Sad Story
by CodyRhodesFan
Summary: A 100 CenaxOrton one-shots that are based on one plot. SLASH. Definite. Deep in Thought - Randy, Johnny Fabulous, and John Cena have an unpleasant encounter.
1. Introduction

**The bold lines are in Randy's POV and the **_italics_** are in John's POV.**

**Dedication? _CenatonObsession_. You should go check out her/his John/Randy fics, they're seriously hot. Actually, I'm sort of jealous. I can't write those sort of scenes at all but I'll stick to angst and write a heart wrenching story about them because I know that I can do that!  
**

Sad Story  
Rated: T – for mentions of suggestive themes; darkness; angst  
Summary: 100 Orton/Cena one-shots. First one (Introduction): An old college friend of John Cena, Mike, dares John to marry Randy and John Cena never backs down from a dare. Follow a series of one-shots that explain how John Cena tries to win the dare.  
Genre: Romance/Angst

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Introduction

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John Cena doesn't really have any friends.

He's never had friends in kinder garden and he's never had friends when entered high school and he's never had friends when he entered wrestling because John's just a repellent to everyone and everything and friendship and a serious relationship and he knows it as much as anyone does.

When an old college friend, Mike Dasher, rings up his hotel and asks John to meet him in a café, John feels a sense of satisfaction and determination and approval bubble up through him. Now, it's not the same routine all over again. _You don't have to pretend to be tough as you shove a guy on the wall in a café and get kicked out and you don't have to pretend to not care to hide the dissatisfaction, the rejection barreling right through you…_ John Cena's always been alone. No one really understands him.

No one understands that six year old boy who stares longingly at the candy store, dreams and thinks and breathes candy but can never really get a signal piece because he really doesn't have enough money. No one understands that nine year old boy that stands in the rain with a hat as his only protection, with ragged clothes and a silent pale face, walking from school with soaked clothes, with tears that no one can see running down his eyes.

That boy used to be just John, no one really cares about him and no one really wants to know him and no one really thinks that he's in shatters and shambles because he's always acting tough in front of them and happy and sweet but he's never really been happy. He's always just been broken pieces inside of a box that has a nice wrapper and now, that the wrapper's slowly tearing away, John was about to lose the cover that he's been hiding from for so long.

He walks towards the café, with his signature hat and his signature t-shirt and his signature sneakers and his fake smile and he sits down next to a boy with blonde hair and brown eyes and John knows that Mike hasn't changed a bit, _all those years _and he hasn't changed. _You haven't changed either, John. You've lost the candy that you've been looking for._

He doesn't want to deny it but he doesn't want to accept it. John has truly lost the candy he's been looking for. He doesn't know what he wants. _What have you really been chasing all your life? _He doesn't know what he likes and what he doesn't and he doesn't know who you really are.

_You finally get tangled in Jeff Hardy's mystery crap, don't you_? He puts on a smile and plays friendly high school teenager Cena for now and Mike's always been that high school teenager, even if it's thirty years old. "John, I saw this bald dude the other day on TV, you know, the one with the two losers always following him?"

John feels something bitter in his mouth as he realizes that he means Randy Orton and he nods his head. "Yeah, Randy," he says with a bleak voice but so hard and so masculine and so thick that bitterness is hiding under his words and have been for so long. "What about him?"

Mike gives a glossy, mischievous smile. "I dare you," John's ears are open and his eyes are alert and everything around him doesn't matter because those words and Mike's eyes and face spell trouble but John Cena's always been John Cena and he knows that trouble follows him around all the time. "To get Orton to marry you and you keep your relationship, secret or open, your choice of course, for a whole two months. Can you do that?"

"Depends. What do I get as payment?" John now has Mike's mischievous million dollar smile and Mike's smile starts to fade before he puts on a thinking face. "How about you marry Orton for the extent of let's say—_a year_?"

"Deal. You'll back down before you can get married Randy Orton. You'll lose for sure. I won't give it more than a week. If you don't do the damn dare, then I'll tell just everyone how _the_ John Cena backed down from a _high school dare_."

Mike nods his head at his theory and John walks out of the café with his head held high _but inside, you're shattering with the dissatisfaction of the entire dare's idea and you don't know what to do or how to start and you're suddenly tired and drained out of your energy_.

Little does John know that the dare is only a beginning of pure disaster for both him and Randy Orton and it'll change and shatter and break the lives of both of them through John's trip to prove his capability of winning a high school dare by a used to be high school friend.

John looks up as the rain falls and he's showering and pelted with fiery fire of the raindrops and he doesn't know how the tears fall off but they do. Hot tears run down off of John Cena's face and now, he's not high school John or wrestler John; he's just that little nine year old boy who wants candy just like all the other kids but can't and tough luck, he can't get anyone to make sure he's safe but his reliable cap to cover his head in shame.

_You're so in vain, John._

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**I know it's short but it's just the beginning. The rest will be all one-shots that are based off of this! Orton/Cena coming its way, people, actually, it'll be a while before they actually fall in love but that's the beauty of it. It's supposed to be angst, people! And I'll try updating daily because seriously, this is _so fun_. Don't throw things at me just because this sounds ridiculous! 1 down. 99 more to go.**

**- Sam**


	2. Love

**Okay, I hate to work on this (everyone knows that's a lie)…I feel tired and hungry and that's why I'm working on this. It's supposedly my new distraction! Yay! Go John and Randy! Yes, I'm hyper, okay?**

**Again, bold lines are Randy. **_Italic_** lines are John.**

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Love

* * *

Randy Orton doesn't know what love feels like.

Randy Orton knows that heartbreak tastes like a freezing storm of snowflakes on a Monday morning, bitter and tasteless. Randy knows that heartbreak feels like a collision of dark and cold, of need and want, of suffocating and drowning, of bitter and thick. He knows that heartbreak's the sound of his screams at night when he wakes up to find himself **all dazed up all confused all playing the wrong game** in his supposedly perfect marriage with Samantha Orton.

Their daughter has a beautiful voice, and her voice becomes screams, constant screams, inside of his head when he falls asleep and he doesn't know how to sleep anymore as he snuggles into his wife's sleeping body and he's always awake to feed the baby but when Randy goes away, into the ring, jumping from country to country, from state to state, her screams still fill the air and he finds himself picking up a pillow and rocking it sleep from the fear of hearing such a scream coming from such a beautiful little girl.

He envies Hunter the most. He envies his perfect family and he envies how he knows how love feels like, and he knows how a baby's laughter sounds like and he knows how to have just the perfect little family while Randy lies in bed, waiting to drown in his so far away daughter's screams and cries and tears and he waits to go back home and hold his daughter and shuffle her screams and hold his wife next to him. **Why doesn't that feel like love? Why isn't it enough?** questions that spiral through his head, spinning and spinning and spinning but all he can taste is bitter heartbreak and all he can hear is screaming and all he can see are sunny snowflakes melting on the floor.

It's all fading.

And he knows that it's fading. He just doesn't know how to stop it from fading. He wakes up one night, and he knows that he really doesn't love Samantha and all he wants to do is snuggle to a person he really loves but he knows that no one can love someone so scarred and so dark and so evil and so like him so he stays in bed until he finds himself staring out the window to see the invisible snowflakes falling as watery rain and he feels like crying but he really doesn't know how to let the tears fall because he's been holding them back for so long that they're almost always filling but never falling.

Randy walks towards the Legacy locker room, early, very early in fact, and he knows that Ted and Cody aren't going to show up for hours but he doesn't really care that he's early or that he has no company and he turns to face his locker but his eyes almost pop out of his face when he realizes that there is a creamy envelope, tape stuck, on his locker of all people.

Nausea rolls in his stomach and he suddenly feels as if a bad piece of paper but he can't be too sure as he takes the envelope and with a hand barely steady, he rips it open and holds in the note but he doesn't read any of the words because bile rises up his throat and dizziness engulfs him and he doesn't know why anyone would send him a love letter **because face it, Randy, you don't know what love is** and he doesn't know if he should read it or not.

_This is going to sound sappy and corny and all but hey, Randy, we're buddies, aren't we? Look, I did something that I shouldn't have and I know that it might shock you to know that I always think about you. Yes, I like you. I like you more than I should've and—meet me in Applebee's tonight at seven. I'm the one in the sunglasses and in the hat._

_From:_

_Respect's Affection_

He wants to tear it and he wants to keep it and he wants to laugh and he wants to smile and he throws the letter inside of his locker because he knows that he's not single and that he's not going **why not? You'll learn how to love**. Randy's heart stops at the possibility but he shakes his head and he knows that if he goes, he might risk watching sunshine snowflake and tasting bitter honey and hearing his daughter's screams.

He might risk losing his heart again.

And the pieces that broke aren't enough to support Randy. Not at all. But he decides to go anyways because he wants to see and hear and feel love and he doesn't know what could happen and something could pretty much happen and he tries to push away thoughts of Samantha.

* * *

It's seven o'clock and Randy's body is shaking inside but he seems so calm and so steady and so open-minded as he pushes the door of the restaurant and smells the familiar food and feels the oxygen wrap around his body so sweetly but his eyes are looking for a description.

He finds a healthy looking man with a black hat and big pair of orange sunglasses and Randy's eyes light up as he walks towards the man and gives off a sweet smile and sits beside him. The man raises his eyebrow.

"Hey, so what's up with the entire Respect's Love letter thing? I mean, if you liked me, you could've just said it in person. Why need this entire love thing?" the words that are barreling through Randy's head are slipping out of his mouth and he feels himself flush into a bright pink but it doesn't show because of the darkness of his flesh.

"Pardon?"

"You know this entire love charade, if you had a thing for me, you could've just told me. You didn't have to write a note saying that you dig me. It's so—out of a movie." Randy gives a smile, 'but that for the effort—"and at that moment, the man punches Randy in the face and Randy's eyes turn confused and bewildered as he feels the pain throb in his cheek.

Another man, with black shades and a black hat, holds onto Randy's body and growls at the man. He looks at Randy as the manager comes and shouts at them both "Out! Out of my restaurant!" and they both find themselves running towards the door and when they get out, they both hold onto their knees from exhaustion but laughter fills the air as they look at each other.

"Did you see his face?" Randy asks the man who seems to be his 'Respect's Love' and the man nods his head.

"His eyes were going to pop out of his head! It's like the first time he saw anyone fight," and then the man took off his shades and glasses and Randy sees his enemy, the person that always thinks he's all that, with his 'Hustle. Loyalty. Respect' t-shirts and his 'My Time is Now' theme song—

"Cena!" Randy realizes as his head spins in confusion and his face feels like paling and he doesn't know if he's standing or if he's just on the floor and watching this all so clearly and he just wants to know what the hell is going on. **You know that no one really wants to love you, Randy**. His hands barrel into fists and he stares at him with a tightened jaw and a rigid face and he feels his blood boiling in his skin. "Is this some kind of joke?!"

"No," John says in certain voice and his eyes confirm it but Randy's too angry and too hurt to see John's eyes and he just wants someone to take his pain seriously but no one does because no one really cares and no one really thinks that Randy Orton can break because he's suddenly all made of steel.

"You really like me? Swear, John?"

John's face drains out of color and he knows he can't lie to Randy and say he really likes him. After all, this is all a silly little bet and John knows it and he bites his lower lip as he tries to find out what to say but he can't so he turns around and he takes a deep breath. "No, I don't like you, Orton." His voice's again filled with honesty and certainty and this makes Randy's blood boil even more and his heart rip into two pieces.

"I'm not your game, Cena! I'm a human being and I won't stand here and take this crap from you! Understand?! Where's the loyalty, Cena?! I can never rely on you. You play with my feelings. You know that I can feel, right, Cena?!" Randy's so tired of shouting but the rage makes him shout and the darkness in his eyes hides the pain very well.

John opens his mouth to protest but his words don't flow out. "Yeah, okay?" he spits out. "I've been playing with you, okay, Orton? Is that what you want to hear? That I put the note in your locker so I can bring you here and make a fool of yourself? Is that what you want to hear?"

"I don't want to hear it," Randy says and he knows that he doesn't want to hear pain dripped in his words but they're there and John fails to misses it because he's just blazing with the same fury that lights up Randy's fire, 'no, okay? I don't want to hear that you're playing with me. Why? Why the hell are you playing with me, John? You think that I won't care?!"

"I wished that you won't care. I just thought that with all Hunter did to you, this wouldn't matter." John says sternly and Randy steps back, feeling as if though he's just an object that can take pain at any level and at any time and he feels a mass of pain finally show in his little eyes. _John, you know that you're both hiding behind masks._ And he takes a short breath, feeling as if though he's going to start sobbing but he doesn't.

"Doesn't matter, huh, John? You know what doesn't matter? I don't matter. Of course, I don't." Randy's voice strains pain and John suddenly steps back at the impact of the words even if they're the softest words that Randy's spoken. "I'm just a tool that takes in pain. I get it now. Well, go ahead, John, hit all you want but you know? No one's going to get anything in the end and you know it."

"Hey…" John starts but Randy already walks away with a sad smile on his face that tries to hide the pain of the invisible dark rain that falls onto the ground and the sounds of his cries when Hunter had fought with him and with the scent of bitter honey and sweet coffee washing over him.

Randy Orton knows that if you get your heart broken by John Cena, it tastes like dark rain and sounds like his shuffling screams and smells like bitter honey and sweet coffee.

And it feels like a mask plastered on your face.

**We're not so different after all, Cena.**

* * *

**Man, did that hurt to write and now, it hurts to read (well, I read when I write, right?) and I hope that you feel Randy's pain as much as you feel John's. I hope that this was okay.**

**;) Sam **

**PS. Next one-shot: '**_**Light'**_**.**

**Here's the full summary for the next one: During a match with John Cena and the Miz, the lights go out and when they turn back on, they find Randy Orton in the ring, giving an RKO to the Miz before having the ring to him and Cena only. Randy speaks out of what Cena did to him the night before. What happens when Vince McMahon steps in the picture? **

**Does it appeal to you or not?**

**Here goes nothing…**


	3. Light

**Here's my update. Don't laugh. I know it's weird.**

**Anyways, if you review, I will love you forever.**

**Hope this is good for you, CO.**

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**

Light

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**

Thoughts of Randy swirl and churn and twist inside of John's head as he walks towards the ring. His face's rigid, his eyes are only a cover of blue against the pain of last night, his hair's covered by his hat and his eyes suddenly catch the Miz at the ring.

The sight makes him sick.

_You know that he knows that you're not as good as you look. _John Cena steps inside of the ring, already feeling disgusted without hearing a word escaping the Miz's mouth and he stares and the Miz opens his mouth to say something and John suddenly feels his stomach uneasily flip but the Miz, instead, charges towards him. John's so into his own little world that the Miz pushes him against the metal part of the ring with so little effort.

John then grabs onto the Miz's shoulders and violently, harshly, easily, pushes him down onto the floor to see the Miz look up at him with blazed fiery in his eyes and John doesn't need to say anything else or do anything else because he can see the fire that burns inside of the Miz's eyes just as well as he could replay the events of last night in his mind, over and over and over again. _Concentrate, idiot. Concentrate_. As just about when John's going to administrate the Five Knuckle Shuffle, the lights of the entire arena goes out.

The darkness falls.

This he knows so well, this he sees and hears and breathes all the time but and as he gets lost in the darkness…he doesn't think he's in the ring anymore _you're somewhere where it's cold and icy, rigid and hard, snowy and dark and you can't get out and you know that you're stuck here forever and ever and ever and you'd rather be here than be in the ring_. John Cena sucks in a quick breath and then, the lights flicker all at once.

He can feel his eyes burn into their sockets from the brightness and he thinks he's blind and he realizes that the Miz is down on the floor, completely out cold _you know that he has know idea just how lucky he is to be in his own little world where everything's completely perfect_ and John looks up to face the image of Randy. Hard and cold, hard eyes covering up pain and he knows that this is the same mask that he uses, hard and firm, to unmask every inch of pain from his eyes and his face and no one can tell that he's actually breaking on the inside.

He holds the microphone in his hands, tight and firm. "Last night," Randy begins, his voice clear and lucid and thick. "I was Cena's personal toy. He played a joke on me. Wrote me a love note and stuck it in my locker. Of course, Cena, the joke's on you now."

John's eyes widen in horror at the subject that slips off Randy's tongue so easily **you know that he's hurting as much as you are**. "Yeah, okay, I messed it up with the entire McMahon thing. Some people say it was cruel and it was. But God, oh God, I did not deserve what Cena did." He takes a deep breath and clutches the mike even tighter in his hand. "You think it's funny knowing that you can be played like with a toy even when you step out of the ring and you're not in the mood for playing? You think it's funny to make fun of me where everyone can see, Cena? It's not. I swear it's not."

He throws the mike on the ground and his eyes have another million words to say but his body doesn't take the fact as he charges John and shoves him to the ropes. Randy's hand balls into a fist and he throws a harsh punch at Cena's gut and John's stomach flips again as he takes Randy's arm and twists it behind Randy's back—

"What the hell is going on?!" Vince McMahon's voice rips through the air with shock and anger bubbling through them as he stares down at the knocked down Miz and back at the fighting duo.

"Orton, what the hell are you doing? This is Miz and Cena's match!"

Randy doesn't even take a minute to respond. He has the words just at the tip of his tongue but they don't slip out and when he's ready to respond, Vince cuts him off before he even says anything and decides for himself. "If I find you playing around in other people's matches, Orton then I'll make sure you'll like your next match." Vince threatens. "A tag team against Chris Jericho and Edge with no disqualification."

* * *

John Cena lies on his bed in a hotel room and he knows that he can't stop thinking about the darkness that engulfs him in the ring _it's the stupidest best fantasy you've ever had_ and the blackness has been interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing over and over, again and again. He finally grabs onto the damn thing and takes the call and then realizes that it's Mike.

"Hey, John, just saw TV. Man, you're really trying to do this, huh? You're trying to get Orton…sweet. John, let's sweeten things up. I want you to get married to him quick. I'll give you two weeks. You know that you're supposed to stay with him for about two months. And if you win, man…which has the chances of Hardy falling in love with Punk…"

"I got it, Mike. Two weeks. I don't know how the hell am I going to do it but I am going to do it. I can do it, understand? I'm _the_ John Cena and I can do it!" he exclaims and tries to believe it but he's so damn tired that nothing he says now sounds right but it doesn't sound stupid either and he hears the dial tone before he shuts the lights off and falls into the darkness _you know that you're always seeing the bright shining sun light a fire in you_. But none of that seems to matter anymore and nothing seems to matter more than those few hours that he's actually slipped into the darkness which feels like forever.

John Cena's never asked for forever but he wants it so much right now. He wants to be in this forever ever darkness because it's the only way he can hide nine year old John thirteen year old John sad John confused John little John just plain everything and he doesn't want anyone to see.

They really don't understand what he says.

_You can't see me._

No one ever could.

* * *

**Sort of short. :P Sorry. I didn't know what else to add. Review??**

**- Sam**


	4. Dark

**The fourth one. Squee!**

**I can't believe it.**

__

Dark

__

Randy Orton's always been dark inside.

He's insane, he's hated, he's stupid and he's always been hurt by words **you're just too weak but you want to hide it**. He feels like he's in this masquerade charade, playing around with John Cena but the pain's plastered in his bleeding heart and it's so real and it's so painful that it's not fake. It's anything but fake and Randy knows it and as he walks down the park.

It's cold and it's late and he knows that it's stupid but he walks down anyways and he hears a sound and he feels a grip on his shoulder and he turns around to see his enemy John Cena **misery should love company, right, Randy?** Randy's eyes turn deadly as he steps back, a tight line on his face, his warm eyes turning hard and darkness hits them with a bang as John tries to step towards him but he steps back until he's being pinned to a tree.

Everything looks dead. Everything feels cold. Everything's just so real that it's hard to fake the emotions that are bubbling right through him but he fakes it.

"Look, Cena, I don't have any time for you. I'm busy." As soon as the words slip off his tongue, Randy regrets saying them because he's not busy but he has no time for him and he's sure as hell doesn't want to see his face and he knows that he hates John Cena because he's—

**You're just like him**.

At the realization, Randy realizes how much he's truly hated himself and John's so alike him that he's hated him too and he knows that John's exactly the same and the realization races to his head all too fast that his head pounds with pain and he slips a little deeper into the hole of darkness he'd been falling into. He licks his lower lip and looks back at John who refuses to leave his place and Randy know it. "Look, what the hell do you want from me? Ready to play with your favorite toy?"

"I swear Orton, they way you say it all, I'm starting to think that I'm the bad guy." John says and silence passes through them and Randy lets out a loud, high-piercing laugh and John steps back in sudden awareness and Randy just feels a little more crazy and just a little more hurt and just a little more childish.

"Cena, you're joking." His sentence's filled with anger and impulse and darkness and John can hear every bit of that in the little sentence.

John shakes his head violently and seriousness burn into his eyes and Randy knows that the words are coming out of his mouth are not that of a joke. "I'm not, okay? I'm not the bad guy, Orton. You are. That night wasn't supposed to be an advertisement for the whole world to see! Hell, the guy that mops the bathrooms know about the entire thing!"

Randy steps away and starts to walk away and even though he can hear John, he doesn't care because he's tired of being someone else's toy and he knows it as much as John does as he steps away.

"Hey! Orton!"

Randy doesn't stop walking and his steps echo and he doesn't look at anyone and no one looks at him and John runs towards him and grabs onto his shoulder and spins him around, his hands now squeezing onto his shoulders as hard as possible and looking at him straight in the eye and he sees the emptiness fill him up so much but John doesn't say anything about it and neither does Randy.

"Hey! I'm talking to you."

"Talk, who says I'm listening to _you_?" Randy says in rage and his eyes speak for him as he tries to budge out of John's grip but couldn't. He tries to push John away but he only squeezes Randy harder and that sends sparks of fiery and rage and anger threatening to ignite through Randy's body. "Let go of me!"

"Who says I'm listening to you?" John repeats Randy's sentence and he hates how he'd turn the tables around on Randy and Randy just stares at John's eyes with pain suddenly filling his own but they don't care. "Tell me, Randy! Who says that I'm listening to you?!"

"You know that you're listening to me," Randy spits out and he takes a series of short and sharp breathes, John refusing to let him go as Randy grips onto his black t-shirt, clutching onto the material tightly _he's holding only onto something that's already falling into a hole of his own_. "Just let go of me, Cena!"

"I'm not listening," he says firmly and he squeezes onto his body tighter, making Randy attempt onto hitting him harshly into the chest but how painful the hit may be, John takes it all in and he doesn't let go no matter what he does and he listens to Randy's short sharp breaths and he feels Randy's hot breath on his chest and he doesn't know if he likes it or not. "Hey, hey, I want to show you something, Orton. Let's say it's sort of an apology for you know, that other night."

__

Randy doesn't want to see it and Cena can see that in his eyes but he knows that he's going to flip his world upside down when Cena arrives at his destination and points at the wall and on the wall, there in sloppy red spray paint, smeared on the wall, the words _'The Legend Killer Lives'_ and around the red spray paint, there are drops and clusters of dark blue.

Randy stares at John Cena and he doesn't know what to say but a few words slip off his tongue anyways and he knows that he means every bit of them. "_You_ did this?" he's angry and he knows it but the anger's been soothed and tone down and now, there's bubbling sweetness and tranquility and serenity through Randy Orton's body **you're being lured into a trap, Randy and then the snowflakes will fall and you'll feel heartbroken all over again** as he smiles softly and that smile's all that John can look at.

It's not forced and it's not happily smeared on his face but it's real and he knows that he'd never seen such a beautiful incredible perfect smile in his life but John awkwardly turns away and can feel himself get hot and blush and so, he doesn't look back at Randy at all. "Why Cena? You that new to having someone hate your guts?"

John shakes his head and he looks at him and he stares back at the wall and even though it's sleazy and stupid and idiotic, he still know that the rage between them is slowly fading and tranquility and serenity and calmness can finally burn between them and as John looks back at Randy, Randy stares. "How do I know you did this?" Randy asks and his voice's thick and certain and he knows that anyone could've done this and just anyone.

And hope glistens into Randy's eyes, pools of blue, a reflection of John Cena's soul and heart and life inside of those baby blue eyes and John just wants to look away as a surge of memories over wash him and he knows that the nine year old boy would've looked away and ran out of place remembering all those times he spent, holding an action figure and knocking onto windows just to get noticed but no one notices and no one says anything at all.

John Cena smirks instead and he pulls out a red paint spray out of his pocket and his smirk widens as he starts spraying on Randy Orton's face and he sees as the dusty red particles cling to Randy's cold flesh and John starts laying as he lets the can fall to the floor.

Randy tackles John, letting him fall to the floor and John doesn't care at all because laughter prevents him from doing anything as Randy reaches into the other pocket and taking out a can of blue paint spray he smiles as he sprays it onto John Cena's all black t-shirt, tracing a heart on his chest and as John's laughter dies into nothing. "So what am I? Canvas?"

"Very hard to work on canvas," Randy says and then grins mischievously. "I'm going to make you into a human painting, just like Jeff Hardy…now, stay still or you'll be soaking with this." John stays still as moments pass with Randy attempting to draw an arrow through the heart before he stands up and inspects his creation, grinning to himself, he nods his head and John stands up.

John examines his t-shirt and shakes his head playfully and sweetly and oh so nicely. "Tsk, tsk, why am I a walking painting made by Jeff Hardy?" Randy stops smiling and he frowns as he realizes that there's a heart drowning in the complete blackness of John's t-shirt **your** **heart's lost in the dark forever, Randy**.

"Orton, you okay?"

Randy steps back and stares at his haunting masterpiece again and he suddenly feels as if his heart's just as lost in the dark and he can't get out of it without ruining himself and he starts walking and even with John Cena behind him, walking after him, he doesn't speed up and he knows it.

"Orton! Sorry about the Hardy jokes! It's really good. I like it!"

John suddenly runs and stands in front of Randy and looks at his face but he's looking down and trying to walk away but he holds Randy's arms and stares at him, lifting his chin and looking at him at the somber blue pools of a nine year old child and he suddenly feels horrible about this entire bet and about what happened and what's happening. "Randy?"

"Just leave me alone, okay? I should-I-"**You can't risk losing your heart again**. Randy looks down, sighs and his hot breath touches John's build and he'd have hugged him but from Randy's eyes, he doesn't want a hug and it's all right. He just wants this all to end and for him to be all alone and that way, he can't be hurt, can he?

"Hey, Orton, you don't have to jet so fast. We were just laughing. What the hell happened back there?" John's voice's filled with unmasked concern and his eyes are as somber as hell but Randy doesn't even notice it as he falls deep inside of himself, inside of the black hole that Randy suddenly realizes he's falling into.

Randy looks back at the wall and he feels as dead as that as he looks back at John, and he doesn't say another word as he pushes past him and runs towards his hotel and when he gets up to his room, he starts panting and falls to the bed and he feels the tears spring to his eyes but he doesn't cry because the Legend Killer can't cry and he knows it too well.

He rests his head on his pillow and leaves the light on but somehow, thoughts of darkness and hate and dead snowflakes enter Randy's dreams and terrify him to pits before he hears the sound of his daughter's scream and it shakes him awake and he can't sleep and he knows it.

Darkness is coming after Randy Orton. He can feel it in his veins and in his brain and in his arteries as he pants with sweat running down his pale face.

**- Sam**


	5. Seeking Solace

**Damn it. I feel like I'm moving too fast while another part of me says that I'm moving too slow. Which one should I listen to? Should I keep it this way? Honestly, I like it this way.**

__

Seeking Solace

__

John Cena's determined to find out what's wrong with Randy Orton.

A screwdriver digs a hole inside of John's wall and he knows that he's switched hotels and got a room right next to Randy Orton and he's becoming obsessed but he has to win the bet and he has to figure out what's wrong and he knows that he'll never forgive himself if he doesn't do both.

He watches Randy Orton rise up from his bed and start to undress himself and a blush creeps up on John's face but he doesn't know how to look away as he takes in the naked image of Randy's body. He'd never seen such a beautiful man and he feels turned on just staring as he looks away and when he looks back, he's in his wrestling attire and has a gray t-shirt on and his blue eyes hide nothing and the misery's glowing and John wants nothing but to touch him, hold him, comfort him but he can't and he knows he can't.

He sighs softly but not loud enough for Randy to hear and Randy doesn't seem to notice anything at all—everything seems gray and everything seems too black and he doesn't know if he should live and he doesn't know if he should die **why doesn't anyone like me?** John can only see his soul hardening into a mass inside of Randy's eyes, scared, so very scared, and he sees as Randy looks down and he can practically see the silence engulf him.

John Cena can't take it, seeing those sad so very sad eyes longing for comfort, seeing that cold rigid face plaster pain and agony, seeing Randy's pale skin crack and break and turn gray from the memories that seem to engulf him every few moments and he knows that it's stupid and that it'll probably make Randy question his motive but he runs to the next room and he swings the door open.

He makes Randy jump and shock burns in his eyes as well as anger but the pain of it all still overlaps anything and everything as John runs towards him and he stares at him and Randy shouts at him with boiling rage and screaming darkness and burning hatred _you're so broken that it breaks me_. "Randy…" John's voice is so soft but Randy doesn't hear him at all.

"What the hell?! Cena?! What are you doing here? You been stalking me or—"that moment, John had pinned Randy to his bed and had stared at him with lusting eyes and he doesn't know if it's the bet or the sadness but he leans down and captures Randy's mouth into a deep, passionate, obsessive kiss and for a moment, Randy had kissed back. John pulls back, breaking the kiss when he realized that Randy's kissing him back and that he had kissed Randy Orton but he wasn't gay.

Randy looks up at John, breathless from the almost kiss, and shock's still barreling through Randy's eyes. "Why—?" his voice's weaker now because his breathing's turned worse but as he takes a deep breath, he looks back at John. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

John looks at him, in disbelief, in doubt, in distrust, "you kissed me back." He says and his voice's almost deadly but Randy looks away as if he can't hear the venom that had swirled in his voice and as John sits beside Randy, the Legend Killer looks away with thoughts of confusing running through his head as he realizes that he'd truly kissed John.

"You pulled back," Randy objects and John realizes that as he pulls Randy back into his lap and for a moment, Randy likes it and he notices how warm this is before reality hits him with a bang and John is a man and he's married and he jumps up, stepping towards the wall.

"Orton, let me kiss you again," John needs the permission this time and he knows that if he just kisses him then Randy will take that as sexual assault and he shouldn't force Randy to do this and he knows that this isn't the way to win that bet and he's confused with thoughts of the bet and thoughts of a serious relationship with Randy Orton _do you really want to be with him?_ but reality hits him as well and he realizes that he doesn't want Randy as much as he wants to win the bet.

"No," Randy says and his voice's determined and he knows that and as John Cena lies down onto the bed, Randy's eyes almost threaten to pop out of his sockets knowing that Cena thinks that he can stay here. "Get out of my room!" he exclaims and his eyes are staring dangerously at John.

John shakes his head and looks at the time and laughs at the thoughts that spiral through his mind. "You don't have a match today and neither do I so you don't need to go to the ring, Randy. Just stay here. Maybe we can talk…" Randy's eyes fill with rage as he reluctantly climbs back on his bed and lies down beside him but Randy knows if he tries to take advantage to this situation, he's ready to hit him, hard and he won't look back.

"I don't want to talk to you," Randy spits out and stares at the ceiling and the pain in his eyes seem to increase and John's heart's practically leaping out to touch him. John's hand move towards his shoulder and Randy looks up before John scoops up Randy in his arms and Randy gives him series of punches on John's chest but as last night in the park, John wouldn't let go. "Let me go!"

John shakes his head and tightens his grip onto Randy's body and that only makes Randy work harder but for a while, his punches deflate. "So, Orton…let's t—"John stops in his position as he notices that Randy's eyes are closed peacefully and that his hot breath is on John's neck and he's asleep with that small sad smile on his face that makes John loosen his grip before realizing that Randy's truthfully asleep and for a while, he holds him.

"No…please…n-no…please…just leave _her_ alone…" Randy whispers in his sleep, clinging to John Cena, distressed, wanting help and seemingly suffering harshly as Randy's face tightens and his shoulders tense and his grip tightens around John's t-shirt. "Just leave her the hell alone…"

And John stares as Randy repeats the words, in the same agony, in the same pain, in the same rage and darkness and John doesn't know if his comfort's enough for Randy as his heart pulses with pain and his brain burns with agony of memories that are never too far away.

___

**Yeah, I know. Short again. Maybe it's turning into a pattern, long, short, long, short—oh well…**

**- Sam**


	6. Break Away

**Okay, you know the drill. Bold=Randy, **_italics_**=John so don't make me say it again. LOL, this is nice. I was kind of stuck but I thought—let's go with the flow.**

**Here you go. Chapter 6 with all its Cena/Orton fluffiness. Okay, I'm a liar. It's a pool of angst really. Just pain and pain and more pain.**

**__**

Break Away

__

"_No…"_

His voice has distress and agony and misery burning inside of it and Randy knows it. The horror replays through his head, over and over, flashes of dead white, flashes of blood red, flashes of fallen black and he doesn't know how to stop any of them from taking over his so crumpled mine his so broken mind his so crushed to bits mind.

"_Please…"_

He can almost see her, his little Alanna, in _his_ arms, all sweaty, all tired, all so tiny and so hopeless and so very helpless and her cries are shuffled out by his hot breath on her pale face. His beautiful little Alanna, in danger, in distress, in agony, in his arms and he can't do anything about it but watch.

"_N-no…"_

He wants to hold her, to keep her safe as he watches Alanna's eyeballs fill with tears and a part of Randy's heart rips into shreds as he sees his daughter, with scared little eyes, shaky fists, her screams fill the air and he doesn't think that he can hear anything else.

"_Please…"_

He just wants Hunter to let go of his daughter, squeezing her, hurting her, she doesn't deserve this and she can't handle this but Hunter's eyes are condensing darkly and he stares at Randy, wanting nothing more than to crush his little heart but he'd done that already.

"_Just leave __**her**__ alone…"_

The words slip off with acid, and Randy feels as if the tears will fall down his face as he stares at his daughter, pained, weak, vulnerable and Hunter's feeding on his vulnerability. He's laughing at him, and it shows in his eyes, laughing darkly at what he's doing.

"_Just leave her the hell alone…"_

Randy sees him as his thick finger touches her hair, letting a thick strand twirl around his finger and Randy feels like tearing apart, wanting to hold her and get her away and he just can't do anything about it but watch and stare or he'll hurt her. He might hurt her.

He really might hurt his little Alanna.

__

Randy's eyes pop wide open and he doesn't know where he is and he doesn't register it at all as he screams her name, "Alanna!"

John's hands grip onto his shoulders. "Orton? You okay?" but Randy's short and sharp breaths don't stop and John tries to massage his shoulders but Randy's sweating like crazy and he's not coming down.

"Where's my daughter?!" Randy exclaims and John only grips tighter to make him calm down and John can feel the little droplets of sweat running from his neck.

"She's back at home, Randy. She's okay. She's—"John looks clearly to realize that Randy's so close to tears and his face's so cracked and his eyes are so broken and he just wants to die as he scrambles into John's chest and tries to breathe but he doesn't know how to. "Orton?"

"Cena, is…is she safe?"

"Yes, Randy. Why?"

"Triple H. Something between us." Randy tries to shake the bad memories out but John's hands are still on Randy's shoulder and they're still squeezing tightly and Randy knows that John wants to know every single detail.

"Tell me about it."

"No, it's pers—"

"You know that I'll bug you about it, Orton," he says, and his voice's stern and so stiff and Randy sighs as he leans back down and John massages his tense shoulders and Randy eases up slightly knowing that his daughter's safe and she's back home. Randy wants to be back home with her right now.

"You know the entire Triple H epidemic? He came around my house, in the middle of the night and my wife was out, giving some medicine to her mother and it was just me and Alanna and he held her, he grabbed onto her body and squeezed the life out of her and she was screaming. Her screams—they haunt me, man. They're like always in my head. I can't get them out." He starts then he takes another deep breath.

"He told me if I step any closer then she's going to get it so I watched him as he squeezed her, really hurt her, shook her over and over and her screams—they made me feel like I was a horrible father. And as I watched, he pulled her back down onto her crib and discarded like nothing happened. And I heard her scream and cry for the rest of the night. Nothing I could do would stop her. She was—she was scared…completely scared…of me."

John's arms outstretch and he lets Randy lie and shake but he's not crying. He's just shaking from the sudden feeling of coldness running through him **so many snowflakes so much heartbreak** and he knows it as well as anyone did.

They're both broken.

They both see the snowflakes, black and dead.

As dead as they are.

__

John knocks at Triple H's door and he doesn't care that the coldness is practically swallow his body whole and he stares as Triple H steps out of his locker room with his ring attire hugging him proudly and tightly. John's eyes sparked up a blue storm of anger and frustration and disbelief. "What the hell were you thinking doing what you did to Orton?" John snaps at him.

"What? Orton deserved every bit of what was coming to him," Hunter spits out with disgust rolling through his voice and John's face hardened plaster but Hunter laughs at John's attempt in being angry. "Take off your shirt. I think this is going to turn into a fight, Cena."

John sheds his t-shirt off and throws it on the floor. His toned and defined body sparkles in the light even when his eyes are as hard as ice and they both walk into Hunter's room and they don't care about the things around it as Hunter shuts the door and closes it so that no one can bother them and their words will be the only thing filling the empty air.

"I'm serious. You don't know how you've hurt the little guy. The poor thing's close to tears and you think that hurting his daughter is a solution? Stephanie and Vince and Shane—they can take it. Randy knows that. But his daughter—his year old daughter—doesn't deserve that type of pain!"

"And neither does Stephanie, or any of her family," Hunter snaps as he stands up to face John Cena, face to face and Hunter's breath is on his face and his eyes are only on John's face and they both know that they hate each other just by the look in their eyes.

__

**So many snowflakes…**

Randy walks towards the Legacy locker room but when he hears Hunter's and John's muffled, barely audible voice, he walks towards it, holding onto the door and pressing his ear to the door to hear those muffled voices becoming clearer and clearer.

"_And neither does Stephanie, or any of her family."_

Silence roamed through the room as Randy licks his lip and is about to leave but then Hunter's words fill up the air again.

"_You know that Orton doesn't even deserve a family. He's just no good. If he can't take care of his daughter, then who can he take care of? His wife's probably cheating on him. He's got nothing and he'll never have anything. The man doesn't even know what love means, so why should I care that he can't take care of his daughter? He'll never be able to."_

Randy opens his mouth partly but takes in the words and he looks away and his eyes are suddenly red and puffy from the tears that are stinging but not falling because Randy Orton just doesn't cry and as he looks around to find a black t-shirt onto the floor that has '_Hustle. Loyalty. Respect'_ on it and Randy grips onto the t-shirt as if it's his life.

_Hustle_.

**I know about the cover that's trying to hold back the emotions in John Cena's eyes.**

_You're such in a hurry that you don't know the words that are spilling out of your mouth… ""I got it, Mike. Two weeks. I don't know how the hell am I going to do it but I am going to do it. I can do it, understand? I'm the John Cena and I can do it!"…all lies…_

**You're lying to yourself that you're blind to who you really are, Cena.**

_Loyalty_.

**I've opened up to him and now he's standing next to Hunter, hearing those words but not fighting back…**

_Sometimes, you don't think you can fight back. _

**I'm not worth fighting for.**

_Respect_.

**Where's the respect? What the hell is respect to you, Cena?**

_Respect is when you care about someone so much that any insult about them breaks you so much on the inside you can't speak anymore._

… **just so much heartbreak.**

__

**I think I like this one more than the others…maybe 'Dark' is the best one. I don't know. I really connected with this one. I have a feeling that this one is the best until now.**

**:P Sam**

**PS. Next one: '**_**Heaven'**_**. **

**Summary: John connects the pieces of Randy's odd behavior. Randy's on a bus to another town and he doesn't want to see John's face again. Can John convince him that he cares? **

**I think this one'll be fluffy at the end. Of course, there'll be angst. When is there never? But it'll be fluffy in the end…I hope. :D**


	7. Heaven

**Yay! The seventh one-shot!**

**I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it. It was fun.**

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Heaven

__

That morning, as John Cena walks up to cold air and a dull sun and a cloudy day, he stands up and dresses into casual clothes, not forgetting his favorite black and orange hat as he steps out of the hotel room and into the world and as he walks down to feel energized and happy and livid, he actually feels tired and depressed and dead inside and he knows why.

Yesterday's scene had been running in and out of John's conscious and subconscious when he's asleep, the words that slip out of Hunter's tongue, the harsh words that could've broken him and Randy at once, and he doesn't know how to stop it from spiraling into his head and as he passes the park, he realizes that there's this sad little boy with blue eyes and a broken face and as John registers his appearance, he realizes that the sad little boy is actually Randy Orton and as he walks towards him with a sweet smile and hidden clustered pain, Randy doesn't look up at all.

"Good morning, right?"

No words slip out of Randy's tongue and his eyes are foggy and unclear and it's like dreams are spinning through his head, so surreal and so inside of his dreams, and so broken hearted and so very hurt that John's tempted to sit next to him. "Hey, don't give me that look," he says and he sits down next to him, his voice's soft now and he knows why. "Is something wrong?"

**Everything's so wrong and it's all because of him and you know it more than anyone does** Randy looks at John's face and no words escape and he's just trapped into his thoughts. "Get the hell away from me," Randy spits out, his voice's venom, alcoholic acid burning up.

"Why are you acting this way?" John says and everything's so drained out of his brain that all he notices is Randy's broken and cracked and shattered eyes and he doesn't think he can notice anything else. Nothing but Randy's eyes exist now and his words just break the fragile blue substance in Randy's eyes.

"Anyone who can't take care of a family acts this way, anyone who's no good acts this way, so why can't I?" John doesn't know how to process the words that are going out of Randy's tongue because all he's doing is staring at his broken eyes and that's all he can ever do and they don't notice the silence that's pouring between them every few moments.

"I can't take care of my daughter, don't you know? I've got nothing, don't know, Cena? You've heard those words before, and you know it." _You just don't understand_ John's mind has been flashing to Randy's conversation and last night and flashes of lightening _blue striking lightening that cuts John straight open_ and pounding light. "Actually, since I've got nothing, I must be nothing. No heart. No mind. No nothing, huh, Cena? I'm so made of nothing and I'm so nothing that I don't know what love means. I'll never even be able to take care of Alanna."

And even as Randy walks off, John's in his own little world where everything's just spiraling out of reach and he doesn't understand anything at all because it's all so confusing. It's all too confusing and he stares up in the sky and he wonders of the gray dots in the sky, the gray line, is that what love is? All just gray area and blurred lines.

Blurred lines of John's heart.

Gray area of Randy's blood.

Clustered together, is it love?

__

John Cena strides down the road and thoughts are running through his head and he doesn't know what to think or what to grasp on and he just steps towards the hotel but shakes his head because he's not going inside and he doesn't want to be locked up and he wants to be in the fresh air _even if it's really suffocating you, John_ and he stands towards the building.

John's face turns rigid and cold and hard and he knows that his thoughts are only spinning around Randy Orton and spiraling around the words as he tries to connect them from his mind.

"**Anyone who can't take care of a family acts this way?"**

A shiver runs down John's spine. He hates hearing it, running through his head, his voice, filled with disgust at himself, rolling punches in his own stomach—his voice, weak and fragile, hating himself, more than he'll ever hate John.

"**Anyone who's no good acts this way, so why can't I?"**

_I'm no good, Randy. You're better than I ever was._

"**I can't take care of my daughter, don't you know?"**

… "_**You know that Orton doesn't even deserve a family. He's just no good. If he can't take care of his daughter, then who can he take care of?"…**_

_It's not your fault, Randy._

John suddenly knows that Randy's been eavesdropping on his and Triple H's conversation and he stands so stiff and so frozen and so straight and he wants to run and find Randy but his mind won't let him because everything's just replaying and replaying and replaying…

"**I've got nothing, don't know, Cena? You've heard those words before, and you know it."**

…"_**His wife's probably cheating on him. He's got nothing and he'll never have anything."…**_

_You've got my respect, Orton. My respect. You'll always have that…_

John steps back and he doesn't even notice it as his head continues to pound and throb and spin and he doesn't even care anymore as he sees and hears and feels everything he's felt before as he hears the conversation, as he knows what he could've said.

"_Actually, since I've got nothing, I must be nothing. No heart. No mind. No nothing, huh, Cena? I'm so made of nothing and I'm so nothing that I don't know what love means. I'll never even be able to take care of Alanna."_

…"_**The man doesn't even know what love means, so why should I care that he can't take care of his daughter? He'll never be able to."…**_

_Don't tell me you don't have anything, Orton. You have my respect…you…_

John starts running as he realizes the last few words of that sentence and he's running to the bus stop and he knows that he's got to get to the hotel and he wants to get to Randy as fast as possible.

_You…_

John's eyes can't hide anything anymore, love, affection, pain, hurt, years and years of childish hope are shining bright white, bright hope, in his eyes and he doesn't even care.

_You have my heart, Randy Orton._

__

Randy stands by the bus stop and looks down at the floor, with his face rigid and hard and his eyes are dull and he slowly moves to the bus before a sound had struck him and he falls to the floor. A puddle splashes and plasters and drowns Randy's body in cold water and Randy looks up miserably to find those blue eyes—blue eyes of John Cena, your blue eyes—and he stands up, with cold droplets falling on him as well **little droplets of melted snowflakes fall away…heartbreak**.

Randy turns off and is ready to leave when he feels John Cena's hand grab and press onto Randy's and he looks back at John Cena who pleads with his eyes, his face's relaxed but his eyes are pleading, and Randy can see that and that's why he stands there, staring at the man who's broken him, who's shattered him, who's left the pieces on the floor and not picked them up.

"I-I wrote you something, Orton," Randy arches an eyebrow in confusion and amusement and he knows he just wants to run away from John's face but they're staring at each other's eyes right now and they're locked and their souls are trapped and John pulls out a crumpled paper, trying to straighten it. "Here, read this."

Randy crosses his arms and looks at him with sternness and his eyes are looking down with pain from black memories over clouding his head, "I'll go, Cena." John notices that his voice's strained with broken pain, and a want for love and a need for help and his eyes are strained with shattered music.

John opens his chapped and cracked lips and he looks back down at the tattered paper and he doesn't say another word for a while. _"My time is up. Your time is now. Somehow, you let yourself break up—and I'm pretty sure you know how. I can't see you. But I know you're stuck with black and blue glue. And you don't know what to do. So let me fly to your rescue because it's you I pursue."_

Eyes lock up again, John's with desire and lust and Randy's with confusion and hurt and they move towards each other, like a dance, with the sultry winter sky being the only guide and they're still staring at their arms as Randy puts his hand in John's hand and they look up at the forever sky that painted no limits now.

They're in heaven now.

__

**I like the last line. :P**

**Next one. ****'**_**Innocence'**_**.**

**Summary****: John Cena's making Randy look for a bottle in the beach sand. The question is: why? **

**This one will be a mixture of fluff and angst. Yeah. It'll make much more sense when you read it.**


	8. Innocence

**Okay, I think this may be one of the fluffiest one-shots.**

**There must be angst and there is. In the beginning, it's all a ball of angst. But it'll get better as it nears the end.**

__

Innocence

__

That morning, Randy's awaken by the sound of the phone ringing and he picks it up and he hears her voice **she breaks your heart with that voice because it's the one she used when she's happy and now, after this, you know you've never really been happy** and he hears her sweet voice on the other end of the line but feels sour and acidic on in the inside.

"Randy? The divorce is final now." She says and she's so happy about it when Randy's blood turns acidic and he doesn't think he'll live from so much hot blood inside of him anymore but he does. "Alanna is mine, Randy. I can't leave you with her anymore. I'm scared for her."

"It was a mistake," Randy's voice's cracked and weak and he closes it on her before she can say anything else because it already haunts him, thoughts of Alanna, never seen him ever again, it's a possibility and he knows that Sam will file a restraining order again him if he tries to be anywhere near her and he's thinking of taking that risk.

_Randy stands there, as Alanna's blood spews blood and he looks back up at Triple H with no anger, just shock and concern surges through his head and all the blood burns and he holds his little Alanna in his arms as tight as possible and he's so very scared for her _**she's so helpless…so little…so hopeless…**

"I could've saved her," he whispers and he wants everything to go back to normal and he doesn't want his daughter's wide eyes staring at horror at Randy and he doesn't want her screaming with fear and he doesn't want to see her face pale in the fear that's washing over her… "Could I have saved her?"

__

_Randy. I know that this is a bad time for you but I think I know a way to make you feel better. Come to the beach at ten o'clock tonight…sorry about Alanna. I know how much you loved her. –John Cena_

__

Randy Orton arrives at the beach around ten o'clock at night and he stands up, letting the cold rush of cold burn inside of him and there's no one there and there's no one who's enough of an idiot to come here late at night **you don't really know if you're coming here just because of him** and Randy knows that the cold rush of air, and the sticky freezing sand beneath him has made his heart relax and pump blood but he doesn't think he has a lot of blood left in him anyways.

Randy thinks of Sam and a sense of closure finally seeps through him because now, he can seek and search for love and maybe even find it because he'd never really loved Sam but then he's let down when he realizes that he's always loved Alanna and now he'll never be able to touch her again and he wants her badly **she's the better part of me**.

He finds John Cena standing and staring at Randy _I don't have to hide anymore, Orton_ and now that no one was staring, he didn't have to hide how he felt or how he wanted to feel. It was all there _affection and love and respect_ in John's eyes and John doesn't know if it's because he's a good actor or if it's really because it's how he feels and his best guess is that this is how he really feels.

Randy lets the pain show in his eyes and John's eyebrow arches and Randy can see that John hates this _you're in pain and you're making me feel that pain too_ and as John points towards the ground, where an 'X' was marked and Randy raises an eyebrow in confusion and John laughs at how cute it all is as John grabs onto Randy's shoulders and pushes him down, leaning beside him. "I want you to dig."

"Treasure in there?" Randy jokes and John chuckles lightly before he nods his head and Randy puts his dry hands inside of the cold sand as John takes a bucket that had been sitting next to him, a nice red bucket that's black in the darkness around them and even with the cold air engulfing them, Randy and John don't seem to notice because Randy's digging the dry cold sand with his hands and John's busy filling up the bucket and staring at Randy's face in the coldness _even when_ _you're broken, you're beautiful_.

John makes his way back to Randy with the bucket splashing heavy water in and out, running down to the sand, John lets the bucket stay on the sand and he starts playing around with rocks and Randy laughs. "You're being a little kid today, aren't you?" Randy asks as he continues to dig through the sand, not caring that his hands hurt and that his eyes are only glued onto John.

"Yes, John Cena wants to be innocent again and play around with rocks today instead of drinking beer and watching football." John replies as Randy goes back to digging around in the sand, and after a while, Randy's frustrated because he can't find anything. "What am I looking for, John?"

"A bottle," John replies and there's a grin on his face and as he puts the finishing touches on his rocks and he looks back at Randy to find him rolling his sleeves and really digging inside of the dirt and he laughs _you're digging to find my heart_ and John watches as Randy starts panting. "What is in here? Actual gold?"

"Yeah, actual gold," John nods, and Randy puts one tired hand inside to finally pull out a bottle of champagne and Randy dusts it off quickly so that the clinging dust falls and he looks at John Cena angrily.

"You made me dig for what? Two hours to get a bottle of champagne? You said there was actual gold here!" Randy exclaims and John takes the bottle before he opens it and takes a long swig and Randy grabs onto the bottle and takes a mouthful of champagne before John laughs again. "Drink that anymore and you'll choke."

"What do you mean?" Randy asks and John grabs the bottle away from him, drinking it a little bit and then looking inside of the bottle.

"Stand up and I'll give it to you," John orders and Randy rolls his eyes as he stands up and standing so close to John sends a shiver down his spine as John quickly gives the bottle to Randy and as Randy takes it, looking deep into its core to find a little piece of gold glinting inside of it. "See? Actual gold!"

Randy closes his eyes and lets the piece fall into his hands and his thoughts are what is it? Real gold? It better not be one of those rapper necklaces—but as Randy opens his eyes, he's staring down at a thick gold diamond engagement ring and Randy's eyes threaten to spill tears as he looks back up at John who points down. Randy looks back at the sandy floor, at the rocks, the words inscribed _"will you marry me?"_ Randy whips his head off and slaps John playfully on the cheek, making John chuckle as he holds Randy's wrist to prevent him for 'hurting' him again.

"Of course I will, you big dope!" John's eyes spark up a light of success and then it slowly dims down as he realizes that the only reason he's filling success is because this is all a bet but John pushes the thought away, "let me find out how long you can hold onto that ring anyways."

Randy looks at him in confusion as John throws the bucket of cold water on Randy's body, soaking him thoroughly, and laughing hysterically and Randy looks back at him and he holds John's hand, bringing him to the ocean and John tries to protest and stop laughing as Randy throws him deep into the water. John comes back up with wet hair and a grin that lights up all of the stars on the sky. "Still have the ring?"

Randy flashes the little piece of jewelry to him and John nods his head. "Good," he says as he grabs onto Randy's leg and throws him into the water and they wrap their bodies and a surge of fire burns up between them and they both reach for air as a chorus of laughter comes from each of their mouths **you don't know how love really feels like until now and you don't want to let it slip away**. John and Randy's eyes lock again and an intense moment flutter between them as Randy's head rests in John's chest.

John takes the ring from Randy's fist and slips it into his finger, before watching him fall asleep as he ruffles through his hair _innocence follows you, sticks to you and I feel like I'm taking your innocence away…_

**Not enough angst.**

**-Sam**

**PS. Next one-shot '**_**Drive'**_**.**

**Summary: John and Randy go for a drive and a lot of childhood memories come to their heads—painful ones.**


	9. Drive

**I've been listening to those sad love songs again so yeah…it'll be a sad/romantic one-shot all at once. Bold memories are Randy's, _italic_ memories are John's.**

__

Drive

__

It's midnight and they're both in a car and they don't care where the hell they're going because John and Randy just want to go away and escape it all and John wants to escape the thoughts of the bet _what are you doing to Randy?_ And he wants to escape reality and all of it _I want to fall into those black dreams again_ where no one can see him and he wants Randy to be there too.

Randy wants to escape too and he wants to escape thoughts of poor little Alanna growing up without her daddy **she's really better off without you but you still want her** and he wants to escape thoughts of pain and misery because she's not around and he wants the only person in the world to be here be John Cena and he doesn't care where they are.

And as their car move farther into the night, Randy's heart pulses with tranquility and serenity but his mind's shouting at him and screaming at him and every time he hears the screech of the car he tries not to tell the memory over wash him but it does…

**Two year old Randy Orton's holding a bright green toy in his hand and he waves it into the air and laughs and makes bubbles with his mouth and when the child lays eyes on four year old John Cena and even if they're really far away, Randy's heart stops because he knows John Cena's a bad person and he waves the toy up in the air and starts crying…tears running down Randy's little blue eyes…**

And as John parts those perfect pink lips, Randy's eyes stares only at John's eyes and nothing coming out of John's mouth makes sense anymore and he's all so trapped **you thought you can run away?** and Randy's stomach sloshes unevenly with pain and acid knots and nausea.

John looks and him and at that face, that innocent little face is the same face that Randy had when he's ten years old…

**Ten year old Randy Orton's running away from a group of bullies and his lip's swollen and his eyes are bleeding pain and his veins seem to want to pop out of his head and his arteries are pulsing more agony and terror, and as he stops, holding onto his knees, panting, breathing in and out, breathing in and out, fast and slow, so slow, and Randy doesn't think he has enough oxygen to be alive and as he twists his face to look at the eyes of one of them…**

_John Cena hears a scream and he runs as fast as he can and with all his might until he reaches the scene, right in front of his eyes and he knows that those people just want to punch the crap out of Randy and seeing the terror and horror in Randy's eyes, John runs over to them and stands in front of Randy in an overprotective manner and they laugh at him as he makes his hand into a fist and snarls at them, "get out of the way, Cena."_

"_How can I move? You can't see me…"_

"_What?" _

_And at the moment, John had out of nowhere charged towards the boy and he tumbles down and John looks back at the rest and they start to run off and the fallen boy stands up and runs off as well and John looks back, crazed with the power that's in his hand and his head's covered by a black hat and Randy mumbles a quick "thanks" before he tries to go away and John's still so very crazed with power that he grabs onto Randy's shoulder and looks deep into his eyes… "Wait, what kind of a thanks is that?"_

**Randy's body exploded with even more fear and horror and terror as John pushes him up to a wall and their lips cover each other and they're staring at each other's eyes and even as John tries to kiss Randy, Randy doesn't do anything from the terror that's raking his body and the fear that's exploding in his heart and the horror of a **_**boy**_** kissing him…**

**As John parts and runs off, leaving his hat onto the floor, Randy stares, shocked and terrified, looking down onto the floor and grabbing onto John's hat and the scent's still there and Randy doesn't even want to look at his own face anymore… John had kissed him and his world's spinning out of reach and he doesn't know how to fly anymore and he's all so scared into this world in front of him.**

Randy and John stopped the car hours ago and now, they're both entangled in each other, Randy in John's arms and Randy reaching for John's cap, throwing it on his head and burying his head inside of John Cena's chest and they don't care if they fall out as long as they're together and they know that they can't escape reality but they want to so very much and Randy knows it better than anyone.

"I'm trapped, John…"

**Randy's body's twitching as he runs inside of his house and locks the door and shuts everything and he lies onto his bed and everything's barricaded and he puts the covers over him and he wants to suffocate and he wants to be alone but thoughts of John Cena keeps on bugging him…**

_John runs and runs and runs and he stops by that candy store, looking at the pretty little lollipops and candies and he can almost feel them rolling around in his tongue and he wants them and he doesn't know if he's ever tasted anything sweet in his life and when he twists his head, he finds a boy with his black hat and he knows that it has to be the Randy Orton because that's the day he realizes that his hat's missing and he runs towards him._

_When Randy sees him, his body explodes with terror and John feels guilt and humiliation and disgrace and he feels like a monster, knowing that Randy thinks of him as one and they're running away from each other, towards each other and they don't know what they're doing until they find themselves onto the floor and John's hot breath's on Randy's cold face…_

"_Let me go."_

"_I want—"_

_Randy shoves John back his hat and he looks away and when everything's gone, John finally finishes the sentence and the hat in his hands doesn't smell like John anymore, it smells like Randy…_

And now, that Randy's asleep, John snuggles his head towards Randy's neck and he smells the scent of heartbreak and snowflakes and fear and terror and horror all together in his hat and he knows that his hat's caught Randy's scent and—

The pain flickers through John again as he begins his sentence. "I want—"his nose takes another whiff of his black hat and he closes his eyes and lets the painful, clear and vivid memory over wash his mind.

_Twelve year old John Cena places the hat back on his head and he stares as he waits for Randy to return and scream at him and tell him how it's wrong that he kissed him but no one comes and the candy in the candy store doesn't interest John anymore… _

_"I want—"_

_He bites his lip, stepping back. Thoughts of Randy entering his mind and his head twists towards the vast emptiness in the road and he's still thinking of Randy and Randy only._

"—_you."_

**Review? I've got nothing else to say.**

**;) Sam**

**Next chapter. **_**Breathe Again**_**.**

**Summary: When Randy gets a phone call about Alanna, his world crashes down. He doesn't talk to anyone, he barely eats, he's depressed beyond help and he starts avoiding John at all costs. Can John find out what's wrong before Randy does something drastic to himself?**


	10. Breathe Again

**Here's the next chapter. Took me long enough. :P**

__

Breathe Again

__

John thinks that Randy doesn't know how to breathe anymore as Randy presses the cell phone harder to his ear to listen to the words more carefully and his heart beats with pain and pulses with vanity and he doesn't know if he's breathing or if he's dead and nothing seems to matter anymore than the words that are flowing so easily out of Sam's mouth and he just wants to be suffocated as she hangs up on him and the phone just seems to slip out of his hand **your whole world's crashing and spinning out of control and you're spinning in it and you just want to stop the dizziness and the nausea and you just want to be better but you're not**.

Nausea and acid knots and queasiness twists and turns and burns inside of Randy's empty stomach and he doesn't even care and his head's spinning and spinning and spinning with pain and bubbling agony and anguish and he doesn't even care and he tries to remember that he's alive and standing and John's right in front of him but he can't you think that your heart's just stopped beating.

Randy twists and turns away from a confused, concerned, disturbed John Cena and he doesn't say another word and he thinks he's lost the ability to speak because every time he tries to say "bye, John" turns into an attempt of trying to take a quick swift deep breath that'll last forever into his lungs but every breath just makes him feel emptier inside **you had an angel in your arms and now, you're in Hell's** **gates and you're hoping that she's safe and tucked away and healthy and perfect but she isn't.**

"Randy?"

John's voice is so muffled that Randy thinks that it's a so far away from his reach and he just continues to walk away and he doesn't think he can hear anymore and he's just so desolated and so very hurt and so very distressed into his own little world and he doesn't think that anyone can make anything better anymore at all and his eyes are dilating and his veins are cutting themselves to pieces and his arteries are popping out of their position.

And his entire world's spinning and spinning and spinning out of control and it's crashing and crashing and crashing down.

__

John steps into Randy's room and he notices that the boy isn't even sleeping and he's staring into space and there's that look of pain and agony and desolation twisting and burning and plastered on his face and his eyes are two pools of depression and they're ice that's melted and they're filled with languish and need and want and John doesn't think that Randy's alive anymore but his lips are slightly parted and his eyes are twinkling and he wants that star in the sky back but he knows he can't have her.

Randy's fading and fading and fading away from reality _you've never even been in reality, John…do you want him to lose his?_ And as words of affection "Randy? What's wrong?" pour of John's mouth, Randy still seems to not notice his words at all as he tries to speak a word but he doesn't even whisper and Randy doesn't look like he's breathing and John's heart twists with agony and pain and distress seeing Randy's terrified eyes replay horror into his head.

And John spends the night with Randy, holding him but Randy doesn't even seem to be alive, he's so lost into the darkness that he's in that he's creating his own little world of horror and terror and fear in his head _you're not in his mind anymore, John_ and John finds himself, squeezing onto Randy's body, tightening his grips and whispering sweet words into his ear from "it's going to be alright" to "please, talk to me" every few moments, Randy doesn't even utter a word under his breath and John's so very scared for Randy's behalf.

He'd never see Randy fall apart like this.

And John doesn't know if he can pick up the pieces because Randy seems to be using those pieces to cut himself even deeper inside because in Randy's blue eyes, all that seems to be there is words that horrify John…

**I deserve to bleed.**

__

Randy doesn't eat.

**Nothing can feel me up anymore.**

_His mouth doesn't open up anymore and he's just so frozen in time that I don't know if I can bring him back to life. I think I'm lost in frozen time too now._

Randy doesn't sleep.

**Corpses don't sleep.**

_He's always been so very asleep on the inside and he's waiting for someone to wake him up from the casket sleep he's been in._

Randy doesn't even look at John anymore.

**I can't look at him without seeing pain in his eyes. I hate seeing John sad.**

_I don't know if it's my fault but I'm starting to suspect that it's my fault. Did I do something, Randy? Is it my fault? I'm sorry—is it really my fault?_

__

John steps into the room and he's expected to see Randy's body draped over the bed, staring at the pure nothingness of the world but when he sees that the bed's empty and that Randy's not even in the room, both relief and panic flushes over him and he doesn't know if Randy's hurt himself and he doesn't know if Randy's just taking a walk and he's so very scared of the options that are barreling through his head right now.

John hears the sound of a needle dropping in the bathroom and panic hits him in the more _a needle to sink in your flesh_ and John realizes that it's a possibility as he races and runs and rushes to the bathroom door and realizes that it's locked. Panic and fear and terror burns through him as John knocks onto the door and John doesn't think that he can breathe and he steps back, letting his sneakers harshly step onto the door but it's still locked.

And John slams his foot harsher into the door, stopping so evenly to take short and sharp breaths and he finally breaks the door open and as the door's cracked open, he finds Randy on the bathroom floor, clad in shorts and a ripped black top, with bloodshot eyes having blood run from his eye sockets and his mouth's cut and the exposed flesh of his chest has white bloodied stitches on it and Randy looks at John without a word but the silence talks for them inside.

_Randy, breathe._

**I can't.**

_Randy, breathe with me._

And as John's hands entangled and wrap around Randy's body and he lets Randy's blood soak John's body and they don't care about anything anymore as John lets the tears run down his eyes from the distress and pain that's swallowing him whole and Randy sits there, a corpse, staring and he doesn't know how to wake up from this nightmare.

_Breathe…breathe again for me, Randy._

**D—dead people don't breathe.**

__

**I have a thing for stitches and puppets.**

**:P Sam**

**Next chapter is '**_**Memory'**_**.**

**Summary: One-shot song-fic of "**_**Lonely Nights**_**" by Scorpions. John wants to hold onto every moment of his and Randy's memories and replay it in his head because with every steady heartbeat they spend together, every memory—it lasts forever.**

**It's all angst, yes but there are bits of romance in it.**


	11. Memory

**The other one-shot. It's sort of long so beware the length then again. I should be updating.**

**Hope this satisfies all Orton/Cena fans. I know songfic but it's not your every songfic. It's my type of songfic, twisted, original and different because I live to be different than everyone else.**

__

Memory

__

_**Since you're gone**__**  
**__**there is an empty space**_

John's concentrated blue eyes have loss of hope and there's nothing left to do but walk and try to clear his head and he wants his wings back but he can't fly anymore since he has only one wing and he needs to embrace Randy to fly off into their own little world and he recalls a time when he's had two wings—and when he'd seen Randy Orton for the first time, Randy's clawed at his wings, tattered, ragged and frayed wing now and John had done the same, tattered, rage and frayed Randy's wing and now, they can't fly anymore without holding onto each other _and as we hold onto each other, we're crashing and burning and falling into disaster_.

John's body's pale in the moonlight and he doesn't really care that he's glowing and that he's a mortal right now as he looks into the water, cold and stirring ice, striking fire and burning condensing pain inside of him, cold and stirring and striking and burning ice, inside of him and he doesn't really know if he can feel warmth again now that Randy's skin's so cold as they embrace and they end up shivering but their touch seems eternal and comforting and filled with hurt and dismay.

John notices as Randy's skin sheds and he's a new person and he just doesn't speak and he just doesn't cry and he doesn't move much and he doesn't wrestle anymore and he's all tucked into bed and John knows that Randy doesn't want to be found and keeps telling Cody and Ted that "Randy just needs a little space" but Randy's body's filled with emptiness and John knows it that Randy doesn't need space _you don't either John_.

He wants to be filled.

_**Since you're gone**__**  
**__**the world is not the same**_

John's world used to be all in sweetness and in life and away from death but now that he's entered Randy's world, all he can see is blood and disgrace and pain and hurt and John wants to leave but he can't and he knows that he can't leave with Randy right beside him, to hold him, to love him, to fix away every mistake he's ever been because John knows that with Randy, he's a better person, a stronger one, a sweeter one and John wants that feeling to remain.

That feeling of touching Randy's skin and feeling him shiver under his touch because the coldness turns into the link between them as they embrace each other and even with no words out of their mouths, they know that they want each other's hearts beating so steadily and they want to be alive and they're just waiting to be reincarnated from then nightmare that they're in and they just wait to be alive again and they just wait until they can breathe a real breath.

Randy's slipping away from him and in his place, there's a dead corpse and he's afraid of losing Randy, and he wants nothing but to save Randy from falling into the deep hole that he's in and he doesn't know if their angel wings can save them now and they don't know if they can fly anymore and they don't know if their words mean anything anymore and somewhere along those lines, John just stops asking questions sometimes and just stares into Randy's eyes because they seem to talk.

**I'm gone forever.**

_No, Randy. I need to save you._

**Are you going to save yourself?**

_I don't know how to save myself, baby._

**If you can't take care of my heart, how are you going to save me…?**

And sometimes, John would ask him questions like "how are you?" or "did you eat anything?" but he always knows the answers by looking at Randy's crushed eyes and at his now paper flesh, so thin and painful to look at, Randy barely eats and sometimes, John finds himself having to inject IV fluids inside of Randy's body and he has that day refilling into his head—_the phone slips from his hand crashes on the floor Randy's eyes crash too John just can't save him and_—

_I want Randy back._

**He's lost.**

_Can I find him?_

**He's lost in a world he can't understand…**

__

_**I go back to the places we've been**__**  
**__**It feels like you're still there**_

Randy's in the hotel room and his eyes can't see and his heart can't beat and his body can't move and he's just dead and he knows it and he's like a zombie and he knows that he's just here to watch until he just can't watch anymore and he's dead on the floor and the remembers John, memories that seem so long ago, memories that he can't erase—

**The park, John refusing to let go, the painting, the cold realization—the match, the hate, the love, the blurry images that always get mixed up in his head, the Miz laying on the floor, the words of pain, the nothingness that's bubbling through them—the beach, the 'X' mark, the proposal, the water, the icy coldness that doesn't escape—**

Randy Orton thinks he can find himself.

But he's so lost inside of the shadows that he's created in his mind and he doesn't think that he can escape them.

Randy feels as if Randy Orton still resides inside of him, he feels as if The Legend Killer and the Viper and just plain him is still inside of him but he doesn't know how to wake from this nightmare.

_**I live all those moments again**__**  
**__**wishing you were here**_

In his head, Randy's trying to make that perfect scene in the park, the laughter, the love, the attraction and the shadows are stopping him from smiling. He remakes the match scene in his head and he wants to feel angry but he feels so weak that he can't feel the blood boiling through him. He remakes the proposal in his head and he wants to run over to John but he just can't move from his place and he knows that he just wants John back.

Randy's lost.

And in his place is a stranger.

A stranger John hopes turns into Randy again but Randy just can't escape and John knows that and John would stick by this stranger's side just because Randy's battling to get to John.

Randy's world's just dead.

Randy's just too lost to be found.

Randy's just numb.

__

_**Since you're gone**__**  
**__**There is a lonely heart**_

John passes by the park and he sits down on the bench and he waits for Randy to come around but he won't and he feels so sleepy that he'd fall right then on the bench because of the sleepless night that he spent holding that broken boy, holding him, trying to help Randy, trying to comfort him, trying to find him but not succeeding at all and it's all so understandable but John wants to know why. He wants to know why.

John flips through Randy's phone and he knows the exact date that's Randy's entire world had crashed and burned into nothing and he sees the caller "Samantha Orton" and he grits his teeth and he just doesn't need anymore reason and he knows what's going on.

Randy wants Sam back and betrayal seeps through John's body and he shuts the phone down and he knows that he feels in pain and he wishes he could've at least said goodbye to Randy before he's faded into this stranger that he'd never seen before and—he could've said goodbye—

That's the only thing that's barreling through his head and he stays there and he sleeps on the bench and he doesn't even notice that it's freezing outside and his thoughts have always been on Randy Orton and he knows that he has to confront Randy tomorrow and he knows that now even John's world is as gray as ever.

_What'd you expect, John? You know that no one can really love you. You're just a disgrace_. Just a disgrace, he remembers the words so clearly that they haunt him right now. Just a disgrace, those are the words of his first girlfriend when he had turned fifteen. Just a disgrace, those are the words that he'd thought he was as he turns seventeen years old. Just a disgrace, the words that are marked in his head as he turns twenty one and he still can't maintain a relationship. Those are the words he has in his head for most of his life and he knows it.

_You're just a disgrace…_

_**Since you're gone**__**  
**__**Nothing is like it was**_

_Randy? Randy?! Where are you?_

**I'm in the darkness.**

_Can I help you out?_

**Not without getting scarred.**

_I don't care._

**I care, John…I care…you can't be here. This world's only darkness and no light. This world's the opposite of you. I can't let you…I won't…**

__

_**There are memories all over the place**__**  
**__**Bringing it back all so clear**_

Randy just knows that John won't give up those memories so easily and he knows that those moments are the best part of his life and as John walks through the doorway that morning, eyes crushed, face pale, hair dull—Randy thinks that he's looking into a mirror and he just wants to scream but this body just doesn't move anymore.

This body's all rigid and all cold and all frozen.

Randy's just watching and he knows that he can rarely move and he just wants to scream his lungs out but he just doesn't know how to open his mouth anymore, knowing about her, knowing about her lifeless body, knowing that it's his fault and knowing that he could have the same and knowing that this'll crush John more than anything.

"Randy? I need to know, babe. I need to know. What did Sam tell you? What did she tell you that day?" and John's voice's so filled with hurry and anticipation and Randy knows that John just can't take it anymore and this is his limit's reached and that the glass is falling and crashing and Randy can't do anything about it.

Randy tries to speak and he opens his mouth but the words don't flow out and he's just so dizzy from memory of that phone call and he feels acid knots in his stomach, burning his body—**just let me die**—

John takes the phone and calls Sam and he just wants Randy to protest but he doesn't and he just wants to know what's going on and as Sam picks up the phone, her perky voice sickens John to the stomach because he knows that she's all happy and sweet and Randy's all miserable and broken and tattered and in shatters and she doesn't give a damn.

"Sam? What the hell did you tell Randy?"

"Oh, that," she spat out the words like Randy's a possession and the venom in her voice makes acid knots in John's stomach and nausea hits him and it's all so clear and nothing's vague and he grits his teeth and disgust's over washing him and swallowing him whole.

"What he'd done to our daughter."

"That's Triple H's fault, not—"

She laughs and her laugh's so acid that it runs down John's throat and everything burns inside of John's body. "I didn't mean that! That's why I filed a divorce. I meant about the cancer."

"Alanna has cancer?" John asks and his voice's weak and he knows that hearing that makes Randy's eyes blink and his eyes want to fill with tears but his body's not letting him do anything anymore and Randy just tries to move but he doesn't know how to anymore and **why should you move? No one will care. Just stay there and die for all they notice**.

"Yes, apparently, it's genetic," John hates that word and fear suddenly overthrows him and terror burns rough him and horror rises up in his throat. "Genetic from your side?"

"No, Randy's. He'd done this to our daughter. He never told me about it." And the look in Randy's eyes makes John know that Randy didn't even know about it and as she hangs up the phone, John's phone slips away from him and he leans down towards Randy. "You loved Alanna."

His eyes speak for him. **I love her. I still do**.

"Genetic? Did you get yourself tested?"

Randy shakes his head, it's slow and almost motionless and fear overtakes him and he holds onto Randy's shoulder and he suddenly thinks of all the tattoos all over his body, all that chemicals in the needles, he could've—John's heart strikes with fear as he takes Randy in his arms, so easily and runs out of the door and he doesn't care who's staring.

_**Remember all of those days**__**  
**__**wishing you were here**_

__

_**  
(**__**All those lonely nights)**_

**(John, I'm so alone)**

_(You're just lost)_

_**  
(**__**I gotta fight for you, yes I do)**_

**(Save me)**

_(I'm trying, Randy, just hold on)_

_**  
(**__**Yes I do)**_

**(There's not much left in me)**

_(Then I'll give you what I have)_

_**(**__**Since you're gone)**_

**(Take me away from the shadows)**

_(I'll cover you with mine)_

_**(**__**There is a heart that bleeds)**_

**(I'm bleeding)**

_(I'm sorry I've cut you)_

_**(**__**Since you're gone)**_

**(Find me)**

_(I want to get lost with you)_

_**(**__**I'm not the man I used to be)**_  
(I'm scared)

(No mask can cover my face anymore)

_**(**__**I follow you steps in the snow)**_

**(The white covers my pain)**

_(The white covers my disgrace)_

_**  
(**__**The traces disappear)**_

**(Nothing's left of me)**

_(I'll give you all of me)_

_**  
(**__**We know what we've lost when it's gone)**_

**(I want you)**

_(I need you)_

_**  
(**__**I'm wishing you were here)**_

**(Please, save me)**

_(Please, let me get lost in him)_

__

Randy lays on the hospital bed and he's asleep and the doctors tell John that the test results are coming soon but John suggests that they should keep him here and the moment that Simply Priceless know that Randy's in the hospital, they rush and they don't seem to care about anything as they stare at their weak and fragile and once strong and once a leader friend Randy Orton and no words escape Cody or Ted's mouths as they sit down and watch him sleep.

In the darkness, as Randy battles through it, he hears the same voices in his head, but they're barreling with hope and at the presence of his friends, he knows he's not falling down if he tries to fly.

But he needs John to help him fly.

He needs John to embrace him.

Body. Soul. Heart.

All one.

_**All those lonely nights**__**  
**__**I gotta fight for you, yes I do**__**  
**__**Yes I do**_

**Whoa, that is long. 7 pages long.**

**Next one. '**_**Insanity'**_**.**

**Summary: When John realizes that Randy has cancer, he goes insane.**


	12. Insanity

**The next depressing one.**

**It's short but only because the last one was so long! :D**

__

Insanity

__

John waits for the results as he touches Randy's face and Randy's asleep now and he doesn't move at all under the hot touch, as John's finger traces around Randy's slightly parted mouth, he feels the tattered lips and feels the dryness that's between the flesh and his fingers go to his chest, where there were white strings that John watched in languish and pain and agony as Randy had torn them off, bleeding and torn, he didn't care and he doesn't now.

John's face's crumpled with disgust at himself for not doing anything about this, for not taking him to the hospital sooner and as the doctor comes back with the results, John's entire world crashes down when he says those few simple words. "The test was positive for cancer."

And John doesn't need anything else to break down, holding Randy's sleeping body, his besotted tears fall down and Randy's body absorbs it all like it's nothing and he's scared of Randy, what will he say when he wakes up? He can't stay like this when he hears those words. John promises to himself that he'll make Randy's days the best days of his life and he's not letting him go easily and he's not letting him get hurt easily.

And as Randy wakes up, John takes his hand, grips it tight and tells him "they'll let you go out" and he takes in Randy's shoulder, tight grip, kissing his forehead, watching as Randy moves in pain under his touch and John steps back, seeing Randy move in anguish and agony and torment.

John moves back to Randy, holding his hand, and gripping tightly on it, making Randy slowly open his eyes to face John's face and the two eyes meet, sweet pain fluttering through both their eyes and Randy doesn't need to say anything and John finds himself stiffen.

He can't bring himself to say those words. "You—no," he tells himself, gripping onto Randy's hand, feeling him squirm underneath his touch. "No," he repeats. "No, this isn't happening."

He sees as Randy bats his eyelashes and those eyes looking at him so helplessly, so very lost _can I find you? Can you find me?_ He wants to hear Randy's voice and he wants to see life springing into his dead eyes and he wants his bleeding heart to be stitched but he just doesn't know how to.

Randy goes back to his sleep, slipping in and out of reality, probing the darkness at the back of his head, the casket he's supposed to lie in **I hear him. I hear his voice** but John's such a vague voice at the back of his head that nothing's clear anymore.

John grips tighter around Randy's hand and as the doctor walks in, his anger's pouring out and he can't really hide it. "You think this is funny, huh? Is he really that sick? He can't be!"

"He is," the blonde Auzzie responds.

"Is?! He can't be! He just can't be!" John's hand grips tighter around Randy's and soon, Randy's eyes flutter open and he lets out a moan of pain and John's face twist to Randy and his cramped, tattered hand and John finally lets go. "Oh, I'm sorry…don't worry, Randy. Everything will be alright."

_Why do I break everything?_ John asks himself, staring down at Randy as he tries to go back to sleep, eyes still half open, eyes still filled with horror and reeled pain and all John can do is watch. _Why?!_

John bites his lip and sits down onto the chair, trying to push his insanity at the back of his head, trying not to just go in rage and insanity jus because Randy's—no, he just doesn't want to think of it. He can't. And he's suddenly sorrowful that this all started as a bet.

_Why do I break everything…?_

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**Next one.**

'_**Misfortune'**_.

**Summary: John takes Randy rock climbing with him, Ted and Cody so it'll be easier to break the news of Randy's cancer (and as an attempt to cheer him up) but the problem is Ted's hitting on Randy and John gets angry. Another problem? They both don't know that Randy's engaged.**


	13. Misfortune

**EDIT: Sorry, had computer problems.**

**Next one as I've told you.**

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Misfortune

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Randy feels as if he's just woken up from a ten million year sleep **have I ever been awake?** as he watches John rock climb and Ted's right next to him while John tries to encourage Cody to lighten the thick atmosphere that's around them by tagging along with him during the rock climbing session and as Ted twists his head to look at Randy, a smile creeps on Ted's face.

"Hey, Randy, you know we can go out anytime? I have a way to make you happy." Ted says. His voice's thick with seduction and when he notices that Randy's still as motionless as ever, Ted's eyes turn into that of concern as he twists his head to look at an angry faced John Cena.

"Excuse me?" Ted asks John, standing up and fixing his jeans, eye-level with John and Randy looks away, tired and aloof from the world around him, and he just wants to fall back to sleep where he can hide himself in the lost blackness.

"You were hitting on Randy?"

"Yes, have a problem?" Ted crosses his arms and staring straight at John's face and as John throws a punch at Ted's stomach and his thoughts are of 'doesn't he know that Randy's engaged?' and realization overflows through John's head, hitting him, spiraling around his head as he sees Ted's annoyed eyes as he takes Randy's arms and help him up, rubbing his hand on Randy's back in comfort and console and reassurance as John's mouth gapes open.

"I—hey, Ted, I'm sorry—"

Ted steps towards John and they're both staring at each other with concerned eyes for Randy, angry eyes, dark eyes and they don't know if anyone can break their glare.

"Sorry?" Ted snaps. "You hit me! After I thought you were turning into a good guy. What am I? Your toy? And for what? Just because I turned all hot and sweet on a single man who happens to be my friend?"

"No. It's just that—"

"Guys…" Cody starts.

John gives Ted another punch in his right shoulder, making him fall down to the ground and Ted's face burn red and John steps back _I'm too dangerous for anyone, aren't I?_ John stares down at Ted as he tries to stand up, clutching his hurt stomach and as John's eyes dart to Ted's face, "hey, I'm sorry, man. Just sorry. I know what you mean. I'm not the good guy. Just the bad guy."

"Guys!" Cody's voice cuts through the air and they both look back at the boy to see that he's holding Randy, out of breath Randy who can't breathe to save his life **did** **I ever breathe?** And as Randy's hands grip tightly around Cody's weak arms, John and Ted race towards them. John takes Randy's body in his hands, feeling the now weak boy's short and sharp and hanging on for his life's breath and his eyes are swirling with pain and agony and desolation and twisting with torment and torture and he just wants to take a real breath.

"The doctor said this was normal." John says.

"Doctor? Why didn't you tell us anything about this?" Cody exclaims, hesitating, staring at awe and terror and panic at the out of breath Randy in John's arms as John kisses Randy's forehead. "Aren't you worried?"

"No," John's voice's slightly shaky. "Randy has AML. Acute myeloid leukemia."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Ted asks and his eyes are serious and from the look on John's face, Ted backs down and looks back at the slowly recovering Randy as John grips tight around his frame.

Ted takes Cody's hand, gripping tight, pain enduring their eyes as they stare at Randy's plastered hurt face and as John looks back at Randy, he's asleep and clinging onto his shirt **I'm never awake**.

"We…I…" Ted starts. "I'm sorry, John." He looks down, walking towards Randy and touching his face, feeling him sweat, and he looks away, with agony filling Ted's eyes.

"There's just one thing I don't understand," Ted suddenly breaks the grieving silence and his voice's grave and pulled with pain and twisted with agony, "why were you angry w-when I hit on Randy?"

"Because—"John remembers the bet, "secretly married" and even though he knows it's silly, 'because it'll hurt you if he dies on you," and John feels that way as he grips tightly around Randy's body and brings him close to his built muscles.

_Why do I keep breaking people?_ Ted's eyes swell up with pain. "I…I swear I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Let's take him back to his," John wants to say 'our', 'hotel room."

"Let him stay with us. We just can't let him get hurt like that and I don't want none of us not knowing about it when he really gets hurt," John nods his head. "Besides, no one likes to be alone."

"Yeah," John agrees.

Pain. Hurt. Comfort.

Misfortunate.

_Just a black cat for them, aren't you John?_

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**Next one? '**_**Smile'**_**.**

**Summary:** **John does a romantic gesture late at night as an attempt that Randy will smile or at least show a sign of satisfaction. Can John make Randy happy again?**


	14. Smile

**EDIT: now that I fixed that. Let me post this as well.**

Gone to the 14th one.

I'm satisfied.

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Smile

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John's forgotten how Randy smiles.

It's like a long forgotten memory and now whenever he stares at the past pictures, the smile that's painted on Randy's face seems to make him into a stranger because he's so used to seeing this broken up dark side shattered side of Randy Orton that he doesn't know if Randy can ever be happy again and all he wants is Randy's happiness and suddenly, all he cares about is Randy Orton's happiness and all he wants to see is that gleeful smile that'll change the word and open up a possibility for recovery.

It just doesn't work that way and John never really knew that until that night, as Randy sleeps around three o'clock because most of the time, he's had this pulsing paining headache that he can't shake off and now that it's dimmed for a while, he can finally rest his bloodshot eyes to escape into the black surreal darkness at the back of his head and as John buys around fifty red roses and arranges them around the room that night and_I just don't want to break anyone anymore _and as he lays back next to Randy, he runs his fingers on Randy's neck, feeling him as he breathes from underneath him, quick and nauseous, trickled with fear and horror.

Randy's eyes slowly open up to face John's face and they're staring at each other and the scent of the now dead and welted roses make Randy want to throw up and he knows what it smells like and feels like and looks like around here in the room like a graveyard with shattered promises and broken hearts and nothing's left in here but memories of death and blood and distorted nightmares and as John notices the nausea and queasiness and unsettledness sloshing and swishing and splashing onto Randy's stomach as Randy scrambles to the other side of his bed, on John's lap, throwing up in the bin.

Still feeling sick, with acid burning at his throat, Randy's head swirls with dizziness as he tries to sit up but falls back down onto John's lap, and John strokes Randy's back, feeling John's shirt stick to his body and as Randy breathes in and out, and Randy clutches tightly onto John's sweaty jeans and he feels John's hot breath onto his neck as Randy looks up at him and their eyes lock again and we're just so dead in this room now.

And as John moves close to Randy to kiss, pressing his lips onto Randy's mouth but feeling him breathe into his mouth makes John uneasy inside as he clasps onto Randy's shirt to bring him closer and as John notices that Randy's not kissing him back at all or pulling away, just like kissing a puppet _we're all so dead in this world now_ and as John pulls away, lifting Randy's head so that they're both eye level, John feels Randy start shaking and shivering, wide eyes looking at him, scared little huge glassy eyes _glass always breaks_.

John rubs Randy's back, knowing that he can't make him happy, he looks out into the world around him.

There is no world.

Just broken pieces of the world.

_So very dead in this room right now._

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**Sorry for the confusion.**

**This stuff happens to me all the time.**

**Well, I've had this computer for at least...since 2003.**

**:P**

**Sam**


	15. Silence

**Okay, since because of the chapter confusion and I really want to make a 15th chapter. Here it is. :D**

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Silence

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Randy's blue eyes circle around the road and he knows that it's the first time he's been out in a long time and people are staring at him, little boy who doesn't know what he's doing or where he's going, just so very lost in the darkness that's towering over him at the back of his head and he feels like crying his eyes out when he sees a little baby girl with blue eyes **Alanna, you want Alanna back** and he knows it as he slips back, seeing the wide blue eyes look at him **there was fear in her eyes, she was so very scared of you**.

Everywhere he looks, his past's haunting him and every time he breaths, he knows he should be dead and he's just lucky to be alive and he's just so lucky to be able to look right now and even if everything's all dead, he can still see it all and breathe it all and he just wants to be asleep forever but it's like he's stuck into a puppet's body and all he can do is watch throughout this entire thing and everything just seems so hard to do and everyone just walks by, passing, not knowing and when Randy bumps into Ted, holding onto his teammate's shoulder and looking at Ted straight in the eyes, Ted looks down.

"Hey, Ran, I'm sorry. I really am." Randy doesn't say anything and Ted's just used to that as Ted steps back and Randy walks alongside of his tag team partner and as Ted crosses the streets along with him, Randy stops when he feels as if someone's following them and Ted stops as well after realizing that his friend's paranoid as Randy's eyes scan the world around him and as Randy has that feeling again, Ted starts shaking as they run off and when Ted realizes that the silence engulfs them when they're off, running off into who knows where and they stop when they realize that they're at a dead end.

"Oh Teddy," a voice coos and Randy makes a note that it's a male's voice and as Randy holds onto Ted's shoulder as if for protection for his little friend, Randy's head pounds and swirls and as Ted looks back in fear and terror and horror at the people that are following him and it's so dark in the night as Randy's head kills him and he can't make out the voices or the faces and they don't know how it ends this way but it does and there's the sound of a gunshot all of a sudden and all Randy can see and feel and hear is Ted.

Ted lies, blood bleeding from his head, eyes threatening to roll back in his head, and Randy's world's spinning and spinning and spinning as he drops to his knees, rubbing Ted's hair to feel the sweat that's clustered there from when it registers to Ted's head who those boys are and as two flashlights whirl to where they are, John and Cody are there and everyone's just staring at the bleeding unconscious Ted DiBiase in fearful Randy's arms.

Silence seeps in.

Silence engulfs them all.

Destroys them.

Silence just speaks more than words could ever.

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**As short as that was, it's also a big twist.**

**Big twists are always short chapters… Oh well.**

**Next one. '**_**Questioning'**_**.**

**Summary: Cody, Randy and John question Ted and for why they were after him.**

**Uhhh…yeah, angst all over.**


	16. Questioning

**The 16th chapter! Yay!**

**;)**

**ADD: **Underlined** is Ted. For other chapters, **_**Bold and italicized **_**is Cody.**

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Questioning

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Ted's lying on the bed of a hotel room and his head's been bandaged and he slowly opens his blue eyes to see the concerned faces of his friends but he doesn't understand why they're so concerned and everything's so hazy and unclear and surreal and soon, his memory over washes him and he remembers the sneaky "Oh Teddy" from the man and he remembers the sound of the gunshot and then and then—nothing…just blackness…

Ted looks around and when he notices Randy's scared little eyes, a reflection of Cody's turquoise eyes and John's similar baby blue eyes and he just wants to cup Cody's face and tell him it's going to be fine and he wants to cry to Randy and John but as Ted tries to move, he feels John's hand weigh him back down and Ted grits his teeth in the pain that burns through him.

"Ted, are you okay?" Cody's cold hand presses against Ted's forehead, feeling the boy's heat transfer through him, quick and it hits him with a bang, he's so hot and he's so tattered and torn that Cody practically jumps away from Ted. "Are you okay, Ted?" he repeats the question because he doesn't think that Ted had heard him.

"I'm fine," Ted tries to sound confident but it comes out fearful and loud and as Ted tries to move again, he feels John's hand weighing him down once more.

"Who were they, Ted? Why would anyone do this to you?" John asks and his voice's thick and solid and hard with concern and as he sits down beside him on a chair and holds onto Ted's hand and looks at the bandaged boy with intensity and confusion and horror.

"I've known them for a long time," Ted replies and looks at Cody and Randy and he knows that his teammates are so very confused and as Ted sucks his breath, he lies his head back towards his shoulder, tired and drained and worn out. "It's a long story."

"Well, we're not going anywhere," John says and Ted sighs, slinking into his pillow and finally, glancing back at his confused would do anything for him teammates, he turns to John and nods his head.

Ted opens his mouth and he's trying to get his words out and then closes it and he has his own memories over wash him in a split second and as he looks back at John, he nods his head and bites his bottom lip. "Okay." His voice's softer, more fearful now.

"When I was 16, I just assumed like I was like everyone else. One day, I was flipping through one of my English books at Biology before the bell rang and I landed on a page with a picture of a child drowning in water and I felt bits of pieces of my clogged memory coming back to me. Suddenly, everything was cold blue and deep black and I felt like I was suffocating and dying—I screamed.

"When I was around 6, my father had made me undergo through a 'DiBiase tradition' in which I had to face my biggest fear and in that case, it was water. At eight o'clock at night, he drove me over to a pool. No one was there and no one knew we were here and I felt excited but at the same time, I was horrified. He told me not to tell my mother and I promised I wouldn't. So I stared down at the water, thinking what was the worst that could happen? My father was there, right?

"After about half an hour, I was still in my clothes and didn't change in my swim ones. I was just so terrified of having to jump in. I thought my dad would understand but he grabbed me by my shoulders and threw me into the water. I was suffocating and my _father_ was watching his son _choke_. When I found my way out, spitting water, and trying to breathe, my dad acted like it was nothing and after a while, so did I."

"What?!" John exclaims, standing up, looking at Ted's eyes and noticing that it's the truth and he wouldn't lie about something like that, not with the emotions that had been stirring in his voice, betrayal, horror, anguish—and as John sits down again, he looks up to find Cody and Randy with wide eyes and opened mouths. "Continue."

Ted bites his lower lip and finds it hard to continue now that they've stopped him but finishes anyways just so hard. "When I realized this at 16, I was traumatized. It was like I was "labeled". Like there was something really wrong with me. I pretended like it was nothing but then it shattered my confidence. I was always happy and confident but the memory had triggered a depression in me. I felt as if I was abnormal and could never be normal ever again.

"Then, there was Derek Blake. Derek was smooth, different, and he didn't care for what anyone told him and when he sat with me in lunch time, I didn't care for what he'd say. I just wanted to be alone. He noticed my depression and told me that he could help me. Later on, he pushed me up to a wall and kissed me, hard and since I thought no one will ever like me, I thought that he was the one for me. I would do anything for Derek but I didn't think that he'd be the same for me. I was just so into him that I didn't realize the bad things about him. I knew that my obsession with him was just a distraction from feeling and being lonely.

"Later, Derek invited me over to a cult to seal the deal. I was about 18 years old and I wanted to try it. I felt like it was a good idea even if my stomach was knotting acid. Later on, when Derek had taken me over to his cult, I realized that they had to give me tests before I could be in. I didn't want to go back to my depression state and Derek knew that as much as I did. I didn't want to break the confidence that I worked so hard to build up again. I didn't want to be broken because I couldn't do a few tests.

"It was horrible. All of the tests. I was isolated from all my family and they made me feel like I was too worthless to be with anyone—just anyone. No one really noticed I was gone for a month. I felt invisible and dead. Like no one would care if I really was dead. Derek started pressuring me to do things right, he'd hit me so much that I'd black out. I started living on the streets with him because I just felt like no one needed or wanted me.

"Whenever the cult would make me do things, like drink alcohol to such a huge amount, I'd black out or they'd make me sleep with one of them. Sometimes, I didn't care. Sometimes, I'd still scream. But what really woke me up was when Derek had to cut me with a razor in front of the water and even though I could feel the pain, I didn't care—then Derek pushed me in the water. Derek, of all people, knew how scared I was of it and now, water and blood, it was like I had just woken up from a deep sleep and I knew that I wanted nothing to do with them.

"All they'd say is that I was going to pay for this. I didn't believe that they could do anything more horrifying than they had right now. When I came back home, all bloodied and cut, my parents had me bandaged and taken to a hospital to see if I've gotten any infections. I finally felt like I was safe. But I couldn't help but worry that they'd do something about me… and today…" he stopped, knowing that his friends know the rest of the story.

"Those jerks," John mumbles under his breath, looking once again at the tattered Ted. "Do you think you'll be okay, Ted?"

Ted shakes his head, "you all! They've seen Randy! They'll think he's my boyfriend or something and they'll hurt him. Maybe even—"Ted trembles at the thought of them killing him and tears spill from his eyes and as Cody holds onto to Ted's shoulders in an effort to calm him down, Ted sucks in breaths and hold onto Cody's hand. "I'm sorry…"

"We should call the police," Cody suggests, still trying to calm Ted down who instantly looks at him and shakes his head. "Why not, Teddy?"

"Because they've been running from the police from years. They have a few tricks up their sleeve and calling the police would just make them angrier. I'm not surprised if one of them is stalking us. I can't let you guys get hurt for a mistake I made." Ted responds, standing up but then falling back down in pain and as Cody holds onto his shoulders once again.

"Any suggestions?" John asks, and then he looks at Randy who's just as blank as John is and as John looks back down onto Ted, Randy sits down beside Ted, touching Ted's face in comfort and console and soothe.

"You can leave me…all they want is me…" Ted stammers.

"No!" John exclaims. "Ted, you saw what they did to you. We can't let them _destroy_ you!"

"It's either me or all of us." Ted explains with a shaky voice. "Just go."

"Ted, we are not leaving you here to die. Randy and I are going to go get some food while Cody, you and Ted book two hotel rooms for all of us, next to each other, please so that we can all be in contact with each other if something happened." John instructs and as Cody nods his head, John and Randy move out of the hospital room and now that they're all alone from Ted and Cody, John notices that Randy's shaking as John holds onto Randy's shoulder, feeling him shake and shiver just **hurts so very much** and as John leans down to Randy's face, he notices the tears that are blurring Randy's vision.

"Randy?" John whispers, holding onto Randy's shoulder to steady him, feeling him shake from underneath him. "Are you okay, Randy?"

"No," Randy finally speaks and his voice's cracked and broken and so are his eyes.

"Randy…" he reaches his other hand to touch Randy's and when he looks up at Randy, the tears are spilling so hard that Randy doesn't even look like Randy anymore.

"Just leave me alone, John." Randy's lip quivers and his voice's slightly colder now and John finds himself letting go of Randy's shoulders and it all just hits John in a wave of pain—Randy has cancer, Randy's losing Alanna and he's losing Ted and Cody and maybe even himself—and as John looks back, Randy's gone and John feels panic arise as he runs out, looking around and scanning for Randy.

No.

Nothing.

_You really do break everyone, John._

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**Next one. '**_**Blood'**_**.**

**Summary: ("Oh, aren't you just the sweetest thing?" Derek breathes on Randy's face, hot breath.) John finds Randy—hurt and bloodied.**

**;) Sam**


	17. Blood

**Sad one. Real sad one.**

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Blood

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"_Aren't you pretty, little boy?"_

It's all blood around here.

All blood.

All death.

Scents of horror and terror and agony and fear and desolation all twisted and turning into the air, strong scent and as John looks around this place, with a flashlight in his hands, the only sprang of light around in this lifeless place and he stops when he hears a moan and the flashlight just seems to slip off of his hands as he walks towards the stranded alley and he just hopes that it's not Randy and the terror's shooting up and down his spine as he leans down to the bloodied cluttered body and as he looks at the glint of blue in his eyes, he knows that it's Randy and he grips Randy tightly around his waist, making him cringe in pain.

"_Don't move."_

It's all blood.

All so much blood.

"Oh Randy," John starts, squeezing his fiancée's body with care and terror and he feels Randy reach out to wrap his arms around John's neck and they're both squeezed together in this horrifying mess and John feels Randy panting from under him, just so horrifying as John runs his fingers through the soft sweet flesh of Randy's face and the scent's suffocating and Randy's body's cold and their sounds are as broken as shattered as the world they live in and they taste bitterness all around.

It's all shattered.

All so many pieces on the floor.

"Randy, please talk to me," John says, rubbing his fingers along Randy's chest, and he notices that his t-shirt's as tattered as tattered can be and his pants are ripped with spots of dried dark blood clinging to it and he notices that one of his shoes are missing and all that makes John happy is that he's alive but so very cluttered into pieces.

"_Oh, aren't you just the sweetest thing?" Derek breathes on Randy's face, hot breath._

It's all haunted memories.

All broken memories.

Randy looks at John, gripping onto John, his other half and always will be, the only one who can make Randy's heart work and they're both clinging to each other, horror and terror, both sweaty but feeling the coldness of the late night and both are panting, trying to breathe life into each other's empty bodies.

_There are guns and knives and this is such a horror movie…_

It replays.

Over and over.

"Randy?" John pants, his hotter breath on Randy's neck, as the out of this world Randy remembers those horrid memories that had made him get scared of Cody and Ted and where they are and as if he could read minds, John starts. "I'm fine. Cody and Ted are fine. They're back at the hotel."

_Blood pours, sweat runs, and the scent of death and desolation hang so promptly in the air… "Where's Teddy?!"_

It's all terror.

All fear.

Randy finally looks up and meets John's eyes and he finds himself in John's ocean, drowning into the pieces of his past, drowning in him and he opens his mouth and that's all it takes for John to rub his back, trying to soothe the broken little Orton from his heart break and as Randy finally lets the words flow out of his mouth, they're broken and weak and strained with the agony that fills him whole. "I'm sorry…"

It's all over now.

**So why is it all still haunting me?**

"Randy…oh no," John holds on tighter and the love hurts and they're still staring at each other's eyes and trying to find themselves and they're still so very lost and crumpled inside of each other and as Randy touches John's shoulders, feeling the sweat dry and their souls finally meeting and the horror seems to be over when he's around but it's just not, it's all blood and dried cluttered blood all around and he just wants to wash it off and he wants to forget but he can't. "I'm sorry, Randy."

It's all over now.

**So why is it all still burning in me?**

__

**What? I like angst.**

**Next one. '**_**Rainbow'**_**.**

**Summary: As John and Randy lay in the beach late at night, it starts to rain badly.**

**Angst and fluff.**


	18. Rainbow

**Like I said angst and fluff.**

**I hadn't written fluff in a while so yeah; a little fluffy and cute is just what I need for this story.**

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Rainbow

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It's around three in the morning and no one's around and it's so very cold and Randy and John lay on a towel, looking up at the black sky and Randy feels safer now that John's close by him and John had promised Randy a shower and as John walks towards the cold ocean, with Randy behind him, cold sand beneath them and as John slips inside of the water, Randy looks at him and shakes his head.

"Come on, Ran, nothing's going to happen," John urges him to walk and Randy shakes his head before he grabs onto Randy by his leg and pushes him inside of the water and they're both clinging on each other's bodies, looking at their eyes and John pushes Randy inside of the water, making the Legend Killer bob his head upwards in less than five seconds and the blood's gone almost so instantly.

Randy wraps his arms around John's neck and they're still staring at each other's eyes, so lost into their own little world as they freeze in the icy cold water and as John's fingers slip towards Randy's chest, tracing 'J' on his chest and as Randy looks up, "because I'm locked inside of you." John responds.

"You're such a sap," Randy laughs, bringing him closer so that they're face to face, Randy's mouth only inches away from John's and as John leans down to kiss Randy, he stops and grins, shaking his head.

"I didn't ask for your permission, Randall Keith Orton," John says, remembering that kiss in Randy's room and as Randy remembers it as well, he laughs sweetly, making John's heart light up with joy as Randy's lips curve into a smile.

And John doesn't think he's seen anything more beautiful in his life _you're not too broken anymore and because of me?_ He knows that he has to keep Randy this way. He doesn't know what he'd do to himself if he breaks him now that he's slowly recovering from past wounds and the last thing he wants to do is cut deeper into the hole of Randy Orton's misery.

"You have my permission," Randy says and as John presses his lips to Randy's and for the first time, their real kiss of passion and love and as Randy pulls away, they stare into each other's eyes, feeling the love burn and the lust regain and as Randy presses his head into John's chest, they feel a drop of rain on their heads and they look up to find drops and drops of rain falling down, thunder and lightening follows them around and John grips tight onto Randy's body.

And as another strike of thunder claps, John holds onto Randy's body so hard that Randy feels like John's squeezing life out of him and as Randy takes a soft breath, John sees the pain in Randy's face and he lets go of John before John's face becomes plastered with horror. "Why do I always break things?"

Randy's body feels the rigid cold water splash into his body, harsh and hard water, too strong to be safe and as Randy looks back at John, still so very horrified of what's to come and John suddenly looks around as a spark of thunder strikes fear into John's heart and he grips tightly around Randy's body again, making Randy feel like suffocating when the boy pulls down onto John's t-shirt and being so scared, John let go of Randy's body, throwing him inside of the water.

John notices this and dunks himself inside of the water and looks around for his little Orton fiancée and rushes over to him as he grabs Randy by his hands and pulls him upwards and the rain falls down so rapidly, droplets of fire on their face and body and Randy's hands wrap around his neck again, trying to breathe once again and trying to get rid of the horror of feeling like he's drowning to death in front of John's eyes.

"You d-don't," Randy stutters from the water spilling out of his mouth, "break t-t-things, John."

"I broke you. I broke Ted when he tried to make a move on you. I broke him and Cody by telling him that you have cancer and I broke myself. Too many times. I'm not safe to be around you. You'll always get hurt because of me," in his voice, there's disgrace and guilt that Randy pinpoints it oh so easily. And as John rubs Randy's back, feeling the boy's dampness by it and as he and John look at each other once more, Randy looks down at the water.

"I'm always hurt, John. You don't break things. You make everything better." Randy whispers in a soft voice and as Randy looks back up at John, "everyone's dying around me, John."

"I know." John agrees, kissing Randy's earlobe.

"I'm a magnet for death," Randy's voice shakes and it's colder and harder now and John can only watch as Randy swims to shore, standing up with drenched pants and John follows him, in the same pattern, two boys with their shirts off onto the cold sand floor and with their ripped jeans, they walk around the beach alone at night because they want to escape the reality that's always been following them.

As they stand up to see a rainbow and even in the darkness, it's visible and it's like there's light in darkness and God's trying to send them a message as they look back at each other and John's only words are, "can we do this?"

"I want you, John Cena. I want to marry you. I want to be yours forever." Randy says with determination and certainty in his voice as they both exchange another kiss, sweet and hard, love filling them both as they get entangled in their web of affection for one another.

"You've always been mine." John explains as they both look back at the disappeared rainbow and everything's back to normal except for the drenched sand and the two soaked boys.

__

**Technically, this is the first **_**real**_** kiss. **

**I label that as "**_**fluff**_**" in my book.**

**Next one? '**_**Gray'**_**.**

**Summary: As John Cena and Randy Orton start planning for their wedding, a problem arises when John realizes that Randy will question why they couldn't invite Ted and Cody along too. Randy and John have a fight, Randy runs back to Cody and Ted.**

**;) Sam**


	19. Gray

**And the plot twists. All over again.**

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Gray

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The air's thin with coldness.

The place's elegant.

All that John can do is nod his head at the chapel that they're using and then looks back at Randy who also nods his head and they seal the deal and as Randy looks around, admiring the beauty of the place, John can only chuckle and a smirking Randy looks back at him and takes off his hat, running his hand through John's hair in affection and love.

"Ted and Cody will love this," Randy says, looking over the place once more.

"Ted? Cody?" John repeats in confusion and Randy simply nods his head and John shakes his head and looks back down and how he hates the final print of his and Mike's bet. _'Secretly married'_.

"I'm inviting my boys, of course," Randy explains, looking back at John now that he's basically memorized the place in his head. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?" his voice's over the edge at the question and his eyes harden and all John can do is step back slightly because he doesn't want this to go into a match and especially in this place.

"I do have a problem with that," John responds, blinking harshly. "Why do they always have to be with you? Can't this just be me and you?"

"You're joking, right?" Randy asks and his face's plastered with confusion hidden by the rage that's filling him and John only has hidden sorrow behind his mask as they stare at each other. _"You're joking, right?"_ Randy repeats the question, harder, colder, with an edge and it's like they're enemies all over again.

"No." John replies and his voice's with the same edge and his eyes are as hard as Randy's are and Randy only clutches his hands into fists as they stare.

"Damn. You," Randy says and his voice's so angry that his words are in a whisper and they barely go out of his mouth. He starts to walk away but then stops in his position and looks over his shoulder to have a dark smirk on his face, "and you do break everything, Cena. You just broke our future."

John just glares harshly and then nods his head. "And you lose everything, don't you? Well, then you just lost me."

Randy walks out without another word and his body moves steadily and as John looks back, he shakes his head and suddenly, the rage is still there but he doesn't know why and as he walks out after ten minutes, making sure that Randy's gone, he goes in circles, just walking around aimlessly without anyone seeing him _you messed this up real bad, Cena._

He knows that he's messed it up and as he tries to keep a little rage linger in him, he can't and now he's left with emptiness and he knows that he breaks everything and as he looks down at the sidewalk, he knows that he's that little boy who always breaks glassy things and he swears that he could see the glass in Randy's eyes shatter into nothing and he's bleeding and John's just watching and—and—

"This is not my fault. This is his." His voice can't be filled with anger and the fake anger that's supposed to be in his voice is so weak that even he can tell what's under his mask and as John runs his hand through his hair, he realizes that Randy has his hat and as John hides behind the building next to him, he presses his body against the building and he finally lets the stinging tears fall down his face, hot and sticky.

It's twenty two years of love, patience, resistance, pain, agony, horror, friendship, tragedy, that's leaving his eyes right now and his body soaks it up like it's nothing and as he slides down, curling into a ball, knowing that no one's really there to see him break so hard.

"I break everything…" he tells himself, looking up into the gray sky and it's not even hiding its grief _you're the one who's always hiding, bitch_.

"Even my own self…"

John lays his head to his shoulder, trying to find a blue particle in the all gray sky but he can't and he knows what's gray for. Blurry lines. Grief. A mixture of pure and black, darkness and he's falling into that pure darkness that he's looking at and he knows that he's lost his white, his Randy, and now, he's just all black without him, all falling into himself _you don't have a heart to be locked up in, Cena_.

"John Cena…you are _pathetic_…"

He finds white clouds and black blurry lines in the sky, never really together, just pushing away and he bites his lip because the last thing he wants is to push away from Randy Orton and there's now nothing left but a need for Ben and Jerry's ice cream and listening to the same Evanescence music all over again to try and mend his broken heart but he's always been a heartbreaker and he knows that he can't keep it mended_ can you ever stop breaking? Look at Legacy. I think they're your biggest mess yet_.

"So, Mr. Big Shot, what you gonna do now?" he asks himself, his voice's shaky and no emotion is hidden ever again and he's just left all alone right here, hiding his emotions from everyone and that's all it's ever been for ten year old John Cena that no one ever likes and no one will ever like.

__

Randy looks down at Ted and Cody. His boys. Together, they are Legacy and he doesn't know what'll happen if one of them leaves this place and as his boys sleep, all lost into their dreams, all Randy Orton fears is more and more nightmares as he sinks down onto his bed and pulls the sheet over his body and he looks around and everything's so very dark.

And he needs John around.

His 'ORTON' boxers are laid down at the floor, ripped by Cody's dog and he reminds himself to shout at Cody for that and as he flips to the other side, he sees pictures, too many pictures, ripped ones of superstars they hated, John Cena _were_ one of them and now, he _is_ one of them, and as Randy stands up, taking a black marker from the drawer beside him and just by the label that says "_property of John Cena_", he feels like he's going to go insane.

He walks over to the John Cena poster, and with a shaky hand, he draws an 'X' towards his chest and then looks down at the floor, messy with packets of chips and Ted's t-shirts and tabloids, he looks back up at the picture to realizes that the smeared marker can be erased **you break and break, Cena**.

His hand's still shaky when he brings it towards the beginning of the page and he can't take it anymore as he drops the pen from his hand and breaks down into tears and he bites his lower quivering lip and he knows that John's words are as true as ever.

"I lose everything…"

And as he looks down at the pen, not knowing where it disappeared through the clothing, he tries to shuffle his sobs even if he knows that Ted and Cody, if asleep, are had to wake up. He digs his hand through it and he tries to find the pen in the messy pile of clothes and chips and he's happy to find the pen but his smile fades when he realizes that the pen's label which is supposed to say _"property of John Cena" _has _"Cena"_ only know and looking for the rest, he finds the dry label on the floor, refusing to stick back.

He rummages through his drawer, the hand holding the marker still shaking and as he takes out a label, trying to fix it, he places the label with his shaking and lies down on his bed, feeling as if he can't complete this task and as he pulls out a pen, wanting to write the first part of the sentence, he writes **"Randy**".

"**Randy** _Cena"_.

And he falls asleep with the pen close to his heart.

__

**I just love this chapter. **

**I think it's because of the Randy John angst both at once. It's refreshing.**

**Next one? '**_**Fortitude'**_**.**

**Summary: When John sees Randy with Ted and Cody, does he have the courage to say a simple 'hello'? And what's this crazy shadow following them both?**


	20. Fortitude

**Well…um…the chapter. :P What? I like saying stuff.**

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Fortitude

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It's around six in the morning.

The doctor holds onto Randy's forehead and Cody and Ted are close by, standing there oh so rigidly as the doctor steps back and nods his head, telling Randy to open his mouth as the man examines it, Cody and Ted hope for the best as Randy slinks down and try to stop his head from spinning and spinning and spinning but he can't and the room's all dazed and he takes a breath so that he can know that he's alive and not dead.

Randy just feels all dead inside out and he wants to fall asleep and he feels as if the world's dazing in and out, up and down, through and through and he takes another deep breath, and clutching onto his pillow and Cody and Ted lean down towards him, 'hey, Ran, you heard what he said?" Ted asks and there's glee in his voice and Randy's relieved as Ted continues. "You have an 80 percent chance of being okay."

Randy's eyes slowly peel open in shock and he smiles softly at them but his thoughts then flash to John Cena and he shakes his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts of that beautiful, perfect man and his heart crushes into nothing and suddenly, the news of his probable survival makes Randy even more miserable.

He wants John and he doesn't say it and he doesn't want Ted and Cody to think that they're nothing compared to John Cena so he doesn't say a word as they take him towards Costa Coffee for a nice breakfast as celebration and while Ted and Cody discuss on if they've seen anything from Derek's group, and even with good news filling the air, Randy can't help but look outside for John Cena.

He whips his head around.

**You really do lose everything, Orton.**

He's tired of losing everyone.

But he takes what he can get anyways.

__

John Cena's having a horrible day.

He walks down the street with his hands in his pockets, ripped jeans and tired bloodshot eyes that haven't seen sleep in what seems like forever, he feels like he's going to throw up because acid's always in his throat and keeping up his mask is too difficult because the grief and guilt is too overwhelming, knowing that he still has no friends and he's broken a person he loved—yes, loved.

He just wants it to go back that way again.

It's the same way it's always been though, Cena. Why is it so hard?

Because he had to go through his day with haunted memories.

Of Randy's soft lips touching his.

Of the twinkle that shines in Randy's eyes when he's smiling.

Of the way his mask just disappears when Randy's around.

He's ten year old John he's broken John he's sweet John he's just John Cena when he's around him and not that hero that everyone sees, just a normal human being, blue eyes and brown hair and pale flesh that can feel pain and wanted happiness and pursued love and life.

He stops when he sees Randy pressed to the window with coffee runs down his mouth, trickling down and Randy's just so lifeless that he doesn't really care about it and he's just sinking into his miserable life and hollow body and his hollow eyes and pink lips are just so beautiful from where he sees them.

John blinks and feels as if the tears are stinging him but he doesn't cry and he's just staring at the pieces of his past, broken and dulled, stained with his past's blood and he walks towards the halfway open window and looks at him, breathing on Randy's neck but when he feels as if Randy knows that he's there, he ducts down as Randy's head twists and he shrugs his shoulders, seeing nothing.

Randy feels as if he's seeing things as Ted and Cody notice Randy's depression, Cody speaks up before Ted. "Are you okay, Randy?"

Randy looks at Cody's face, and every time he does, he's afraid that something will happen to him since Ted still his head bandaged and he just doesn't want Cody to be hurt as well and he doesn't know if he'll see them later on or if they'll be dead or if he'll be dead—these days, they find themselves saying "goodbye" and "hello" so many times.

Just because every second, every minute they breathe, they can die in.

__

John walks away, feeling as if he's failed. He wants to say "hello", just one hello can spark up his confidence but his confidence is shattered and he doesn't feel like he can after he's said those words to Randy, after he's broken Randy so hard that the pieces are too small to put back together and every time Randy tries to clean up his own mess, he just gets hurt, more and more.

So much for fortitude.

He stops when he feels as if something's following him and when he looks down, there's a shadow there, and he suddenly feels a shiver up and down his spine from coldness of the presence of a body being so close to him.

Coldness.

Burns inside of him.

He turns around and there's nothing there.

Before he's being pushed to the wall, and there are those two hard eyes staring at him as John's mouth slowly parts but the scent…

Oh God…

The scent…

He falls unconscious.

__

Randy lies down onto his bed and looks around to find Ted on the couch, stretched out as always and Cody's half asleep half awake and he sleeps for about two hours, wakes up for two, sleeps for one, and wakes up for four, but currently, he's asleep for a little while and now, Randy's just wide awake and his eyes are looking around and he feels as if someone's here.

Presence.

He stands up and looks around.

Fear.

And he feels two hands wrap around him, gripping tight and Randy feels as if his life's being squeezed out of him as he faints from what feels as if dizziness is burning through his head _fear's all around_.

**oh...so what do you think will happen?**

**you know there'll be a ton of torture.**

**;) Sam**


	21. Vacation

**Finally…I got some time to breathe and make this. 79 to go! 21 done! Just in case you forgot, **_italics_** are John's and bold lines are Randy's.**

**;)**

**It's not too bad actually.**

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Vacation

__

It's all black.

**Twelve year old Randy Orton has his pencil tapping at his desk and his eyes are on his table and his table only and he yawns, so very sleepily and he bites the eraser of his pencil before he lets his head rest on his desk and then out of the corner of his eyes, Randy Orton spots John Cena…in his class? John's too old, three years older, how can he be in the same class—? All of this thoughts emerge together and smash and collide and suddenly, all he can remember is the confusion John's given him when he was ten, the horror that had raked through his body as John's mouth covers his…it's all Randy can remember…his pencil falls down onto the desk as John sits right beside him.**

Vivid colors. Images. So very colorful.

_Fifteen year old John lays back down onto his car and stares at the piece of paper, looking back at Randy Orton, completely not recognizing the twinkle in his eyes, the soft color of his brown hair, the paleness of his flesh, and he shakes his head, "hey, kid," John says at ease, looking back to see the assignment on the board and then frowning, "you know what love is?" Because John doesn't and he won't and he can't write a freaking essay about it and he knows it._

**Why'd he ask him that? Randy's thoughts are still clashing together and he shakes his head, looking away from John's face, hating his breath being so close, and then shakes his head again to be sure that John's gotten the message and Johns shrugs his shoulder, making Randy tense up harder as he looks away… **

They're waking up and they're entangled into each other and the world around them's all painted leaves and green and blue and nature and as Randy registers that they're in a damn forest and he's right next to John Cena of all people, in his arms once again, and John's eyes slowly flutter and he sees his white clothed Randy, so very innocent little Randy, broken and shattered inside and as John brings him closer to his chest, noticing that his clothing's all black, all hidden masks and horror and unseen pasts, this color is him and he holds onto Randy as his eyes trace around, trying to realize that he's in a forest.

"_Is it like a virus or something?"_

Randy's stretched in John's arms, feeling his cold skin against his hot one, and he wonders what's going on, feeling himself melt in John's arms, he holds on tighter and looks around with his eager blue eyes that shed their confidence and suddenly, they're the only people there and the memories of yesterday flushes in Randy's mind in less than a moment and he realizes that _Cody and Ted were there!_ and he panics on the inside as he tries to stand up but he falls back down onto John's body, hearing a grunt from Cena, Randy's head can only think of Cody and Ted…_they were there with him, dammit…_

"**No, I don't think so."**

Randy's eyes trace around, now knowing what he's looking for but not seeing his tag team partners make Randy's heart explode as he stands up and looks around and John finally stands up along with him, grabbing onto Randy's wrist and jerking him backwards so that Randy's body hits John's. "Where are you going?" John asks and his voice's not angry and just so confused and sleepy and at a loss.

"Ted. Cody. They were with me! I can't let them get hurt just because I'm not there with them," he tries to move but John's locked his arms and is pushing him backwards and as Randy's body blazes with anger, John's body relaxes at ease and he feels Randy trying to break free but John's held him too hard and he knows that he's not going to let Randy go out of his sight _oh, John, aren't you tired of breaking people?_ John tries to ignore the voice inside of his head as Randy finally gives up.

"But-but-"Randy tries to object.

"Listen, we go off on our own, then there's a pretty good chance we're not going to see each other again. If you're looking for them, I have to be there," John instructs and Randy hates being pushed around but he nods his head anyways and soon, they're looking around and they can't find anything and the sun's beating on their backs, sweat and tiredness, all in the air, and all that John wants to do is collapse into sleep again but he won't let Randy get out of his sight, ever.

"_Why so jumpy?"_

Randy's head twists to see John standing there, all so perfectly, so determined and a little piece of Randy's heart breaks for the young man and as he leans down to wipe the sweat off, John's voice collides through Randy's meshed and broken up thoughts, "what if Ted and Cody aren't here? What if it's just us?"

"They wanted Ted. There's a pretty good chance that they're not going to let Cody call the police or anything either so they've got to be here…I just don't understand…" Randy's voice is soft and his eyes are warmer than usual and all that John can do is ponder and the thought that enters his head just makes his heart burst from fear.

"Maybe Cody and Ted are…"

"No!" Randy knows the end of that sentence and he doesn't want to think that way and he falls to his knees and covers his ears as John leans down next to him, holding Randy's waist and bringing him closer. "They can't be…"

"…dead."

"No! They-how-I-Cody-they-oh, Ted-"his thoughts are just as broken in as ever as the horror reels through Randy and he realizes the possibility and as John's hands wrap around the Legend Killer, he could feel his fear and smell the scent and he knows that there's something with them, something around them but all he cares about right now is protecting Randy.

A sound of a stick crumbling.

"Hello, boys," Derek's bitter voice fills the air as he approaches them with black clothing and a silver belt around his hips, "like your little vacation?"

"What did you do to Ted? And Cody?" Randy snaps, feeling as if their lives are the only thing that may be hanging in the balance, John grips tighter, afraid to let go of Randy as Derek's little friends, Travis, Brody, Frank, round around them and they're threatening to rip his Randy away from him and as he sees as Randy's torn out of his hands, and Randy's white clothes are shred into a piece of cloth in John's hand and John's eyes flash dangerously at them.

Travis holds onto Randy as the boy struggles, trying to go back into John's arms, "Legend Killer ain't so tough. Let's go, sweetheart."

It's around two hours later when John's being pushed inside of a cabin made of wood and the floor's dusty and he's all alone and they lock the room and he's curled up into a ball and he shakes his head, trying to keep the tears from spilling off his face, "don't cry, Cena. You're not that weak, are you?" John asks himself.

"You are so weak."

John stares down at his hands, where that little piece of Randy's clothing is ripped out of his hands and he walks towards the drawer, finding an old but effective pen and he looks back down at the piece of cloth…

"**Nothing. It's nothing…"**

"_It's something."_

"**Leave me alone."**

"_Can't…"_

_Realization finally crosses John as he notices the fear behind the blue eyed mask that Randy wears and John's eyes widen and Randy can only flush in pink, shamefully, before looking down at his paper and playing with his pencil, tapping it on his desk again and again, pretending as if John can't see him…"You're that kid, aren't you?"_

_John isn't fooled as his memory over washes him. "Randy Orton?"_

_And as the bell rings, Randy's hand rip his paper and John finds himself seeing as a piece of Randy's paper falls down onto the floor and John stares at the doodle, it looks like a flower, with broken off rose petals and John's smile fades as he realizes that Randy's been doodling on this when he had been talking to John…do I really break everything…?_

Rose petals.

Broken off.

John's pen falls down and he looks down at it, and holds it back into his hands, the little tattered white cloth, just brings back too many painful memories, too many painful thoughts and he blinks, with tears collecting at his eyes but not falling, "I really do break everything I touch."

**Hmm…I like John angst. A LOT.**

**;) Sam**

**Next one? '_Mother Nature'_.**

**Summary: [?? POV] All dead. They're all dead. Why am I still alive? Why am I watching this? It's so cold out here…**

**Yeah, mystery. Just for one chapter but still... you'll be surprised. TRUST ME. lol. Or you'll guess who it is in the middle.**


	22. Mother Nature

**Hmm…yeah, can't keep a secret, can I?**

**:P**

**My biggest twists are always short. Dunno why. I seriously tried to extend this.**

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Mother Nature

__

**?? POV**

All dead.

They're all dead.

Why am I still alive?

Why am I watching this?

It's so cold out here…

I've been stuck here a while and I've been thinking of nothing but the horror that's going to rake through the world and I'm all stuck in this room, all alone, all black, all I remember is a night in blackness and pain and then nothing—where the hell am I? I've been wondering that for a while, too and I'm sorry and I know I've done wrong before but do I really deserve this? Do I really deserve to be in this tortured and mangled web of horror and defeat?

I'm supposed to be happy.

I always used to be happy.

Always with a painted smile on my face, always with those blue eyes that have seen too much pain and have lived in this shattered piece of darkness and I want to go back to the golden palace with the throne and sit on it, and live my reign as the king or whoever I want to be—I just can't understand why they'd do this to me.

What did I do?

I know what I've done but I don't think that they'd be this harsh on me and especially Travis, I didn't think that he'd hurt me into this way and all I want is to get out of here—alive.

I don't think I will.

That's just life.

So painful, isn't it?

I want to be loved.

I end up hurting those who I love.

I'm scared of what might happen because I know that it'll end up with me in denial. I'm in denial. He's not dead. He can't be dead!

Part of me is screaming to me: that he's dead.

He is dead and I know it.

Why'd I let him go out of my reach in the first place?

Is he fine?

Will I be fine?

I don't know anything anymore.

I'm supposed to know everything and I thought I did and I wish that life will just mean hair gel and picking up girls again but it'll never be that way again and I'm lost in this forever pain that's pushing me over the edge and I can't break free this time.

Laughing.

I'm laughing.

I'm trying to feel better but I'm pathetic.

Nothing can make me feel better.

Just pain over pain.

They say laughter is the best medicine—but my laughter has been ruptured into nothing and I've ruptured as well.

Why am I here?

It's still so very scary.

I've done wrong. I know I've done wrong. But I want to undo that wrong. If you just give me a chance…I swear… I don't want to be hurt and I don't want to believe that he's hurt too…I have to be watching him.

Stuck in a black cell.

I'm here.

I think my soul's always been here.

I can't think anymore.

I can barely speak.

Just shattered and distorted.

I'm locked away from the world and I just want to see the outside world again, Mother Nature hates me and wants to lock me into this horrifying black cage, all alone, all with thoughts of if he's dead or not.

I blame Cena.

I've always blamed Cena.

Mr. Big Shot.

This time, I'm letting the truth sink in—this is all my fault and I don't know how to fix it. Ever. I just don't.

I'm above 6'0 but I feel so tiny.

I have brown hair.

I have blue eyes.

My flesh's so pale in this light…

__

**Have you guessed who it is?**

**It's obvious!**

**Or is it?**

**I'm good at confusing people. :P**

**;) Sam**

**Next one? '**_**Cat'**_**.**

**Summary: back to Randy and John. When John finds a black cat, he's led into a twisted complicated puzzle and ends up realizing that Ted and Cody might just be alive…or are they? Plus, you get to figure out who I'm talking about in this chapter at the end! **


	23. Cat

**I love mysteries.**

**I love confusing people. It's short but still…**

__

Cat

__

A black little feline stands at John's window and all that John can do is look at it and putting the piece of cloth in his pocket, he walks in after the little black cat _bad luck, you're just full of bad luck, aren't you, John? Following a black cat? _and as John follows the feline cat, he runs after it, finding himself into a deeper part of the woods but he doesn't want to go back to where he is, all alone, all so very alone with thoughts of Randy being hurt being the only thing to do and he wants to find Randy and he has to find Randy and as he probes deeper, feeling the sun beat down his back, sweat and tiredness all over again, he falls down onto his knees and pants and the cats stops, swishing his tail around and staring at him with wide green eyes before meowing.

John looks confusedly at the cat as it goes away, hides behind a tree and John, breathlessly, oh so breathlessly, follows the cat, panting and then his eyes widen as he sees another cabin and walks towards it, trying to open the door but having no luck, he asks a loud "hello?" hoping for Randy's voice or Ted's or Cody's.

The voice is weak and fragile but familiar. "Cena?"

"Yeah," John answers and fear collapses over him—Randy? Ted? Cody?—they shouldn't be in this horror cabin as he tries to unlock the door but he has no luck and he's just so very scared as he asks, "do you know how to open the door?"

"No," the voice is scared.

John's panic level increases and he steps his foot onto the door, falling back down and taking a deep breath, "Randy?" he asks, hoping not, closing his eyes and holding onto the doorknob and stomping his foot into the door with no success again. "Randy, is it you?"

"No." The voice is slightly annoyed.

That annoyance…it's so very familiar.

"Cody?"

"No!"

"Ted?"

"No!"

John sighs, it's probably a person he's never met before but he won't let another suffer like he's suffering right now and panic still rises knowing that he has to look around for Ted and Cody and Randy who might be dead and the thought twists acid knots into John's stomach as he thinks thoughtfully. "Are they alive?"

"I think so," just so damn familiar…

A rush of hope fills through John and he can just hope that Randy's the same as he looks up at the clear blue sky, a vision of Randy's eyes up there and he can just hope…

And as John stomps his foot onto the door once again, to have the cat scratch through the door and one last stomp is all that John needs to break the door _you always find a way to break things, don't you, John?_

And John stops when he realizes those blue eyes, twinkling so very tiredly…

The cat runs over to the 28 year old and jumps into his hands and those blue eyes look up at him, almost finding his salvation, seeing a person for the first time in what feels like forever…

"Mike Mizanin?!"

__

**You expect that?**

**;) Sam**

**Next one? '**_**No Time'**_**.**

**Summary: They put Randy into a casket and throw him down before burying him alive. Ted and Cody have to witness, strapped to a tree, bloodied. John Cena gets lost. Mike's thoughts about what happened to him then and his horror of what might happen to them now.**


	24. No Time

**Since Crazy Train is coming to an end...and sadness roams. Here is a new one-shot.**

__

No Time

__

Randy's body's in a casket.

They're choking him. Burying him and he doesn't even care. "John," he whispers in such a soft, such a broken little voice, "I want John…"

He shuts his eyes tight.

"I'm supposed to be dead, right?" he whispers to the wind.

And he feels the dirt choke on him.

Choking on black dirt.

It hurts him. And he feels as if though he's really dead, decomposing…and he can't breathe in this tight space and he conserves his energy, tearing out and fainting just before he can take another breath and as he breathes through the tiny particles of air around him, and he tries to breathe—but he really can't.

'_John…John…'_

He can't breathe.

But he doesn't really care.

And he closes his eyes.

And waits to die.

__

Their eyes are going to pop out of their head.

"RANDY!"

Both of their voices collide at once.

Cody's blue eyes, innocently pained, biting onto his lower lip, tears filling his eyes as Cody's head twists to Ted's.

Ted feels Cody's stare and looks at him, and now, they're both staring and they both have blood dripping from their hair and shoulders are mixed with blood but they don't really care that the look like Hell as Ted licks the blood off his lips.

Bitter.

Everything's too bitter.

Ted silently curses himself.

Cody's just watching as he tries to get out of the embrace of the trees that they're stuck in but there isn't any hope for them as they tire out and eventually, try to pray for their friend's safety.

They feel as if their prayers are going to go unanswered.

__

John Cena, out of everything, doesn't like getting lost.

It's dark.

He doesn't know where he is. He's all so very alone.

It's so dark.

He's trying to find the piece of light.

_Mike…?_

_Randy…?_

_Ted…?_

_Cody…?_

He doesn't find anything as he moves further.

_Anyone…?_

__

Mike's body shifts.

He's lost John.

He's always lost these days, isn't he?

He remembers being tortured here. With their knives digging into his body, piercing, horrible blood flowing, with him having to watch John suffer—John—what happened to him? Did he die?

No!

His John can't die!

Mike thinks of John Morrison's innocent eyes and his hair and eyes.

And he suddenly misses the goddamn Palace of Wisdom.

__

"RANDY!"

That shocks him.

His Randy.

In danger?

John races as he looks around, races with the branches kicking onto him and leaving him battered and he doesn't really care as he finds himself reaching towards the setting and he falls to his knees, digging the dirt out of the way and finding a fainted Randy and he looks at him.

"How long—?"

"Two minutes." He hears Ted say.

He holds onto Randy's body and brings him close to his chest again as he strokes the nape of Randy's neck.

"Not enough to kill him," John says, burying Randy's head in his chest as he walks over to Ted and Cody and releases them and he holds onto Randy's body, carrying him easily, "Where do you guys stay?"

Ted and Cody walk at the thought and they don't say anything else.

They all stop after a ten minute walk to a bunch of brown little cabins all squished together and John notices that they're not too far off from Mike…Mike! He has to find Mike! He kisses onto Randy's lips, even if they're cold and rigid, and places him onto Ted's bed, before looking outside.

"I'll go out. Look for Mike."

"Miz is here?" Ted asks, confused.

John Cena only nods his head as he shuts the doors so they can't be disturbed and goes off into the darkness.

__

"Mike?"

No sound.

"Mike?!"

Nothing at all.

His voice's all hoarse and cracked and he doesn't think Mike's around here at all and now that the place actually falls to dark night, he doesn't know where he is.

__

Mike Mizanin thinks of John Morrison.

"_John, what do they want from us?" Mike snuggles into John's chest, feeling his 'rock solid' muscles and feels Morrison press Mike's head against his chest. _

"_Mike…what do you do?"_

_Mike's eyes tear as tears cascade. He can't believe Johnny would say something like that! But Mike realizes the truth as he snuggles even deeper into John Hennigan's chest. "You see, there was one time where I was Ted DiBiase's best friend and Ted had this sorta of gang try outs…"_

"_Try outs?" John's eyebrow rises._

"_Yes, you see… they made me do horrible things. They made us both do horrible things! I couldn't take it—I—"John plants a kiss on Mike's lips, feeling the warmth of Mike's lips, he deepens the kiss._

"_If we get out of here alive, I need you to know; I love you, Michael Mizanin." _

Mike's eyes are tearing up on the inside as he tries not to remember. His feet are walking but he barely knows it. He's lost and he barely cares.

He just wants to be in John's arms again.

_They're ripping him from his John's arms._

_They hold onto Mike's leg, pushing him back as John tries to pull him to him and as they threaten Mike's health, John finally lets go, letting Mike's body press against Travis's and Travis kisses his earlobe._

"_Say goodbye, Morrison to your boyfriend."_

"_Give him back before-"_

_A gun to the right side of Mike's head, "before __**what**__?"_

"…_nothing."_

_They take Mike away as Mike tries to reach out for John's body all over again, "John! John! Please! Don't leave me alone! Please!" and his eyes and hopes are being crushed as John slowly fades from his sight._

"_Please…"_

There's just no time for thoughts.

He wants to find John.

One way or another.

**Um…review?**

**Next one?**

'_**Trouble Lurking'.**_

**Summary: "And you, John? You're going off to engage Orton only because of a bet?" Randy's eyes twist to look at John's. "Bet?"**

**;) Sam**


	25. Trouble Lurking

**I don't know why I'm so happy today.**

**But I am.**

**So let me update.**

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Trouble Lurking

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Mike Dasher's eyes burns into John's.

Horror.

Reel.

Pain.

Plaster.

"Mike—"John's eyes register who it really it. It's not Mike Mizanin's. It's Mike Dasher's eyes. The very 'friend' who had called him to meet at the coffee place. The very 'friend' that made this bet with him to be married with John Cena and had changed the details every two days—this Mike.

Right in front of him.

John suddenly puts the pieces together.

This had been their plan all alone. They knew that John will fall in love with Randy Orton. They knew that John will do anything to be with him if he did fall in love with him. They knew that John's fragile around him. They knew and they played him, tricked him into thinking this was just a funny, silly little bet.

It's just not anymore.

Randy's footsteps echo into the forest as he finds John. "Oh, John," Randy's still dizzy from the burial and he just wants to hold onto his John's body and let him rock him to sleep but now, standing in front of John, his heart thuds with horror as he realizes that burns and plasters on John's face. "I-"Randy stops when John seems to be only staring at Mike Dasher's daring eyes.

"Why are you doing this, Mike?" John asks. "You're a freaking jerk, Mike! I swear you deserve to go to Hell!"

__

Mike Mizanin's body hears the faint sound of the name 'Mike'.

He walks over to the voice, finally finding John's face.

"You're a freaking jerk, Mike!"

Mike's body pales.

"I swear you deserve to go to Hell!"

Mike's heart sinks into his chest and tears are blurring his vision as he starts to run back into the darkness, aimlessly, with thoughts of horror lacing through his head.

Did John just call him that…?

Did John do that to him on purpose?

Why?

Why does this always happen to him?

Why?

Why doesn't anyone like him?

__

Mike Dasher's snicker runs through the air. "It surprised me that you'd take the bet—after all, you love your little toy, don't you?"

John's heart threatens to stop in his chest.

"Your little Randy with all the buttons just inside of him?"

John doesn't think so anymore and he knows it.

But at the mention of it, Randy's body and face pales as he stares at Mike, trying to piece what Mike is saying.

"You took advantage of me!" John exclaims.

Mike Dasher knows this. He knows John's weakness of wanting to befriend just anyone. Even if he's a real jerk. John really knows that. And it's like high school again and everyone's scent's all the same and it feels like standing in the middle of the football field, with sweat running down your face and you wondering if your team's going to forgive you for disappointing them for making them throw the game away.

Though, this time, he knows that he's playing more than just a game. He's playing Randy too hard.

He thinks he broke him too many times.

He _knows_ he broke him too many times.

"And you, John? You're going off to engage Orton only because of a bet?" Randy's eyes twist to look at John's.

"Bet?"

Randy wants to know. He needs to know. "Bet, John?! Are you with me because of a bet?"

John's eyes threaten to burst with tears, hoping that Randy will forgive him but he doesn't know how to forgive himself. Hearing the words, coming from Randy's mouth, it's so painful. Too saddening. "Y-yes," John stutter, brushing his shaky hand towards Randy's face.

That look in Randy's eyes…

It just breaks John on the inside.

It makes the world all crash down to pieces.

That look in Randy's eyes.

Betrayal. Deception.

And he wonders if Randy can trust anyone ever again. And he wonders how hard Randy's heart is bleeding right now.

Randy slaps John, hard enough for his face to redden, and seeing it, Randy doesn't feel any sympathy as he runs off with tears rolling down his face and a bleeding heart left behind and he feels so swallowed off by the pain that's engulfing him and Randy's head explodes and explodes and there's just nothing left as he falls onto his knees and lets the tears fall, so rapidly.

He hears the faint sound of his name.

"Randy! Randy, please! Let me explain!"

Everything.

From those memories, the happiest, most romantic, the best memories of his life, all with John Cena, just flashing into his eyes…

All a lie.

His world's all upside down.

No colors.

No breath.

Nothing.

There's just trouble lurking between the shadows and they're ready to pounce on Randy anytime of any place.

He takes another breath.

He can't breathe anymore.

He feels dead.

Too dead.

He wonders where he is in the world.

It's just so…indescribable.

__

**Here you go.**

**Next one? '**_**Tears'**_**.**

**Summary: Tears are running from his eyes, a glint of light in the darkness. "I love you," John whispers. "All lies. Get away from me."**

**All angst.**

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	26. Tears

**Um…yeah, sad. Very sad.**

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Tears

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It's cold.

It's dark.

Randy doesn't think that he'll see him tonight but then, his eyes are glinting off in the dark and they're both looking at each other, staring. "Randy, please…"

"Shut up." Randy says, and his voice's so weak.

He's lost his own strength.

Tears are running down his eyes.

"I love you," John whispers.

"All lies. Get away from me."

John holds onto Randy's arm and Randy flings John off, throwing him towards the cool lake towards them. John's head bobs up and he stares at Randy. Confused as Randy leans down towards him, both of them are now staring at each other's lives.

"I'm done being your toy, John. I don't want you to play me!"

"I need to tell you why, Randy." John says as he tries to slip his hand towards Randy's shoulder but Randy snaps, stepping away, showing John his back and John stares down at the ground.

It's all his fault.

It's all his damn fault and he can't fix anything ever again.

__

"Randy?"

Ted and Cody jump from their kiss as they stare at Randy's face, tear stained and their hearts are bursting through his chest.

"Randy! What happened?"

"That jerk, John Cena, happened!" Randy says, sitting down onto the thing these people called a 'bed' and feeling his stomach wrench. Disgust. It's so disgusting just thinking about John want for him after all that…it just makes Randy sick.

"Oh, really, what's wrong?" Ted asks, sitting beside his friend.

Cody looks at him, staring straight at Ted and then his eyes shifts to Randy. "Did he hurt you?"

"He broke me! That little piece of…" Randy swears under his breath, swears that Ted and Cody wouldn't say to their worst enemies and beyond the anger and rage and fury, Randy's crying on the inside, crying and tearing into pieces of brokenness that he can never fix and anyone who'll try to fix them will just get hurt.

"I'm sure he doesn't really mean it." Ted says.

"So you're on his side?" Randy spits out, stirring anger into his body as he walks over to Ted who simply steps back and shakes his head.

"Never, Ran!" Ted exclaims, slightly angry at thinking that he'd be on another side beside Randy's.

"Then stop defending him!"

Ted's eyes glow into a headed blue set and Cody just steps back, knowing that this will cause a fight because it's always had.

"You can't control what we think of anyone, Orton!"

Randy's eyes glare at Ted's and as the tension builds, a timid and slightly intimidated Cody steps closer to the both of them, knowing that he shouldn't get into the fights of theirs or he'll get hurt too but he needs to let out a voice, even if it's squeaky and weak—

"Ted, I…"

"And you," Ted says, looking at him, staring deep into Cody's eyes, 'you always agree with Randy freaking Orton! And you supposedly like me…"

"Randy, you know what I feel for you but Randy's got a point…"

"When did you ever agree with me?" Ted spits out, standing closer to Cody, holding onto the boy's wrist and staring deep into Cody's now scared and frightened turquoise eyes which now have more of blue than green. "When?" Ted repeats, spitting it out.

"Cena plays him like a toy. Yes. But you always play us like dolls, too, Randy! We can't always handle that."

Randy stops and looks into Ted's eyes.

That _thing_ in Ted's eyes…

That's not Ted.

That's Randy.

Randy steps away and nods his head, finally letting the tears flow out of his eyes. "I know…I'm sorry for playing you, guys…maybe I needed closure. Maybe I needed someone who knew how it felt to be played…and I took it out on you both…I'm a horrible Legacy member and you all know it."

"Oh Randy…" Ted suddenly feels sick to the stomach, having that beast inside of him fade away in an instant. "I didn't mean—"

Randy shakes his head and strides his backpack to his back, before walking away before Ted can finish his sentence and he knows that the only thing that's running through is mind is that **you break everything **and he knows it and he lives by it and it hurts so very much that Randy cannot even fathom the image in his head.

He stops by the nearest tree and holds onto it.

He stares at the cold, murky lake.

Everything's a reflection of Randy Orton today.

Except Randy himself.

He lets his back press to the tree. "I'm sorry…I'm so very sorry…" he whispers to practically nothing as he shakes and holds onto his arms, sliding down the tree and falling to the floor. **That's all that's happening to you, hasn't it?**

Falling.

Falling into a black pit.

Of darkness and deception.

He's being played by his own game.

And he doesn't remember the rules anymore.

__

Mike Mizanin's fingers press against the tree as tears run through his eyes.

He'd been stuck in the woods for so long and he hadn't eaten. A few days of this and he'd be ready to become a female supermodel. The 28 year old man had spend his time running around from seemingly horrifying sounds and searching for any traces of his John Morrison and he sees a sign of something in the cold, night lake and as he walks over to it.

His eyes widen.

That's John Morrison's shoe.

In the lake.

He takes the shoe in his hands and looks at it, and from the bedazzled, sequins that seem to shine without even him trying to rub off the dust, his heart cringes and twists, bleeding completely and there's nothing left in him anymore as he lets the shoe fall down onto the dull grassy ground.

Mike falls to the ground, sobbing and his sobs erupt and collide into the sky.

He just can't believe it…

His Johnny is dead.

He feels it.

And he just hopes it's wrong.

And for once, the shoe shines and the stars shine, but Mike's lost his sparkles.

__

Ted tries to fall asleep.

He can't.

He feels as if his eyes are glued tight.

As he holds onto his sleeping Cody's body.

And they're both on the floor, pressing their bodies against each other but not caring about the touch.

Their thoughts are colliding with each other.

And it hurts to think that.

Ted knows that Cody doesn't mind being a doll and that's why he got with him in the first place, to break him free out of it, but in the process, he's looped them down into a dangerous game of deception and darkness and terror and he doesn't know how to get out of it.

"I'm sorry, Cody…" he says to the sleeping, shaking boy in his hands as he kisses Cody's forehead and feels him grip onto him in comfort.

The feeling inside of you just burns you.

The tears finally fall.

__

John Cena walks around the woods.

His watch flashes.

_2:00._

He doesn't really care.

He stares up in the sky.

He wonders why the sky isn't crying anymore.

He wonders when the universe just stopped revolving around the sun and started revolving around just nothing.

Because everything's confusing him.

He lies down a log and he feels like Winnie the Pooh or any of those other children stories as he presses his finger against his forehead, once, twice, three times. "Think, think, think…" he says as if imitating the bear.

But the humor doesn't get to him as he looks down onto the floor.

_You haven't really thought in a while._

He throws his cap onto the ground and squashes it.

_You've really crushed your own heart, haven't you, John?_

__

**Told you it was sad.**

**But so is the entire story. :P**

**Next is '**_**Foreign'**_**.**

**Summary: John steps into an unknown place, and he doesn't know how to get out. Mike's trying to find his way back to the campsite but meets with Travis. Ted and Derek have a talk. Cody becomes someone's pet. Randy needs his medicine and to what lengths would he go to get it? **

**And yeah…that's one hell of a summary.**

**;) Sam**


	27. Foreign

**I got nothing to say.**

**I don't own anything. I should've said that in the beginning of the fic but oh well...  
**

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Foreign

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John walks around the woods.

It's his heart that's pounding and his head's that racing. He's done so much good and it's just crumbled by a bet and he doesn't know how to fix himself up. It's all so messed up and John doesn't even know how to breathe anymore, much less think as he stops in the middle of nowhere and leans down to take a quick breath.

He feels the ground underneath him crack.

And he falls down.

His head hits the back of a rock.

His body's all aching as rocks stab and pierce through his delicate soft skin and all that he feels is ripping pain as his head bangs to the end of this place.

He looks around.

There's a mist.

He can't see anything.

And he can't feel anything but the coldness underneath him.

His stomach twists.

And his head explodes.

And all that he hopes for is that Randy doesn't care at all and he just hopes that Randy still wants him dead as he stares up at the sky, so much mist that he can't even see it and he doesn't want to move.

He's lost.

It's like he's in a different world.

He doesn't know where he is.

And he doesn't think he'll ever go out.

**Great. Just great. Cena, what you going to do now?**

John stares up at the mist and looks down at the rocky, cold ground underneath him and he puts his head on his knees and starts to shake.

**Great. You're being six years old now. What happened when you were six to make you act more mature then?**

He wants the voice to go away but it just keeps on nagging and tugging at his thoughts until he thinks that he's going to explode.

"Randy…"

He licks his lips on the inside one more time and he thinks that he can still taste the aftertaste of their first kiss on his lips.

He's just hallucinating and he knows it.

**You're going mental now, too?**

He lets his head go onto his hair and he threatens to rip out what's left of his hair.

**Stop!**

He doesn't.

When he hits the floor, he hits the back of his head on the floor, repeating the process every two seconds so that he can bleed because he knows that he deserve to bleed, after what he'd done to Randy, oh…he deserves to bleed…

__

Mike's body shakes as he stops to take a rest.

Travis's body comes to view.

Mike forgets about how much pain his muscles feel when he moves and he forgets about how much agony he feels when he tries to breathe and he just jumps up and the jerky movement make Miz's body go into complete and utterly agony as he stares at Travis. The man who he used to do anything for.

"Oh, Mizzy…"

Before Mike can say anything, Travis attacks him.

Throws him towards the tree and kisses him, hard, passionate and hard, and Miz feels his heart tears into pieces because he can't push Travis off. And as he punches Travis in the stomach, Miz feels his hands being pinned and Travis's legs entwining with his as Travis pulls off, licking his lips.

"Mizzy, I love how you get so very angry."

"Get away from me," Miz wants his voice to sound strong but it comes out weak and fragile, like a child's voice. Scared. Months of being here had taught Miz how to do that. He's sorry that he had given them all the information they needed. From where John Cena resides to who Ted likes the most.

But they had threatened to kill him and Morrison.

What was he supposed to do?

Just stay there and watch his lover get killed.

They betrayed him anyways.

And Miz just wishes he had been a little bit more reluctant about it all so that he can at least see John's eyes right now.

His John.

All gone.

Forever.

Travis's hands go towards Mike's hat and he rips it off, letting his hand glide towards Miz's hair as he strokes it.

"What did you all do to John?!"

"Hennigan? He's long gone, baby." Travis says and Miz's eyes widen as his fears are confirmed and he breaks down into tears into Travis's arms as Travis presses him hard onto the tree. "You know what?"

Mike stares at him, letting the sticky tears roll off his cheeks. "W-what?" his voice is cracked hoarse.

"He told me to tell you that he loved you."

Miz's eyes widen.

"He-he did?"

He wants to tell him that he loves him too and that he's sorry for getting him into this mess as Travis throws Miz onto the floor, pressing a boot to his back and Miz stares at the grass, so very motionless.

_**He loved you.**_

And Miz had thrown away his chance to be with him…for good.

__

Ted goes out to get some wood.

It's been a long night for him and Cody. Cody's gone through it sleeping but Ted's gone through it, thinking, horrified on Cody's behalf, terrified for Randy's behalf, but not really caring about himself as he strides through the forest, looking around through the forest but hearing nothing.

It's become a habit of his.

He'd come here and then look around for any noises or shadows and then he'd go on. And he does this every time he switches trails.

He hears the sound of a twig snapping.

His heart thuds.

"Cody?"

He hopes it's just the boy, scared of being alone, and Ted's known that a long time but the face of the man that steps out of the shadows is the last face that Ted wants to see. Derek. Ted grits his teeth as Derek walks towards him and holds onto Ted's arm, pulling him so that they're eye to eye, face to face.

"Oh, Teddy. Haven't you grown up?"

"Get away from me." Ted says through his gritted teeth as he attempts to walk away but Derek pulls him close and presses his body to his, taking Ted towards the murky, cold and deep lake and Ted's eyes widen with terror as he realizes what Derek wants to do so his struggle stops and he becomes motionless.

Derek leans down and grips onto Ted's body, hard, as he makes Ted look at the water. "What you see, baby?"

"What do you want?" Ted asks as his eyes plead for mercy and compassion and sympathy and Derek presses Ted's body to the ground, so close to the lake so Ted's body's naturally frozen into place.

"Join us, of course."

"Why would I do that?" Ted spits out, acid coming out of his mouth with his words and Derek lets out a laugh.

"Because if you don't, I'll suffocate you. I swear I'll drown you."

Ted stares down at his feet and Derek laughs as he takes Ted into his bulky, tight arms and he's ready to drown Ted inside. He's so very ready. "Deal or no deal?"

"In your dreams!"

Derek sighs as he throws Ted deep inside of the water.

The coldness makes Ted freeze on the inside.

The horror makes Ted stare as the water engulfs him.

"No one to save you, Teddy…" he hears the muffled voice in the water as he drowns and he tries to reach out to the surface…he can't die…Cody needs him.

__

Drake's life had been all about the parties and girls and now, his eyes are on one little boy as he walks inside of the empty cabin with Cody staring outside the window and from his eyes, Drake knows what he feels…

Empty.

Alone.

Depressed.

Drake walks towards him and kisses his neck, making Cody freeze in place. "I've never seen a prettier doll, don't you agree?"

Cody's silent.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be screaming in a minute!"

Drake punches Cody hard in his stomach, sending him flying backwards and he falls down onto the floor and agony and desolation and confusion is in Cody's eyes as he stares up at Drake and his heart thuds, once and twice and three times and he doesn't know what to do as Drake grabs onto his arm and presses him down. "Derek has your little Teddybear so I get to have you."

And before Cody can protest, Drake had already given him several punches, making Cody look up in the ceiling.

"Ted…help…"

His voice's so soft and repressed and Drake doesn't really care.

Drake gives him another swing, on his face so Cody feels broken and all messed up on the inside and he stares up at him with begging eyes…

Oh please.

"Ted!"

__

Randy Orton needs his medicine.

Bad.

He doesn't want to even risk himself dying. As far as he knows, he wants to die but there's something holding him back and he doesn't want to admit it…

**You still love Cena.**

It's the inevitable truth that's spiraling through him.

**And he doesn't want you to die…**

Randy slashes the knife through his wrist.

**But he's been playing you, hasn't he?**

Randy slashes the knife through his other wrist and lets it drop the floor with its piercing sound as Travis laughs to him, and throws him his bottle of medicine and he looks at it, clutches it as the blood flows out of his wrists.

With a shaky hand, he takes the lid off and takes a pill.

By the time that it takes Randy Orton to go to the cabin, he's finished half of the bottle. He tries to deny it but he knows the truth behind his excuses.

**You really want to kill yourself, don't you?**

Part of him does.

Part of him doesn't.

And he just doesn't know what to listen to anymore.

Everything's so unknown right now.

__

**And we got an update.**

**Next one?**

'_**Sorrow'**_**.**

**Summary: Derek's group have decided what they want from Legacy, John and Miz…but when it goes too far, how do they cope?**

**;) Sam**


	28. Sorrow

**Damn my lack of knowing sports.**

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Sorrow

__

John feels the ground underneath him, the rocky ground break and he stares down onto the floor, trying to understand what's happening—he finds the rock break and his body's falling down again.

_Even rock breaks at some point. You were broken a long time ago._

And now, anyone on his surface was falling, too.

He felt his head hitting with the cold ground, bleeding, rapidly. John lifted his head, groaning in pain when he felt a surge of pain overtake his body and head and he didn't know what else to do but try and rekindle his thoughts in his head.

Where's he now?

He looks around.

This place.

Familiar.

His head tries to register where he is as he walks down the underground tunnel and he takes a flash light, looking around, trying to understand where he is.

And why is it so familiar…?

"_John, stop playing."_

_John Cena picks up his teddy bear and presses it to his chest, staring down at the ground as his parents search the area._

"_Don't blame it on him. He's just a kid."_

"_He should know that this means business!"_

"_Johnny, he's four years old! He doesn't even know how say 'business'."_

_John stares back up at them, confused with a broken, cracked smile as he stands up and his eyes widen as he sees those shadow slip in and out of the caves._

"_What's that?"_

_John's father looks down at John, holding his son close to him._

"_Johnny, what's that?"_

"_I don't know!"_

"_Let's get out of here…"_

"_No! Wait!" _

_They grab onto John's hands and pull him out and the little stuffed teddy bear falls down onto the ground._

"_Wait! I need Sergeant Teddy!"_

_John's eyes are on his little fluffy friend as his parents pull him away. _

"_Teddy…"_

John knows it.

He knows the exit….he knows where he was. He knows exactly where he was. And as he straddles towards where he'd memory remembered, he remembers the strange little pictures on the cave, and the white chalk on the floor.

He stands towards the wall and leans down to grab onto the chalk.

So many memories.

This is where his family went camping most of this time.

This isn't too far from where they really lived.

Maybe two hours away.

He knows.

He finally knows.

He stops when he feels a squeaky sound from underneath him and looks down to see a tattered, broken off bear. Sergeant Teddy.

He holds the teddy bear into his hands and threatens to squeeze the stomach out but he kisses his forehead instead and he holds the teddy bear close to his chest, running his hand down the back.

"I broke you. I always break things."

He takes the bear in his hands and feels a hand take him away. "Think you can run away from us, not a chance?" and as they take him back to Randy, Cody, Ted and Mike now, all on the floor, either drugged or red with pain from abuse and they throw John down onto the floor.

He's sorry for leaving them.

He's sorry for breathing everything.

And he knows it.

"For the next few days, you're going to be battling your way to freedom. By doing a few dangerous sports," Derek says and the rest only nod their head to his glare at them. "First sport… ice hockey."

__

It's really an icy cave.

They're all entangled into each other.

Mike's hockey stick had slipped into Ted's eye and had make him cry and Cody had collided towards him, tearing down Ted and Mike all at once, making Ted's stick drive into Mike's eye, making tears run down one eye and now Randy and John are the only ones standing before they collide into each other and Mike tries to stand up but they all fall down onto each other, all entangled into each other.

With pain and aching as Cody announces. "I think that I broke my leg…"

Later on, they discover that Cody had really broken his leg and as Derek walks towards him, staring at him, horrid, 'and another sport: motocross."

"Cody's broken his legs."

"Doesn't matter. I want you there by tomorrow afternoon."

They look at Cody who'd fallen into sleep and Ted holds onto him. Randy's eyes are staring at Cody and John holds onto his shoulder, clutching onto his teddy bear's arm at the same time.

"…they're gone too far."

__

**Reviews? Or no? C'mon, review for me!! :)  
**

**;) Sam**


	29. Happiness

**Finally, there's an update. Hope you're happy.  
**

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Happiness

__

Happiness is long from here.

It's like a distant dream and as Cody tries not to think so, he wants it to be okay but it's not. It's just not.

Happiness fades.

And nothing's left is throbbing pain.

Cody holds onto his motorbike and his head's spinning and breaking and his head's burning with thoughts of horror and nothingness as he holds onto the handlebars and looks back at Randy, John, Ted and Mike who are staring at him with sympathy.

Their motorbikes start.

After about fifteen minutes in the race, Cody slams into a rock and falls down, letting his bone break hard at the crash and he bites his lower lip as the pain rips through his body and he lets out a horrid scream, feeling the pain throb and thud and pulse.

Randy stops his bike and John crashes into him, making Randy fall beside Cody and John falls down onto Randy and pain overtakes them because this brings back old memories and their bodies just fit and it's just like two pieces of puzzles that fit together.

Ted and Mike completely stop in their tracks. Ted runs over to Cody and Mike follows, letting his helmet crash to the ground as they all lean towards Cody. Ted brushes his hand against Cody's cheek, "I'm sorry for letting you do this…"

Cody whimpers under Ted's touch and Ted takes Cody's body as he carries him. John tries to stand up and helps Randy up who falls down and his breath turns short and sharp and John presses him closer, feeling Randy's extremely hot skin against his, and he suddenly remembers that Randy's a cancer patient before his heart skips a beat to realize how Randy's in this condition, spending his last few days like this, in pain, crippled pain and nothing can stop him from doing this.

"I…" Randy presses his head to John's chest, letting John feel the heat of Randy's body, feeling the fire that's burning inside of him.

"Let's go back to the cabins." Mike says.

John doesn't really concentrate on it at all because his skin's so hot and he's so out of breath and—Ted presses Cody to his chest, feeling the warmth of his body and hearing him whimper under the touch, feeling the burning pain.

__

"You're bleeding…"

John lets his hand glide to Randy's face and he lifts his chin up so that they're looking directly at each other as Randy's heart burn and pump reduced blood through his arteries and veins.

"You're bruising…"

Randy looks away with tears running down his eyes. "I know, okay! I read a book about this. Apparently, my lack of platelets makes me bleed and bruise easily."

"Oh, oh, baby," John brings Randy to his chest, making Randy shake John off as the blood boils but his body's thin and cracked and broken and he doesn't think he can handle this much rage and fury inside of him.

"Get off!"

"I'm sorry for making you feel like a toy. Just give me another chance!" John says, feeling tears in his heart as the blood seeps from it and pain blocks John's head from other thoughts as he takes Randy's body and brings him close to his chest. "I'd never hurt you…"

"You did! You broke me into pieces and it's all for your freaking selfish need!" Randy exclaims as he stands up and pushes John towards the bed and walks outside, looking out into the forest "Get out of here."

John walks towards him, holding Randy towards his waist and Randy takes his hand and pushes him towards the door. "GET OUT!"

John opens his mouth but Randy opens the door and shoves him out and as Randy feels the touch of his own skin, his body burns into fire as he falls down onto the floor and looks at the rawness of his skin and his heart pounds ten times harder. "I-it's getting worse!"

The cancer's getting worse.

His hands are going towards his treatment and looks at the bottle before shoving half of the bottle's contents in his mouth and he lets the dizziness overwhelm his body as he feels himself daze off and black out.

Right now, being happy is an overrated dream.

__

Ted presses Cody to his body and he kisses his forehead. "Oh, Cody, I'm sorry."

Cody looks down at the floor as he kisses Ted's mouth, bringing him close to him and lets Ted lay down onto his body, making Cody scream out in pain and Ted stands up. "Oh, Cody, I'm really sorry…"

Cody shakes his head. "It-it's okay."

Ted kisses Cody's forehead one more time before he places the sheet on him. "You rest. I won't let them do anything to you."

"I'm scared."

Ted's eyes threaten to spill tears. "Don't be."

"What if they hurt you…?"

Ted's heart erupts with pain and horrid horror and twisted agony. "No, 'Ted said. "They won't hurt me. I'm afraid that they'll hurt you. If you hear anyone in the room, scream…"

Ted was ready to leave then he saw a hint of something on Cody's neck and he had taken off Cody's shirt, screaming, seeing the deepened scars and blood plastered on his cracked and brittle body.

"Who did that?"

"D-D-Drake…" Cody stutters, whimpering as he feels Ted trace along the pained cuts before Ted turns around and walks out quickly. "Ted, please, don't…"

"I won't let anyone hurt you, Cody and I'd do anything to set this right." Ted walks out and doesn't say anything else.

There's pain sloshing through Cody's body and he wants so bad to stop Ted…and it's like he can't trust him anymore. Cody's eyes widen. Did he just say that he doesn't trust Teddy? The boy he'd fallen in love just with a bat of an eyelash?

Where did the happiness of life go?

__

**Review??**

**;) Sam**


	30. Under the Rain

**Looks like there's a dark turn in the story.**

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Under The Rain

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Under the rain, nothing seems to matter anymore.

John Cena's fingers run down his teddy bear's fur and he lets the tears run down his cheeks. This is routine. This had been routine ever since John had been five years old and he'd known it so well.

He'd spend his time hiding.

And paining and breaking on the inside.

And then…when the rain falls and the skies streak gray, he'd cry, too.

It's always been this way.

Now, he's still broken and he's still destroyed and the tears just fall down but his face's so blank and emotionless and he doesn't know who he's fooling anymore.

You can't even fool yourself.

__

Under the rain, Cody's heart shatters.

It's the scent of chocolates and roses and perfect Valentine's Day dates and he remembers it as if it's yesterday.

It's the first time he'd truly fallen in love with Ted DiBiase.

And now, he's scared.

Why doesn't he trust Ted?

But he realizes…

If he can't trust himself, how can he trust others?

__

Under the rain, Randy's eyes turn even bluer.

It's the color of oceans.

Seas.

Calmness.

Yet all that Randy Orton really feels is broken.

Broken seas.

Broken dreams.

Shattered calmness.

He doesn't know who he is anymore.

__

Under the rain, Mike's body turns pale and fragile.

He remembers snuggling to his tag team partner and he remembers how the pain will always go away just with a kiss on his forehead or a hug and he just wants to tell him that he loves him.

He can't.

Now, the rain just makes him feel hurt.

Knowing that he'd never hear Morrison's ever annoying jokes about how much Miz hates getting drenched.

Now, there's no one to talk about how fragile he is.

No one to make him feel safe.

__

Under the rain, the body looks soaked.

Both with rain.

And blood.

The faint scent still never leaves the air, and he knows that as he stares down at his victim. He'd remembered how and why he'd killed him, with what, by what, how much it hurt, and he knows it from the screams how much it really hurt.

It's the knife that he'd stolen from a room—their kitchen or something?—he doesn't really recall and he doesn't really care right now.

The body under him is dead.

Under the rain, everything's all blurry and confusing.

He brings the knife towards him, staring down at the tip of the knife, where he'd driven it from his spine to his head, making the excessive blood flow, watching as his hands had ripped his spine in half.

He bites down his lower lips.

It's all anger.

It's all the rage.

The knife runs deeper through the body. He knows it. And he watches as the body's blood runs towards the floor.

"He-he-hurt…"

He can't even finish the thought as he drops to his knees, letting his tears run down his chest. He'd gone animalistic as he killed him, letting him inhale his last breath before he dies so tragically.

"He hurt him! HE HURT HIM!"

Still, the guilt resides.

He'd taken away a person's life…

Even if it had been Drake's.

Ted's heart thumps.

"I killed him…" he repeats to himself.

**Whoa...Ted killed.**

**That's hot and scary.**

**Next one? '_Flowers_'.**

**Fluffy. Sorta.**

**Summary: John gives Randy a bunch of flowers...why does Randy hate flowers though?  
**

**Whoa...captivating. :P**

**;) Sam**


	31. Flowers

**Next one is up!**

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Flowers

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"What now?"

John Cena finds himself stepping into something as he tries to walk away while holding the teddy bear of his and he looks down to see a vein with pricks as he walked closer to the bushes, seeing the bunch of red roses and he took a deep breath as he rips a bunch out of their place.

He looks at them.

They smell intoxicating.

They smell like bits of broken promises and drained out love but John realizes that it's just his imaginations.

Don't flowers make everything right?

That's what happens in movies anyways.

He stands in front of Randy's cabin's door and knocks onto the floor as Randy opens the door and sees the flowers that John's holding and his eyes turn from sad to boiling angry and John wonders why.

"You don't like flowers?"

"I don't like roses!"

"What's wrong with roses?"

Randy's eyes are threatening to spill tears and they do. The tears are rolling off his broken blue eyes and John walks inside, letting one hand hold the flowers and his teddy bear, letting the other hand walk towards the bed and let him fall down towards his bed. He places Sergeant Teddy on Randy's lap and looks at the flowers as he grips onto his hand. "It's just a way for you to say goodbye."

"What? I don't understand," John responds.

"Flowers are what people put on graves after a person dies!" Randy exclaims. "And especially those types of flowers…roses…"

John takes Randy in his arms and watches him as he cries. He cries besotted tears. "I don't know why I suddenly hate them. Maybe it's because I'm going to freaking die so very soon!"

"I won't let you die."

"You can't control fate." Randy snaps at him. "And you don't even care. I'm just your little toy…can't you find another toy to play with Cena? Am I that fun?"

They both hear a high-piercing scream.

Their hearts pound.

They twist their heads.

A gasp escapes John's lips.

Randy's face's completely white.

It's Cody's scream.

They both run over to Cody's cabin and they don't really care anymore about their fight as they surge through the door and they see Ted and Cody, with their eyes shocked and wide open.

"What happened?" John breaks the silence that's stirring in the room.

"Ted…Ted…"

Ted stares at them and his eyes are sorrowful. "I killed Drake."

__

**What? I had to.**

**;) Sam**


	32. Night

**Okay. I know it was a short chapter but here's the next one and it's sorta short too. I'm having trouble typing up the next chapter of Alone. But I'll try updating...seriously.  
**

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Night

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"W-what?!"

Ted's body turns pale as he realizes what he's said but it's the truth and he can't hide it forever and for a while, it feels right but knowing that he's taken and ripped another person's life from his hand scares him like hell… how could he have committed such a crime? It seemed so perfect, so right when he had gotten the idea but now, all that's soaking and drenching and burning him in is regret.

"I killed Drake…" Ted repeats and his throat's drier as he registers those words. "He hurt Cody! I knew it was wrong—I'm sorry…"

"You did what?" John repeats, in shock and horror and he can't really digest the thought and he can't see innocent blue eyed Ted kill anyone if he tried…

"I killed Drake but it's only because he's hurt Cody and I was so ticked off and the kitchen knife was so…it was calling out to me…and when it was raining, I guessed my head just spun and a minute later, he was dead. Dead to my feet. I'm sorry…"

"Sorry?! He's dead because of you! Even if he's bad or good, no one deserves to die, Ted!" John exclaims, twisting his head towards Randy and walking over to him, lifting his head so that their eyes are staring at each other.

"No one deserve to die," he whispers as he leans down to Randy's face and he kisses his nose, making Randy blink as they share an intense moment, with their eyes staring at each other before Randy pushes him off, glaring at him angry.

"Maybe I should die! Because I'm already their next target. Now that Ted's started a killing spree, we're all going to be dead soon." Randy exclaims and then now silent Mike Mizanin looks down at the floor and he opens the drawer, taking out a nail file and with thoughts of horror and terror running from his eyes.

"Maybe we should just kill them…after what they've done to my John! Morrison is dead because of those…those motherfuckers killed my boyfriend and I will not let them get away with it!"

They've never seen the Miz so murderous.

This night is full of horror and tragic.

And they don't know whether they hate it or like it.

It's a way out.

Yet they don't know who'll go on the way down.

And as they all go to bed, John walks Randy to his bed and he touches Randy's shoulders, watching as Randy rips towards him and John gives him a smile, "oh yeah…I forgot," he slips out a ring from his finger and throws it at John's face. "I forgot to give you your freaking ring back! No wonder you won't stop following me." He hissed.

John looked down at the ring.

It was so much better on Randy's finger and he knows it.

He wants to slip it back on Randy's finger.

"I love you, okay? Can't you accept it!"

"No…"

Randy looks down at the floor and the tears run down his eyes as he stares back up at John Cena. "I cannot accept it. Okay? Because you played me too hard! You made me feel like I was falling in love and then you broke me harder than you can ever imagine! And you still act like you can get me! I won't cave in, John…"

"Please, what can I do to make you believe?"

"I-I don't know."

"Where's our happy ending, Orton? Why are we all trapped into this horror story instead f a love story?"

"I don't know. I was pretty sure that there are cliché love stories. I've seen it happen all the time but now…now, I don't believe in fairytales. I don't' believe in happy endings. I don't believe in myself anymore."

"Randy…"

"Don't say another word."

John watches as Randy moves away from his sight and John grabs onto Randy's wrist and pulls him closer to him and both of their bodies are rubbing against each other, 'please, Randy, give me another chance."

"Never. You broke me."

"Can't I fix you?"

"No. No one can fix me! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE, CENA!" He slapped John hard on his cheek until it reddened and Randy walked off, leaving John there, holding onto the stinging red mark on his face.

Night.

It was all dark.

And it reflected just how broken he was on the inside.

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**Here you go. Took a long time but I had thoughts up my head. Review??**

**;) Sam**


	33. Expectations

**And the next update…:P Also sorta short… **

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Expectations

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They didn't think that _the Miz_ of all people was _serious_.

They really didn't think he'd do it but now staring as Mike's knife went into Travis's throat and blood spewed, hard onto the floor, and Mike watched as Travis fell down, dead on the floor, in a whip of a knife, Mike's knife of all people, and the way his eyes were when he was looking down at Travis. It was so…odd.

"Miz, why?"

Ted should've known he didn't need to ask why. But it's the look in his eyes, the demon that condensed in him, it's not real and it's so horrible and horrid that it's scaring Ted on the inside harder than ever, thinking that Miz might hurt any of his own group but as his eyes soften, Ted sees that the demon's gone.

"He hurt my John," Miz snaps, and his voice's cracked with pain and equipped with horror and sorrow. And all he wants to do is hold onto John's body and cry in his chest, telling him how confused he had been when he killed Travis, about how horrible it was and at the same time, he wants to tell John about how exhilarating it was, for him, to kill another person, to have a person's life hanging in the balance in his hands…about how horrifying it feels to see the blood, to feel it, to be bathed in it…

John Cena's eyes widen slightly, at the blood brushes against Miz's face, seeing it, clinging, dry, so very dry, and so very strong, the scent burns through his nostrils and all that John can do is stare at him. "Miz, you've made this worse…how are we going to get out of here?"

"Miz is right."

Miz, John and Ted's head twist to see Randy Orton standing beside a bed, where Cody lay outstretched with his broken leg and pouty lips and cracked skin, and Randy's eyes look and seem and are determined. "Miz is right. If we're going to get out of here, we need to break the rules. We need to kill them."

Judging from the sound of Randy's voice, he doesn't want anyone to die, even if they do deserve it from what they've done to them.

"What if any of us is in trouble?" Ted asks, with an arched eyebrow. "And Cody, he can't even move, he's a target."

"They can't kill us all at once." Miz reminds Ted. "If we stick together at all times…"

"…then we just might make it through."

"Ted, you stay with Cody." Randy assigns. "Miz, you stay with…"

"Cody and Ted. Cody needs a lot of support. Ted, if we get attacked, I need to make sure Cody's safe while you grab a knife and slay them…" Miz says, flinching slightly at his own plot.

It looks and feels and seems like a horror movie.

They're all so scared on the inside.

"Randy, you stay with John," Miz finishes.

"No way!" Randy exclaims. "I'd rather be killed than spend a minute with him!"

They both look at each other, both of their eyes, solid, so rock solid, and Randy really doesn't care about the condensed pain in John's eyes because he's busy fighting his own agony and tears on the inside and all he wants to do is get out of this mess because he doesn't really want to think of blood and horror and murder.

It's all too confusing.

All so painful.

All so dark.

"Let's start."

Miz grabs onto a knife and places it in his pocket, looking back at them, staring darkly. "What are you waiting for? You want to be killed or something, you idiots?!"

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**Review??**

**Next one. '**_**Stars'**_**.**

**Summary: John and Randy have an interesting night staring at the stars until they hear the sound of a gunshot. **

**;) Sam**


	34. Stars

**Because I haven't used this in a while—bold is Randy. **_Italics_** are John.**

**This is a short, dark chapter so I suggest that you hold a teddy bear... or someone. ;)  
**

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Stars

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"I cannot believe that they're making us stay together."

Randy and John are all curled down onto the grassy ground, staring up at the sky because that seems to be the only thing they can do. The air's cold, crisp cold, and Randy's biggest concern is that John's right beside him, it's that John's going to possibly—probably—find him with pills and he doesn't want anyone to find him with his pills and that's the last thing he wants to happen.

He sighs as he lets the cold air suffocate his body. Piercing and stabbing right through him. It's making him numb. The stars are barely shining and—**what's there to shine for?** Nothing. Nothing's worth anything anymore. And they know it better than anything and as Randy stares at him, blankly, at that face, at those blue eyes that still dazzle him and as the anger burns, he still feels numb. The anger's there, just so dimmed and dulled, just like the rest of him.

All dim and dull and broken and hurt and nothing's there to spark anything up.

"I like being around you, Randy. I just can't understand why you won't give me a second chance."

"You? A second chance? Didn't I say goodbye to our 'love' or whatever the hell it was—"

"No," John's voice's soft and as he touches Randy's waist and brings him close, and even with the struggling, Randy's too tired to fight back and John knows that as well as anyone can and Randy's face pales at the certainty in John's voice. "Sometimes, goodbye is a second chance."

"I can't forgive you."

"Why, baby? Why?"

"Shut up. Don't call me baby."

"Okay. You might not like me anymore but I'd give myself for you. I want you to know that. I'd rather die than watch you suffer like this. You know that—"

"NO! I don't know that! You keep making me feel safe and then you take it away and crumble my trust of you away all the time! What makes you think that I can trust you again? I've given you more than a second chance, I've given you my heart, myself and you just shattered it away like it's nothing! Well, John, I know what you mean… it really is nothing."

"No! Randy! Please, you gotta trust me on this. I really do love you. And if I can, I'd throw my life away to save yours."

"Oh yeah? I don't believe that!"

The sound of a gunshot collides in the air.

Out of fear and shock, their bodies collide and they find themselves trying to stand up when they see Derek walking towards them, with a gun in his hands and a baby in a baby blue blanket in the other. "Oh, Jonathon, Randall…"

"What the hell was that?!"

John's eyes stir into a darker blue.

Derek brings the baby forward, letting the blue blanket fall out of her chubby body and Randy's heart stops. "Alanna!"

His Alanna.

His precious little baby girl, with such a beautiful, beautiful face, and such pretty beady eyes, with tiny hands waving around in the air, completely unaware of where she is or what's going on or the chances of her being hurt—Randy's heart just tears into shreds. Nothing's left. Too much blood. Randy feels shaky as he steps backwards, having John grab onto his shaking body, tears threatening to fall out of his face.

His Alanna.

His beautiful, beautiful Alanna.

Randy's head exploded. He would not watch her get hurt. He'd rather burn in Hell for all he cared. But not her. She didn't deserve this. Randy whipped his head to look at John's face, pale, so shocked, and he grabs onto Randy's shoulders, bringing him close, and whispering into his ear, "sometimes, goodbye's a second chance," he whispers. Kissing his cheek and walking over towards them.

Randy can't hear a word. Panic arises. What's John doing?! He watches as Derek's smirk widens and his heart thuds darkly into his chest. He's falling back down. He's numb and he's scared. He watches as John stares back at him, with a distressed look on his face as Derek willingly gives him Alanna. John walks back towards Randy, letting the child protectively slip into his arms and all that Randy can feel is a bang of fear deep inside of him.

"John—"

"It's the only way I can make you trust me…"

"Oh, John…" tears fill Randy's eyes, slowly cascading down his face. "Please, don't…"

John walks back towards them, and they motion for John to walk with him. John looks back at Randy, sighing softly. "I-I…I love you."

Before Randy can say anything, John walks away with them. And Randy's left alone. And as he looks up…

**What are you shining for, stars?**

_I'm shining for you._

__

**I know…poor John. ): **

**Next one? '**_**Hold My Hand'**_**.**

**Summary: John has one last night with Randy.**

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	35. Hold My Hand

**More angst/fluff. More of the fluff this time…except the ending.**

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Hold My Hand

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Randy runs his hand through his daughter's short hair and he looks at her as she puts her fist in her mouth and drool seeps from her mouth and her beady eyes stare up at Randy and a smile crosses her mouth as she sucks onto her fist as if it's the most delicious treat ever and Randy's heart tears into pieces, seeing his daughter, so unaware, so adorable, so little…

She laughs, a beautiful laugh that makes Randy's heart melt but nothing can make him feel better knowing that he's ruined John's life and what could he do to save John? What would he do to make John feel better? He doesn't know really. And he doesn't think he'll ever know. The guilt's burning so hard inside of his body that he doesn't know what to do and then he hears a voice outside and Randy puts Alanna into Miz's arms and walks outside only to be caught by a hand and pulled into the bushes.

"John?" Randy's voice is apologetic, confused and shocked all at once and as he runs his hand through Randy's cheek, making Randy melt even more on the inside as he leans down to kiss him and Randy kisses back without the need for another word. Randy looks deep into John's eyes and tears threaten to burst. "Oh John…"

"Shh," John says, pressing his finger to Randy's lips. "No need for words and tears. I have one night and I don't want to spend it crying my eyes out, Randy." He grins and that grin's enough to make Randy punch John playfully on his shoulder.

"Where are we going?"

John thinks slightly about it, biting his lower lip as he grabs onto Randy's hand and pulls Randy deep into the forest and as John drags him towards a bright leaved tree that stands out and presses Randy to it. "Aren't we dirty?" Randy arches his eyebrow.

"That's not what I want," John says, rolling his eyes.

"What then, Jonathon? Since your mind's always so-"

"I want a game." John says eagerly and his eyes light up and Randy laughs as John slips his hand towards Randy's waist and pulls him close, "I want a game of hide and seek and you're seeking me."

"Oh, tempting," Randy says sarcastically.

"Come on, babe…just this one, can I do something I want?" he pouts those perfect pink lips and Randy just has to give in as he nods his head and Randy closes his head and presses his arm towards the tree, and starts counting from 1 to 20 and he feels like a little child looking for another one of his peers and when he's done counting, he starts looking around and stops by the lake when he sees an abnormal colored leaf by the lake and as he leans down he lets his hand glide down the icy, cold water.

Randy smiles as he lets the coldness calm down his body and in that second, he's being knocked down into the water and when he looks up, he sees John Cena laughing as if it's the most humorous thing ever, making Randy scowl at him. "Cena! You are so dead when I get out of here!"

John can't stop laughing as he clutches his stomach and Randy walks out of the water and smirks, "give me a hug, John."

"No, no, this is my favorite t-shirt," he says as he runs his hand through his Attitude Adjustment green and black shirt and Randy shakes his head before he tackles him towards a tree, making John laugh as Randy's soaked body drenches John's in a matter of what feels like seconds. "This is one night, huh?"

Randy steps back and nods his head as John leans down and captures Randy's lips into a sweet, passionate kiss and when John leans down, he licks his lips and laughs. "You taste like salt."

"Whose fault is that?" Randy jokes.

John pulls his hand out, "hold my hand, sweetie. It's a long walk home."

"I wish it really was home. You know, back to the hotel, Ted and Cody fighting around about some video game, Becky and Nathan calling just to check on me, watching re-runs of Friends and pretending that life's not a routine even when it is…" Randy says as he grabs onto John's hand and feels John's tight grip.

"I'm not letting you go."

John walks with Randy and he stares back at Randy, with a not so serious face, as he asks, "You watch Friends?" he laughs at the thought of Randy Orton cuddling in a sofa and watching Ross and Rachael try to fix and break their relationship then a thought strikes John's head, "so we're like Ross and Rachael, aren't we?"

"Meant to be but just won't realize it," Randy's voice is soft.

They stop walking yet John's hand is still gripped to Randy's and John puts his other hand on top of theirs as he looks towards Randy's eyes. "I don't want to be like anyone but John Cena and Randy Orton." He whispers. "This is our story. Our horrible, sad story. And you make it all worthwhile. You make darkness feel like light. You make horror feel like love. You make me feel whole…"

"Our story," Randy repeats. "There was Romeo and Juliet. There was Ross and Rachael. Cuddy and House. Edward and Bella…"

"And there's John and Randy," John slips his hand towards Randy's chin and makes him look straight into John's eyes as John presses his lips to Randy's, one kiss is all that it takes to make and break them.

John lets his hand slides into his pocket as he places an object into Randy's ear, "I won't die knowing that this is supposed to be yours." John makes a movement to leave but Randy grabs onto his hand.

"No, don't go!" Randy's voice is serious. "I love you! Please…"

John's head twists to look at Randy's face, pale into the moonlight, tears burning down his cheeks. "Please…don't…I love you…John, no…"

"I love you too," John whispers, "but I have to go. I don't want them to hurt you. I'd rather die than let them hurt you or anyone you love ever again."

"John…"

One last kiss.

"Bye, Randy."

Goodbye?

Why?

Randy watches as John leaves with every piece of his heart breaking at each step he takes and he looks down onto his hand to see John's engagement ring sparkling so dully into the moonlight and he slips the ring into his finger without another word as he tries to make the tears stop.

"John…why?"

__

**Aww…poor John/Randy.**

**Next one?**

'_**Precious Treasure'.**_

_**Summary: Randy finds a map hidden inside of Sergeant Teddy…question is: a map to what?**_

**Review?**

**;) Sam**


	36. Precious Treasure

**I feel like this will be a good chapter.**

* * *

Precious Treasure

* * *

Randy looks down at his ring, or John's ring, he still can't believe that John wants to go give Randy this after he'd treated him so badly and just remembering how cruel he'd been to John had made his stomach slosh horribly as he grabs onto John's teddy bear from John's bed and sleeps onto it, bringing the fluffy bear close to him as he runs his hand through the short fur and he smells the scent of John burn through the air as he snuggles deeper into the bear, looking at Miz who's asleep with Alanna in his lap, protectively. Shockingly, the Miz is a good parent.

Randy shakes his head and looks back at Ted and Cody, in each other's arms, the image is burning in his head and he just stares at it before he looks back at the bear into his arms, running his hand through his back and then his eyes catch a glint of white inside of the bear's torn spine as he takes it out and looks at it carefully. A white paper out of the bear's spine and he opens it to look at the slightly illegible handwriting and he shakes his head, a treasure map? He chuckles under his breath and holds the bear closer but in the middle of the night, he kicks off his sheets and walks outside, looking back and grabbing Sergeant Teddy, too as he pokes his head outside of the door and walks outside.

The cool air greets him. The moonlight makes it easier for him to see everything. The cold water of the lake is glistening just at the glint of the moon and Randy's smile forms even though he's so very broken on the inside without John and he steps away from the cabin, opening the white paper again as he tucks the bear under his armpit and looks at the directions of his map.

* * *

"It's been two hours! Where is this place?"

He stops when he realizes that he's heading towards the cave but shakes his head and walks inside even though there's a feeling in his stomach that tells him not to and as he looks around the cave without another word slipping out of his mouth, and suddenly, he feels as if this is a horrible idea and makes an attempt to go back but the bear suddenly falls out of his arm and he leans down and when as he twists his eyes, he sees a glint of something—something…

He hunches the bear on his back as he crawls towards the glint and he stares at it only to realize that there's water there. He decides to go take a drink before he goes back and as he takes a cool sip of water, he feels two arms snake towards his waist, "let go!" Randy exclaims but as his head twists towards the face of John Cena, Randy laughs, "what are you doing here?"

"Sneaking out."

"I thought yesterday…"

"Damn. You must be an idiot, Orton," Randy rolls his eyes. "I will not leave my boy all alone for even one night. After all, I can't live without you and if you get hurt, I might just drop dead."

"Oh, Cena."

"Let's go find your treasure, Mr."

"You wrote the damn map."

"You knew that all along?"

Randy laughs and nods his head. "Nobody is silly enough to put a map inside of a bear other than you, Cena."

John reaches for his bear and snorts at him as if he's angry, "my bear."

Randy laughs and pinches John's cheek, "you are so cute."

"I'm 32," John reminds him and Randy shakes his head before he holds onto John's hand as John leads him to wherever. All that Randy cares is that he's with John right now. John is his light in darkness. He's the reason that Randy wakes up every day. And having him next to him is more than he could've asked for. They stop towards the lake and Randy stares into it, "I still don't get it."

"I want you to dig inside of here."

Randy rolls his head. "Last time I dug for two hours just to find a ring. I have to dig again and what do I find, Jonathon?"

"You tell me."

"You like the water-beach scene, don't you?"

"I love the water-beach scene. Now, dig, baby." Randy shakes his head as he crawls through the dirt with his bare hands again and John lays down beside him, staring at him as he digs through the dirt again to obtain his treasure and after about ten minutes, Randy shakes his head. "Nothing's worth this," he says.

John laughs. "Randy…"

"I know. I know." Randy shakes his head. "I'm supposed to be optimistic. This and that." He pulls out a box and he looks up at John and shakes his head. "Some treasure chest. It looks like a 5 cent box I get from the cold store."

"Oh shut up."

Randy opens the box with no hesitation and as his eyes fall onto the empty box, he raises his eyebrow. "You're joking, right?"

He hears John's laugh as Randy whips his head towards him and shakes his head, "you made me dig again for an empty box?!"

"It's not empty."

Randy raises his eyebrow, "what do you mean it's not empty? It's as empty as your head, Cena."

"I put my love inside."

"What?"

"People say that you can't put love in a box. I tried."

Randy waits to understand and he smacks John's head, "love is a feeling."

"You should've told me that when I asked you what love is."

"You thought it was a virus, Mr. Romantic."

John runs his hand down Randy's back and they end up looking at the black sky, all curled up in each other. "Randy, I miss being at home."

"I know…I want to go home, too."

"I miss having to look around your locker for any stupid lovey dovey messages and roses or any type of that sappy junk."

"I miss pretending not to care."

They both look into each other's eyes as Randy pulls himself farther on John's body to look at his face. "I miss having a mask. Too many emotions. I've never cried so much in my entire life as much as I've cried in these past few weeks."

"Yeah, masks just keep everything in."

"You hated me because I was just like you."

"You are like me, Randy. I don't know how I could love you so much when I beat the crap out of myself all the time."

"I know…it's all strange. They say you can't love anyone if you can't love yourself but here I am, and here you are and we're in love…right?"

"I—I'm not sure anymore."

Silence overthrows the air as they both snuggle into each other, forgetting that the sand is rough and ignoring the voices of any creature inside of the forest and eventually, they both fall asleep.

**Where is our precious treasure?**

_I-I think it's supposed to be you. Is it love?_

* * *

**Looks like Randy and John are uncertain about their relationship… that's bad. Review??**

**;) Sam**


	37. Eyes

**Last time we left off, John and Randy were uncertain about their relationship. Half the story isn't over yet. :P Anyways, brace yourself for a _SAD _chapter.  
**

* * *

Eyes

* * *

Eyes.

Beautiful blue eyes.

Randy Orton runs his hand through a picture of John Cena before he shoves it back towards the drawer, leaning down towards his pillow and trying to fall asleep but he can't and he knows he can't and as he looks around the room, trying to escape, trying to forget, he can't either.

Why did their relationship always have to be broken?

Is it a sign that they're not even supposed to have a relationship?

Randy's eyes are watering but he doesn't want to cry anymore. He'd never been so broken until he and John Cena were wrapped into this mess, maybe—just maybe—that they'll be better off alone. He rolls to his side, his thoughts all on John, his John, his precious sweet John, and he doesn't know if it's love or not.

**You've always wondered how love feels like, Randy. How do you know that you've found it? **Randy isn't sure about anything anymore. He wonders and wonders and ponders on the thought. He'd felt something when he was with John but how does he know if it's happiness or love or just a stupid plain feeling that won't go away? How does he know for sure? Love is a strong feeling and Randy isn't sure of how it feels and means.

Eyes.

Beautiful blue eyes.

All stuck in his head.

And he can't get rid of the thoughts. He doesn't want to anyways. He stands up and looks around and his heart's thudding oh so quickly in his chest as he comes with the conclusion. Maybe their relationship isn't meant to be.

**What's love?**

_What's happiness?_

They're both unsure. Maybe it really is time to break.

He hears the sound of John Cena's sneakers—now, he just knows the sound—and he leans down towards Randy, capturing his lips into a kiss and shaking his head. "It still has his sparks but they're fading…are we fading?"

Randy stares into John's face. "Yeah…they're fading," Randy whispers. "So—is it over?"

"It's over…"

Randy buries his head into John's chest as John runs his hand down Randy's back, "it's over," John repeats. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay…"

But they both know it's not okay.

Somehow John and Randy end up in bed together, cuddling onto each other, trying to keep the last happy memories they had in—what? Two-three months ago? Randy's head pressing to John's. They're both breaking and cracking on the inside. "I'm sorry." They both whisper apologies but they don't know why. They just feel like they both broke it apart. When Randy wakes up in the morning, he rolls to the other end of the bed where John is supposed to be but he's not there and as Randy registers that the white piece of paper on his bedside is from John, he takes it in his hands.

All that Randy can register is the blood on the white paper.

_Randy…I hurt myself…I-I'm sorry…_

"John? John?!"

Randy stands up, trying to register the words that are on the white piece of paper and trying to understand why or what or how as the thoughts spiral through his head, exploding—**why, John? Why?**

_You'd never understand._

His thoughts spiral out of control.

Was yesterday just the last day he'd ever see those eyes open? The thoughts were raking through his body. The shock and horror still burning in his body.

**Eyes are meant to show the doorway of your soul.**

_I have no soul…no eyes…_

* * *

**Review?? Next chapter is '**_**Abandoned'**_**. Need to come up for a plot for that one. Not sure where to take this story now.**

**;) Sam**


	38. Abandoned

**I'm updating! Yay!**

* * *

Abandoned

* * *

Abandoned.

He's all abandoned.

The blood is streaking through John's back and it's intoxicating him and he takes another deep breath as he looks up at them all with a sharp, steady breath and he shakes from the coldness as they stare at his naked body and he takes another breath as the strong scent of blood burns through his body and he's left on the floor with no sounds coming out of his mouth as Derek stomps on his back and John grabs onto Derek's hand, taking them to the floor, and taking the knife from Derek's hand forcefully before ripping it through Derek's body.

"This is for Ted."

John lets the knife fall as Derek no longer breathes.

This will haunt him forever.

But he didn't know what else he should've done.

They needed to get out.

"John?!"

He hears the sound of Randy as he surges from the woods and John pulls his hand out so that Randy can fall into them and their bodies together just pressing against each other—it used to bring so much warmth to John's heart but right now, nothing can make him feel warm and he doesn't know if it's because he'd killed a person or because he doesn't love Randy anymore and he's not sure he ever did.

"John! What-what happened?"

John's body's bruised and bloodied from the fight.

Blood flowing from his shoulders and from the right side of his face, a bruise also resided on the right side of the face and John pressed Randy's body towards him out of habit as Randy's tears streamed down his face.

"When will this all end?!"

"I don't know, Ran…I don't know…"

That was when John realized how horrible Randy looked like.

Randy was shivering from coldness and his eyes were yellow and his muscles were weak and his body was so pale that it was yellowing and dizziness was overwhelming Randy's head and with Randy's body pressing against his, John can hear his fast heartbeat. "Randy…" John laid down Randy on the bloodied floor and he brushed his hand down Randy's face, "what's going on?"

Ted was running towards them with a white kit as he leaned down. "Randy, no!"

"What's going on?"

Ted looked into John's eyes as he laid the white kit down onto the floor and he opened it up to see Ted pull out a pint of blood from his kit and Randy's eyes shut tight from fatigue and John watched as Ted took a syringe out as pulled the blood in. "What happened?" John asked and confusion and concern stirred into his voice.

"He fainted from anemia."

"What does that mean?"

Ted wiped the tears out of his eyes as he sobbed. "It means that Randy's going to die if he doesn't get treated…" he whispered in the softest voice.

John's heart thudded in horror as he looked down at Randy, with his brown hair and his toned skin was now pale as John kissed Randy's mouth in the softest kisses ever before he looked up at Ted. "What can we do to save him? There's got to be a way!"

"We need to go back to reality. Soon. We need a hospital, John. We need doctors around. You don't want to leave him abandoned, do you?"

* * *

**Poor Ran.**

**He's dying… dying Randy is so cute…**

**Anyways, review??**

**;) Sam**


	39. Dreams

**Yeah, I do love my cliffies.**

* * *

Dreams

* * *

John's still awake.

It's been two hours since Randy's fainted and all that John can think about is how pale his body is and how brittle he looks like and his always broken blue eyes are so shut tight that he looks like he's dead and even if Ted and Cody assure him that Randy will be fine, it still sends shivers down John's spine to see Randy so in pain, so unable to function, so hurt, and all he wants to do is fix Randy but he can't and he runs his hand through Randy's brown hair and wonders why the feel of his rough hand brushing against the brittle hair just hurts as he hears the sound of Ted and Cody walking inside enthusiastically, with a smile so bright that it makes white look like black and as Ted walks towards John, his grin melts into a frown as he realizes that Randy's still out cold. "John, he'll be okay."

John's eyes don't go away from Randy's body and he shakes his head as he brushes his hot hand against Randy's cold skin. "No, he won't be."

A sigh escapes John's lips.

"Don't you see? Randy's dreams are being crushed under a spell, knowing that he's going to die," John's body trembles and shivers and shakes as he let his hand glide back towards Randy's hair. "He's going to die…and he still doesn't know how love feels like. And he wants it so bad. He wants to be loved before he dies and he just doesn't feel that way…it's not going to be okay, Ted. He's going to wake up, wishing that he was already dead and when he's finally going to die; he regrets ever thinking of death and wishes to be alive…"

His blue eyes turn as soft as ever. "John, what do we do? How can we make it all okay for Randy?"

"Ted, I'm sorry but I need you to help me love him," John says, kissing Randy's lips, feeling the moisture of his pink lips as he runs his hand through Randy's side, feeling the coldness of Randy's sweet lips and John stands up, staring at Randy's body, seeing and knowing that he wants to know how to love him. He wants to know the feeling. He wants to help Randy. He wants to fulfill Randy's hidden wishes. "I see you and Cody and I know that I want our relationship to be that perfect but every time we try, we crash. It's like fate's way of saying that we can't be together."

"You can be together."

Their head twists towards Miz who's carrying Cody, and standing by the doorway, slipping the broken legged Cody towards one of the beds before he walks over to John, and Ted walks towards Cody, leaning down to see that Cody has Alanna cradled in his arms and right now, John's just happy that everyone's safe and tries not to think of the still sedated Randy on the bed.

Miz sits beside Randy, on his bed, staring at him and those dark, solid blue eyes of him are melted into pools of warm water.

"You know, when I had John," Miz starts, and John's attention goes towards Miz's face, his usual happy smile's now so sad that it breaks John's heart to see someone as innocent as Miz so shattered in his own world, 'I thought that I might never be in his maturity level. You know? I was this little kid and I fell in love with John. John, who was more mature than I'll ever be. John, the guy that's been making sure that I didn't hurt myself when I went to a party or just a day at the bar… I felt like I can't fall in love with John because I was too young to know what love was. Yes, I'm 28 but this energetic feeling inside of me doesn't really reflect on John's poetic, sophisticated nature. I felt like crap next to him. But I fell in love with him anyways and then, when Travis came back from my past, I brought him into this mess—and—and—he's—dead—he doesn't even know that I love him but he told me that he loved me…then I'd never seen him again…and—and—and…"

John's arms wrap around Miz's waist and he pulls him close into a supportive embrace and he hears a sob break Miz and John from their embrace as their eyes lock to see an open eyed Randy with puffy red eyes and a broken smirk and he watches as Randy tries to stand up and him and Miz break the embrace, trying to help Randy up who pushes them both away. "Randy?" John's voice is barely a whisper.

"You left me so you can be with Mizanin!"

"W—?"

Randy starts to walk out and he looks back at Cody, wobbling over towards Cody, taking Alanna from his embrace and walks out, without another sound, leaving John astounded. Randy thought that he and Miz were together?! John starts to walk off, feeling Miz's hand grab onto his wrist.

"I'm sorry…"

John rips his hand away from Miz's and stares at him with rage in his eyes, burning at the back of his throat, "Sorry?! Randy's out there, now! Who knows what he'll do to himself! And—and—"

John stops when he sees Miz start to shake. "Hey, Miz, I—"

Miz runs out of the cabin as well, leaving John there to stir what's going on. Don't you break just everything? Poor Randy. Poor Mizzy. Why'd you have to do this to them? John takes it all in and he's debating whether to go after any of them since he seems to be a breaker and part of him is screaming not to go out.

He goes out anyways.

"Randy?! Miz?!"

No sound. No sound at all.

Just the silence that's everlasting through this horror story of theirs. The scent of broken dreams and painful love drives through John's body.

There's no one around here anymore. No one of Drake's group. All dead. By their hands. Yet they still can't find their escape. He remembers thinking that now they're gone, they can start looking for a way out but there is no way out, just a door saying 'The End' and they're still lost and alone in this haunted blackened life that's become stained with their names.

"Miz?! Randy?!"

No sound at all.

He looks around, peeks through the woods but he can't really think at all and fear is just provoking through his body, thinking that something's happened to them both. He'd never forgive himself.

Cody and Ted are in their cabin, Ted knowing that he doesn't want to leave Cody alone even if there's no danger and he hears the sound of a moan as he looks back to see Ted carrying the damaged Rhodes boy and John's heart beats as hard as ever. "Cody? Ted? What's going on?" he whispers, in a soft voice.

"We're looking for Miz and Randy with you…"

Just then, they hear a horrifying scream…

* * *

**Yeah, definitely love my cliffies. Definitely a suspense story. Lol. **

**Review??**

**;) Sam**


	40. Rated

**The suspense is finally gone and we get to know what happened. Yay.  
**

* * *

Rated

* * *

"Miz? Randy?"

John looks around for a sight of the boys as he shoves through the forest path and he hears Ted's faint muffled yelling for both of them and horror reels through John's body as he looks through them, seeing the vivid blue and black colors around him and he stops when he sees blood on the floor and nausea overtakes him and suddenly, he doesn't want to go any longer, thinking of all the blood that's burning down onto the floor and he sees a faint hint of tan skin and he walks over to the body that's on the floor—Randy…

John's heart just basically tears out of his chest as he leans down towards Randy's body, touching the soft flesh of his face, hoping, just hoping that he'll feel movement and when he does, his heart is basically ready to burst out of his chest as he kisses the top of Randy's head and he watches Randy's eyes slowly flutter open, staring deep into John's eyes, smiling and pressing his head close to John's lap.

"Randy?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened?"

That jerks Randy out of his thoughts as he looks up, shaking and shivering, gripping onto John's shirt.

"Randy?"

No response comes from the younger man.

"Randy?"

"I'm sorry."

"Who did this?"

"Alanna found a gun…she accidentally shot me…"

John's eyes widen and he thought that Miz and Ted have disposed of most of the guns around here after they were all killed, John shakes his head, and he doesn't want to think about the kill as he looks around, "where's Alanna?"

Randy whimpers and shakes his head, "I don't know."

That's what Randy's been apologizing about.

"Don't worry, Randy. I'm going go find her as soon as I can, sweetie. I just need to get you to the cabin."

He takes Randy in his arms, and he feels Randy press his head towards John's chest, silent as tears fall from his eyes, thinking of his Alanna, his beautiful, utterly sweet and tiny Alanna that had crawled away from him after she'd heard the gunshot that had frightened her, and as John lies Randy back on a bed, John's ready to go away but Randy holds onto John's hand, "tell me that she's gonna be okay, John. Tell me, please."

Randy's desperate to know that his child's fine and it's scaring him to know that the child might be dead. His pretty Alanna that hadn't even had a chance to live her own life… "Please, tell me that she's alright, John."

"I can't make that promise, Randy."

Randy gasps softly but nods his head, understanding and turns to his side, and John descends from the room, out into the thick air that seems to overpower and oppress him and he looks around, hearing Ted and Cody's call for their friend, John makes his way over to them and explains the situation, seeing a nod from Ted as he walks off back into the shadows.

"Alanna?"

John feels like an idiot, calling out for a child but the name slips off his tongue anyways as he looks around for the baby and when he sees a small figure near the lake, his heart stops beating as he rushes over to her and holds onto her, seeing the child cry and sob and he's just happy that she's alive.

She spits out eaten sand and he looks around for a way out and as he walks away, he hears a growl and looks back to find a hungry lion growling for his prey and John steps back, running his fingers through the child's flesh and he doesn't know how to get out of this mess as he sprints off, hearing the fierce growl still too close to him and when he looks around and finds nothing, his heart beats slower and he manages to let a simple, sad smile on his face.

That's when the animal attacked.

The claws viciously maiming and marring through John's body as John tries to hold the child away from him but it's not long until John tries to slip away from the animal's grip, tasting blood in his mouth and feeling pain throb in every inch of his muscles as he moves away, holding the child close to him as he starts running again, so out of breath and when he's completely and utterly sure that the animal isn't around anymore, he looks down at the child in his arms.

She's dead.

All part of a Rated R horror story.

John's breath hiccups in his throat as he lets his hand run down the dead skin of hers, and he feels his heart explode into pieces on the floor of his body and he can't really do anything about it. "Oh, God…oh no…"

* * *

**What? I had to kill someone. I felt rather dark today so I picked the little girl. The next chapter will be of them finally getting out of there and of Randy finding out of course and of realizing what happened to the Miz. let's just hope I don't kill anyone else until then.  
**

**Review??**

**X Sam. **


	41. Teamwork

* * *

Teamwork

* * *

"Randy?"

The twenty nine year old was all huddled up in his bed, peaceful face and drool seeping from the corner of his lip and John watches him, running his finger down the flesh of Randy's neck, and when he feels Randy's steady, soft breathing, a smile crosses his face as he kisses Randy's forehead.

Randy's eyes slowly flutter. "John." A smile forms on Randy's slips and now, John's heart shatters knowing that he's going to break that smile.

"Randy…"

"Is she okay? I know that she's okay. You found her, right?" Randy's eyes are pooling with hope and _you have to crush that hope, John_ and John's hand brushes along Randy's face which makes Randy know that something's wrong, "John? What happened?" his voice is cracked and the hope is crushed and he looks like a child who's just found out that there's no Santa Clause.

"Randy…she's…there was a lion…and I tried—but—she—"

And that's all that Randy needs before tears fall from his face and sobs falls from his lips and John feels like he doesn't have a heart anymore, swallowed into the ocean of Randy's pain, he sits on the bed and feels Randy's arms wrap around his waist as the tears stained the clothing, all of Randy's emotions just staining and soaking John's clothing and he doesn't really care.

It doesn't take them more than thirty minutes for them both to fall into sleep.

* * *

The sound of the door sliding open wakes them all up and they look up to see Miz, who's standing there with ripped clothing and messy hair and he doesn't say a word as he slips into one of the bed and runs his hand through his hair and he looks around, Ted's with Cody, Randy's with John but he's got no one and how he wants to hug someone and cry in their chest.

"Miz?"

"I saw Johnny's body."

Their eyes all fill with concern.

Miz's eyes brim with tears as he stands up and starts shaking, "wedged between the rocks, I think I saw his hand—and when I moved some of the rocks, God, he was there. Smashed. Dead. Blood staining his clothes. And—"he sobs, unable to control the words that are slipping off his tongue as he whimpers and they stare at the once happy superstar but now, staring at him now, breaking and scared, they know that he looks just like a child, unable to understand the full concept of why.

"Those bastards…" he mumbles under his breath.

Ted stands up and walks over to Miz and Miz launches himself to Ted, crying and seems to forget all about his epidemic with Cena and Miz knows that he's never forgotten about his epidemic with John Cena but seeing that body, all bloodied and battered, the blood that stains John Morrison's body, it's scaring the hell out of the Miz just remembering and he watches as Randy and John makes his way to them while Cody stares, unable to move because of his broken leg and they try to calm down the shattered, unable to breathe superstar.

"He's dead…he's really dead…"

When Miz's face is sticky with dry tears, he finally decides to sleep and as Randy and Ted descend to their beds, as Miz instructed, John leans down, "Miz?"

"Yeah?"

"Was it really that horrible?"

Miz shudders and since he's so dry out of tears, he nods his head, "so horrible…so much blood…no one deserves to die that way…"

All John can think of is what would happen to Randy when it's his time and seeing the Miz, he knows that he's never going to cope well and he goes out to think for a moment, remembering the passageway he found in the cave, as the memories hit him with a bang, everything and just everything…they need the fresh air of the city back, they need to go out, they can't stay in this bloodshed forest forever and when he returns to them, he finds Randy and the Miz on the floor, both of them hugging each other tightly as their tear stained faces glint in the moonlight…

* * *

It wasn't long until they were out of there.

The passageway that John had found his teddy bear in was the way out, the black tunnels were finally put to use as John tried to guide everyone from memories of his childhood staying here and soon, they were out of that place, into a forest that everyone had known of, and had gotten to a road and the first thing that John wanted to do was to wash this horrible scent off of him. In the end, it was all team effort that had helped Randy get out of his miserable hole enough to find society once again. Randy wouldn't talk to anyone and John felt so guilty about it. Could he have done something about it?

_I could've._

**Don't blame yourself, John. All my fault.**

In the end, they all stay in the same hotel just in case any of them needed anything. Cody and Ted are gone as soon as they check in to check Cody's leg and promised that they'd get Randy his medicine and Randy wants to be in a room alone but John suggests that he'd stay with him anyways. Miz stays just two doors down from John and Randy, talking to John Hennigan's family about John himself, unable to face the fact that his tag team partner's dead but still, able to understand that these things happen and he's supposed to move on but he feels like he can't.

John steps out of the shower, the scent of their adventures and horrors have all faded into nothing as he sits down beside a Randy who had taken a bath ages ago and is now watching an sci-fi movie that John knows Randy has no interest in at all and he sits down next to him, running his hand down Randy's face and Randy looks at him, smiling in the softest way possible, "John?"

"Yeah, Ran?"

"Do you think I could've done anything to save her?"

"No."

Randy bites down his lip and buries his face in his hands, not crying, not sobbing, just trying to think clearly, "how am I going to tell Sammy? She'll be devastated."

"I don't know, Randy."

"My little girl…she didn't even have a chance to say a real word, John. She doesn't know anything or anyone…and she's dead. Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?" his stomach churns as he presses his knees to his stomach, trying to shuffle out the nausea that's building up inside of him.

John nods his head, "but we'll get through this, Randy."

"I don't know about that, John. I don't know anything anymore."

Not another word is uttered through the entire silence as it suffocates both of them. And as the night turns deadly silent, he hears Randy making calls to his doctor and asking him more about his leukemia, but in the end, Randy falls asleep in three in the morning. John doesn't.

They're a team, aren't they?

But Randy has no faith in his team anymore.

* * *

**Any reviews, sweethearts?**

**X Sam. **


	42. Standing Still

* * *

Standing Still

* * *

**You stand and you're waiting for some sort of miracle to happen.**

Randy's body is bathed with cold water as he moves away, feeling as if his airways are closing and he hears the sound of the bathroom click open, only to see John standing there and a blush creeps on Randy's face, hidden by his tan, he moves quickly to wear a towel and move away and John doesn't say a word as Randy shuts the door from behind him. John hears the sound of Randy's soft, and steady breathing even from where he stands, replaying in his head, as he makes his way towards the shower, opening the still cold water as he steps in, trying to collect his thoughts.

It's his fault that Alanna's dead.

He bites down his lower lip, remembering the replay of yesterday's talk with Sam, seeing Randy's face crumples in pain and anger and rage and agony all at once as he throws the phone to the floor and says that he's going out for a smoke. John can practically inhale the smoke all over again as he takes a deep breath of fresh air around him, looking around with sad blue eyes, thinking of Randy and Randy only. How can he fix this? How can he love Randy? Randy wants it so much, he wants to feel loved yet John doesn't know how to help Randy, how to make him feel the type of love he needed to feel and as he steps out of the too cold shower, letting the water drip from his forehead to his back and he feels like every step takes an eternity as he changes in the bathroom, the already soaked black cloth of his Attitude Adjustment shirt and his drenched ripped pants are cold but slowly warm and infuse in his skin and he knows that he's supposed to be out of the bathroom yet he stays, his thoughts still made of Randy.

After what feels like an eternity of thought, he walks out of the bathroom to see Randy on his bed and a phone in his hands, "what?!"

Just in that moment, John's eyes trail up and down Randy's body. There are tiny spots of white along Randy's neck from the lack of blood and his body's drained out of body fat, his once full thighs had reduced in size, but Randy looks normal. He doesn't look like he's suffering from leukemia and he looks like any normal person that he's pass across the street and that just makes the pain harder, knowing that something that looks so perfect has to break into nothing and nothing at all. "I have a year, John. A year."

John's heart is swallowed up by an ocean of pain, seeing how those blue eyes are cracked and ruptured. It's painful. It's completely and utterly painful.

"I swear that I'm going to make everyday count."

"Promises are made to be broken, Cena." There's an edge to his voice, that edge that he used to hear from the Randy that hated every fiber of his being, but the twinkle in his eyes suggest that he's just angry and John can relate, knowing that your life is limited is too much to bare and John's just glad that he's here to bare it with him, to make it less sufferable for Randy, and he sits beside him and the silence overwashes them for a while.

"Why does this have to happen to me? Can't I have one day of peace?! Why does something bad always have to happen...? Why can't anything just leave me alone?"

"I don't know, Randy." John doesn't know how to respond to Randy's sudden outbreak as the anger burns in Randy's eyes and he tries to stand up but feels so fatigue and so tired that he sits back down onto the bed, feeling the ache burn to every muscle in his body and Randy presses his head against John's chest. "Can I do anything, Randy?"

"You can't stop time."

"But I can make it all worthwhile."

"No, you can't! I'm tired of all of this! I just want it to stop!" Randy exclaims, and the rage slowly fades from his face, the redness of his face fading into paleness as he sighs softly, clutching onto his stomach and presses his head into John's chest as hard as he could, wanting to smother in his scent. "...I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Randy. I wouldn't been upset, too."

The silence passes through the room.

John kisses the top of Randy's head, watching him move from above him, both of their soaked and drenched clothing sticking towards each other. "Let's just stand still in time."

"I don't think I can do that either...I can't just go on with my life like nothing's happening. I can't act like I did before. I've been a complete and utter stranger. I don't even know who I am, John. How messed up is that? I'm scared...I don't want to die," Randy's voice cracks towards the end and John watches as Randy's heavy eyelids just shut tight and he runs his hand down Randy's back as he hears Randy's snores across the room.

And tomorrow, time would just stand still.

He'd promise that he'll make it worthwhile, wouldn't he?

He just doesn't know how...

_Why does this all have to be messed up? Why can't anything be right for once? Why...?_

* * *

**I'm not sure what to think of this...**

**Next one. _'Dying'_.**

**Summary of Chapter 43: John tries to make a day in the fair enjoyable for Randy. Miz finds a boy on the street that knows more about him than he does about himself. Cody wants to play but Ted is afraid of him getting hurt.**

**That's basically it. **

**X Sam. **


	43. Dying

* * *

Dying

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Randy doesn't know how John's persuaded him to go to the fair.

He hates fairs and John knows that but John still persuades him in some way that Randy can't remember and as they walk around, looking back to see Cody holding his crutches but looking around for something as Ted holds onto his side, making sure that Cody doesn't fall and Miz's usual hyper and happy mood is plastered with pain and sadness, no words coming out of his lips as he walks off and splits with them before he can say another word, knowing that if he's in trouble, he can call just any one of them.

Randy sighs.

"Want me to go get some cotton candy?"

John's trying to lighten the mood that Randy seems to have darkened but there seems to be no way out of the darkness as John kisses Randy ever so lightly on his lips and walks off, returning with a stick of cotton candy, and biting through the sugar. He gives Randy the stick after the bite, "you want any?"

Randy just stares at him, too sad to answer. Too pained by the words of his soon to be death. "No."

"Come on, Ran, turn that frown upside down."

The emotionless of Randy's face makes John drop the candy from his hand and walk towards him, hugging him, kissing Randy's cheek and feeling him shake in John's embrace, scared, completely and utterly scared makes John feel just as fearful for his Randy's death and he can't do anything about it.

Then just watch him suffer.

Unfair.

Just not fair.

**Why is this happening to me, John?**

_I don't know, Randy. I don't know…_

**Why is this happening to us, John?**

_Just wasn't meant to be._

**I hate this. I hate all of this!**

_Randy…_

Every breath John takes just reminds him of Randy.

_God, Randy…_

* * *

"Hello, would you sign me my picture?"

A little boy holds up a photo of the Miz and Miz smiles; it's rare to find fans of him, and now, seeing the green eyed child smile happily at him, he takes the photo from him and leans down to take the blue pen, letting it hit against the paper. He fakes a wider smile as he gives the paper to the child.

"I haven't seen you in Raw for a long time, Mizzy."

_Mizzy_.

His smile drops. His thoughts of John Morrison clouding his head as he stands up and tries not to break into tears, "yes…well, I had very important things to do."

"John Morrison hasn't been in Smackdown for a long time, too."

"He's gone away."

"Is he coming back?"

Miz's lip twitches. "No."

"Is he happy?"

Miz's eyes gleam to a shade of pure blue, "I just hope so."

"Do you miss him?"

"Yes, he's my best friend."

"Then you should be happy if he's happy, right?"

_**I can't.**_

Miz nods his head and tells the child that he has to go and he runs towards the bathroom and falls to the floor and just cries, sobbing and crying and he doesn't care about who might walk in. It's just too painful.

"Johnny…please…come back…"

He clutches onto his aching stomach, letting his hair drench with sweat and he wants to hold onto John's body even one more time before he's gone away forever because that's all he needs, isn't it?

"John…please…"

* * *

"I want to go on a roller coaster, Teddy!"

For the tenth time, after complaining, Ted finally twists his head and shakes his head. "No."

"But Ted—"

"No. I'm scared for you, Coddles."

Cody's eyes are breaking and he presses his head towards Ted's chest and he loses his balance and falls down. "Ow, Teddy! Please, help me!"

Ted helps him up, feeling hurt, as he wipes away Cody's tears, "I just don't want you to get hurt. I love you."

"I love you, too, Teddy."

And their lips lock into a warm kiss, both of their bodies pressing against each other, Ted's hand in Cody's hair and they move away when they hear the Miz screaming, "get a room!"

Both of them twist to see Miz's tear stained face.

"Miz?"

"I'm fine." Miz sniffs and in a whisper, he says those words…

"_John's fine."_

* * *

"Here!"

John pushes a huge teddy bear towards Randy's chest, making Randy hold onto the oversized bear and he stares into John's gleeful eyes and he can't help but give off a sad smile which makes John's smile fade as he pulls Randy to him, both of their bodies pressing against each other. "Hey…" John whispers.

"Why am I so messed up, John? Why can't I feel happy?"

Randy presses his head towards John's chest, sobbing terribly, and John's lips press towards Randy's cheek, both of them just fit together.

"Her name is Alanna," he runs his hand through the bear's short hair.

"Who says that _his_ name is Alanna?" John asks, arching an eyebrow.

"His name is Randy."

"His name is John."

"Randy."

"John."

"Randy."

"John."

At the cab, Randy argues one more time before yawning and John, oblivious, repeats the name John again but when he looks down towards his shoulder, he sees Randy there, drooling and with a hand gripping onto the white teddy bear as he kisses Randy's forehead. "Goodnight, Ran…"

**I'm dying on the inside without you.**

_I just love you…or do I? I don't know what love is…I'm sorry…_

* * *


	44. Two Roads

**It took me forever to update. I even forgot what this story was about. XD. But I hope that you didn't. If you did, then this is going to be very hard for you I guess. By the way, I almost forgot about this fic but then, when I saw it, I felt soo guilty for not updating here. And other fics. I stir too many fics. Dammit.  
**

**

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Two Roads

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The colors around him are all dulled black and blue as John rolls around his bed but wakes up when he feels nothing there but air that interrupt his sleep and as his eyes slowly flutter open, two icy blue eyes that search around the darkness that engulfs then entire room into nothing but blackness and pain and horror and his eyes search the room for Randy's body and he finds him, by the window, with a sheet wrapped around gray sweat shorts and a ragged black t-shirt and John walks over to him, sitting beside him on the table, staring outside at the window.

"Randy?" John kisses Randy's cheek but Randy's just staring out in the endless void of nothingness outside the window. "Are you hungry? Do you need anything? …Ran?"

Randy looks at him, staring at him with those sad eyes that just burn a hole in John's heart, "Randy, are you—?"

"I hate this," Randy's voice is soft and delicate. "I hate this. I fucking hate all of this! John, look outside, what do you see? You see a world that has no limits but I don't. I don't see any of that anymore. It's all limited. My time. My place. Just everything is limited. There are no _two roads_ anymore. Just _one_ road. One way to go. Death."

Every word stings harder than ever and John finds himself just staring at Randy's face, "you know that's not true."

"Not true? I'm fucking dying and I don't know why I want to live since I have nothing to live for. Dammit! I thought that when I'd come back here, everything or at least _something_ to go right but _nothing's_ right. Everything's just messed up!" John engulfs Randy into a hug, trying to calm down the panting man but he won't calm down. "John, why the hell is this happening to me? Why me?"

"I-I don't know," John kisses Randy's forehead and Randy pushes him off. "Ran—?"

"Don't come any closer." Randy says, covering his body with a blanket, "I don't think that I can take another thing happening to me…why does this have to be the way I go? Why can't it be peaceful? Why…?"

John watches as Randy goes back to watching the window, just blankly staring at it, and John lays down beside Randy, peering out of the window, looking for that two roads one road thing that Randy's been talking about but he just can't see it as he puckers his lips. "You know what I see?" John's eyes intensify around the image outside of the window. "I see some sort of painting."

"A painting?" Randy repeats.

John nods his head slowly, "yes, I see a stupid painting and we're all just stupid people tossed in it and we're all trying to make ourselves bigger than we already are because when we look in the sky and compare ourselves to stars and planets, we're all just as small as ever but what matters is what you feel…if you feel important, then you're trying to cope. If you feel small, then you're just like the rest of those stupid people. Just dots."

"That's how you see the world?" Randy replies, soft as ever.

"How I see the damn world around me." John nods his head, silently and they both stare at each other, unable to say the words they're itching to say as John takes another blanket from the nearby chair and leans back down next to Randy, both on the cold floor, and before Randy can say anything about it, John's on the floor, wrapped in a blanket, his arms on the floor as if he's been pinned down and Randy watches John as he tries to go to sleep. '_Cute'_ is the word to describe the relaxed face of John Cena right now.

**You're beautiful.**

_Not as beautiful as you are._

**I love you.**

Randy bites his lips, he doesn't know the meaning of those three words much less say them all over again, without meaning at all, and it doesn't take much until Randy's asleep and both of them are trapped with each other in this mess but they don't really care as long as they're together and as sunshine burns and the birds sing to another stupid morning in this stupid painting, John Cena slowly opens his eyes and looks at Randy, who looks too peaceful asleep.

_You look more alive sleeping than you do awake._

John watches him snuggling to John's chest and he can't help but smile. Randy's too cute sometimes and he holds Randy close, just staring into that face at ease, not caring for anything anymore.

Just nothing.

* * *

**Next one is '**_**Illusion'**_**.**

**Summary: Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes volunteer to help children who'd never drawn anything before. Randy and John tagging along? That's what makes everything one hell of a nightmare.**

**X Sam.**


	45. Illusion

**Update! :)  
**

* * *

Illusion

* * *

Illusion, by dictionary definition, is something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality.

To Randy Orton, illusion's the thing that was keeping that fake smile imprint on his face as he watches John Cena hold onto a tiny child by his side and curly blonde hair falling to her shoulders and that bloated face is just too cute and Randy's eyes are tracing along that beautiful, soft and delicate rosy shade that smears across the child's cheeks as she giggles, letting the tiny hand daub across the white paper, and another giggle escapes the girl's throat as she looks up at a cheerful Cena. "I like this color! I like it a lot!" She waves the fuchsia crayon around in the air. She stares at John's face, "what color do you like?"

"I like green," John responds, taking a vivid crayon from its set and drawing a childish line, "I like my line." He grins.

"Hey! My lines are better!" she smears a not too well drawn line on the paper and pushes John playfully and John pretends to be weak and falls down, making the girl giggle, a silly laugh, "I hurt John Cena!"

"Don't tell the press!" He chuckles softly, hugging the girl close to him and Randy can't help but let that fake smile stretch as he sits down next to both of them, making the girl steps back towards John, sudden fear overtaking her eyes. John shakes his head, "what's wrong, sweetie?"

"He's a bad man." She sniffs, pressing her head on John's chest and Randy's smile turns into a tight line as he stands up and is ready to leave before John takes Randy's hand, making Randy twist his head and look at the welcoming John, the delicateness of his pink lips are puffy with that softness, and Randy has to retain himself from leaning in for a kiss from him as Randy sits down next to John and the blonde girl.

"He's my best friend," John says, taking Randy by his shoulder and pushing him towards John's body and Randy restrains himself from letting tears fall because of the complete delicateness and life and lividness that John has and in which Randy completely and utterly lacks, and in that moment, Randy feels dizziness overwhelm him as he presses his head on John's chest.

"Randy?"

The girl slowly steps Randy's figure, "is he gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," John smiles, brushing his hand against Randy's back, "he's gonna be okay. My best friend. He's just sick."

"Oh, I hate it when I'm sick!" the girl shrieks, giggling softly, and then touching Randy's face, "maybe Johnny can read Randy a bedtime story! That always makes me happy!" Randy's about to cry and such a oblivious child and part of him is just waiting to scream that he has cancer and that's not as easy as a cold that will put him in bed for a week but he keeps his lips shut tight.

"Randy is very sick actually. He doesn't have time for a bedtime story. He keeps watching reruns of Friends with me," Randy pushes him away in a playful manner and John pushes him back down and the cheerfulness of his face fades when he sees that Randy's cringing in pain, holding onto his arm, and groaning. "Ran?"

"I'm fine. It's-" before Randy can finish his own sentence, he stands up and runs to the nearest trash can, kneeling down towards the bin, he throws him violently, feeling his throat burn with acid and bitterness as he breathes in, having John walk towards Randy, and holding onto his shoulder. "I'm fine, John."

"You just threw up! You're not fine."

"I ate too much."

John's serious face slowly crumples into a softer look, "told you not to eat all those cupcakes in the cab!"

"I was hungry." Randy burps softly which causes him to cup a hand on his mouth and both of their eyes lock each other, both of them suddenly bursting into laughter as Randy stands up, still slightly dizzy and he holds onto John for support as he stands up, both of their eyes look around the children that are now staring directly at him and Ted steps towards them, "looks like they've got new friends, don't they?" Ted chuckles.

"Because we're so awesome," John responds, grinning and Randy can't help but want to trace his fingers along the dimples of his cheeks, _so cute_, and he pushes the need away, locking his eyes back towards Cody who's still holding onto his crutches, and watching around, a gleam in his turquoise eyes, and a genuine smile on his face that makes Randy feel envious.

**I can't even smile right.**

"Let's go back to coloring," Ted instructs, "Cody, go back on your stick figure eating a hamburger thing."

"HEY! That is not a stick figure! That's you!"

"Jeez, Cody, I'm not that thin! And I don't like cucumbers in my burger!"

The two descend towards their round, red table which makes Randy and John walk towards their own table, Randy takes a clean, white paper and John takes a black crayon from the set, and both of their hands move as John's eyes lock at Randy's drawing. "Now, that's a _hot_ stick figure, who's that?"

"…it's you."

"_Ahhhh_," John says, taking in the horribly drawn picture in front of him and a chuckle escapes his throat, "my favorite number is 54. Not 45."

"Same thing."

"No."

"Same thing."

"No."

"Same-"Randy clutches onto his stomach again, feeling the acid burning and sloshing around in the walls of his thin skin, "I'm never eating cupcakes ever again."

"I bet you'll eat cupcakes on the ride to the cab."

"I will not."

"Yes, you will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, you will."

"No, you won't."

"No, I won't."

"Yes, I will!"

When Randy realizes what he's just said, he covers up his hand on his mouth, as John chuckles and brings Randy close to him, as Randy curls up in John's lap. "Used to it, aren't you?" John asks, and Randy slowly nods his head. "When the kids ask, we'll say that Randy's still sick from his two dozen cupcakes."

"Was only a dozen!"

"Still too much," he kisses Randy's earlobe and looks back at Ted and Cody who are fighting over a crayon, both of them pushing each other as they lung for the blue crayon and that makes them both chuckle as tiredness replaces humor in Randy's body. "You need to go to bed?"

"Yup."

"Nap time. Let's go get you some cookies and milk and a teddy bear to go along with you."

"Assclown."

"There are kids around here!" John reminds him, covering Randy's mouth but Randy knows that John doesn't really mind cussing as long as it's light and muffled and Randy moves his head, looking around at the colorful area, where the children are drawing anywhere they can, some markers are smearing on the walls, children fighting over crayons (including Cody and Ted who are now running around a couple of girls for their blue crayon) and some are just drawing silently with their new colors for the first time in their lives. Most of them are seven, nine and even ten to twelve around here.

Randy softly snuggles in John's body but when they hear a voice, they are revved back into the world around them. "Hey," a boy starts, staring at him with wide eyes, "don't you like call your type gay?"

"Our type?" John responds. "Hey, hey, buddy, you got it all wrong. We're just best friends."

"_Sure_," the fifteen year old responds, rolling his eyes, looking at a similar smaller boy who's probably his brother or cousin or another relative and soon, "you people are disgusting. How does it feel like to stand into millions of your fans and lie to them every day about who you are? Disgusting."

"Hey, I can be whatever I want. If they don't like me because I'm me then they're not really my fans."

"Cliché."

"Doesn't matter." John twists his head down onto Randy's body who's holding onto the thick fabric of John's Bermuda jeans, looking out into space, the sadness burning on his face as he takes those moments just thinking of those words that the boy's just said about his John, this is effecting his career—"So what if I may be gay? So what?"

"Disgusting," the boy repeats, "how dare you live with yourself knowing that you're disobeying your own religion?"

"Why do you care?" John's face is too hard and rigid and he doesn't seem to care as he takes Randy's face as John leans down to capture Randy's lips into a kiss and Randy's ready to pull away but John's the one that pulls away, so soft and passionately, caring and loving and he hears the sound of the child making gagging noises.

"Hey, why don't you just leave John alone?!" Randy finally exclaims, standing up and almost falling back down as John catches him, holding onto his sweetheart, as both of their bodies brush against each other, electricity burning in their spines.

"Randy…"

"Just leave me alone!"

Randy stomps out of the building, all the children teary-eyed as John rushes after Randy's silhouette, leaning down towards the black trash can as Randy vomits into the trash can, violently and aggressively and John runs towards him, holding onto Randy's shoulder, "this is not okay."

"John, I'm fine-"

"No, you're not." John takes Randy's body into his arms, hearing Randy's shallow, sharp breathing as he holds onto John's shoulders, both of their bodies pressing against each other.

"Let's take you to the hospital."

"I'm fine! I don't need to-" Randy's throat is burning and his eyes are ready to roll in the back of his head and he leans down towards the trash can and vomits again, feeling as if there's nothing left in his body anymore, he stands up, dizzy and he's ready to fall but John catches his arm before he falls.

"Randy, I don't want you to get hurt. Let's take you to the hospital."

In around an hour later, Randy lays on his white cot and he doesn't even remember the words that are flowing out of the doctor's mouth but he's staying here a while, he's so tired and John sits beside him and Randy feels something cover his head as he feels the cold fabric of John's hat on his head and Randy's head twists towards him.

**I love you.**

Randy shakes his head. He can't love John. He's incapable of loving anyone and everyone knows it, especially his suffering, bleeding heart.

_I love you._

John stares into Randy's eyes but he doesn't say those three words that are ready to flow out of the tip of his tongue.

"Randy, I need to tell you something."

"John, I need to tell you something."

Both of them stare at each other.

"You first."

"You first."

Randy sighs, "I-I-"**I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you**. "I need another pillow. What were you going to say?"

John stares at him. _I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you_. "That I want a bite to eat and was wondering if you wanted anything."

Randy flops to his side, "that kiss…meant nothing right?"

"Yeah." That kiss meant everything to him, it was passionate and slow, filled with love and friendship, livid and vivid, it had every emotion they could ever want to capture…it was just perfect. He bit down his lip and he knew that he couldn't risk making Randy go through all that pain again.

_In the end, we're all living in an illusion of perfection in reality._

* * *

**Yeah, that's just about it. I hope I have longer chapter. The next one is '**_**Family'**_**.**

**;) With my twist, of course.**

**X Sam.**


	46. Family

**Fluffy angst. Enjoy.**

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Family

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When Randy awakes that morning, he awakes to the sight of John's head on his bed, his back slouched, soft inaudible snores falling from his lips, tiredness clearly plastered on his face and Randy grins as he tries to shake John awake but he won't wake up. The nurse walks by towards them to check on Randy, her face filled with makeup and before she can walk out, Randy reaches out to grab her arm and whispers something in her ear and she laughs before she pulls out a pink bag and Randy takes it.

After an hour or so, John wakes up to the sound of Randy's giggling and John doesn't know what he finds so amusing, "Randy? What—?" Randy points to his face and John arches his eyebrow before John wipes his hand over his face and finds a type of powder sticking to his hand.

"What's this?" John asks.

Randy's shuffled giggles turn into full bubbly laughter and Randy runs his hand through John's hair, still trying to stifle out of his laughter as Randy takes a mirror out of the pink bag of his and shows John his face and when John sees the amount of makeup smeared across his face, he pales and shakes his head, wiping the soft red liquid away from his mouth and he wipes his face with a tissue. "Not funny, Ran. I mean, red doesn't do good with my complexion."

"_Sure_," Randy rolls his eyes.

John's eyes catches the nurse's pink make up bag and he reaches out for the bag, taking out purple lipstick and Randy covers his face with his sheets, "no, purple doesn't go well."

"What about green, viper boy?" John says, pulling out a bottle of flashy green nail polish and stands up, throwing himself on top of Randy and takes off the sheets, hearing the giggling Randy, he takes his hand and looks at the clear nails, "whoa, did this viper have a manicure?"

"Yes, a very expensive one." Randy tries to push John off but the fatigue body of his is making him unable to push John away from his body and after a while, Randy turns tired and collapses from exhaustion as John opens the polish, wiping the green liquid on his nails and after about ten minutes, John stares at his work, satisfied. "The color really stands out against your skin."

"Well, I'm not as white as you," Randy reminds him, looking at his nails, "I feel like a girl, John."

"Jeff Hardy does it all the time." John reminds Randy and Randy nods his head in agreement and silence sink in as Randy takes a bottle of alcohol and takes the polish off, and in a few minutes, after he's done, the silence still roams between them and it's beginning to turn awkward.

"Should I go get us something to eat?" John asks but Randy shakes his head. "It's…really quiet, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Randy agrees.

No words come out of their mouths once again as Randy stares out into space, his thoughts are entangled into each other, no words coming out of his open mouth as pain and agony take over the soft plastered blue pool of his eyes and John just watches as Randy twists his head away from the window.

"Randy?"

"It's fine. Really. It's fine…" his voice is shaking.

"What are you thinking of, Ran?" John's still on Randy's bed, except not on his body anymore and he suddenly leans down, both of their faces only inches apart, their lips aren't touching but oh, so close… Randy's about to push him away but before he could, his thoughts spill out of his mouth. "My family."

"Hmm?"

"Alanna's gone…and Sam…Sam doesn't like me anymore…my parents don't even know I exist…so where's my family…?" the thoughts fall off his mouth so tiredly, so brokenly, and John finds himself feeling as if these words are sinking in his own flesh as both of their eyes lock, not tearing their faces away from each other.

"You've got Ted and Cody," John suggests, remembering the duo, "and Mike and…me…" the last part is too uncertain. Does he really want to be a part of Randy's friendship-linked family? It's what he feels like he's implying. "You've got me."

_You've got my heart._

John bites down his lower lip_. No! Don't confuse Randy harder than he already is! Leave him alone…_ John's ready to kiss him. He would've but he didn't. He wants to brush his hand against Randy's cheek and he's pulled all of his energy in not doing so and in a while, it seems easy but it really isn't.

"I want Allie back." Randy whispers. His voice shatters. "It's just so hard…you know?"

"No, I don't know," John answers truthfully, "but I know that when things get tough, you shouldn't back down. That-that's not like you."

"I don't know who I am, John. I'm just…confused."

No more words are uttered as John slowly lean down to capture Randy's lips into a kiss and the shock is so overwhelming that Randy pulls off, staring into John's eyes, "why did you—?" he wants it. He does but he's just too confused. John and him aren't supposed to be meant to be, right?

They aren't.

Randy and John aren't…from what Randy knows that them being together just breaks them but then again, Randy does have this strong feeling…what is it? He doesn't know anymore…he's just—

God, why is the world spinning?

The world's just spinning and spinning and spinning.

"I'm sorry, Randy." Even if he isn't. He wants Randy and he wants him now and Randy could see that hint of lust in John's eyes as Randy takes John's shoulders and pulls him in for a kiss, their tongues are twisting into that kiss, all emotion, all passion, but as Randy pulls away, breathless, John stares down at the look that's burning in Randy's eyes. "John, I want you."

"Randy?" John's slightly confused, seeing Randy act like this, shaking and shivering with that burning lust in his eyes.

"Come on, John…touch me…sleep with me…fuck me." Randy grins a childish grin and John stands up, slightly horrified at the look that Randy's giving him. "John…?"

"Randy, you're confused-d"

"No! I'm not! Touch me, John! Don't you want me?"

_Just not like this._

John walks back towards him and he brushes a hand through Randy's cheek, his hand lifting his chin, both of their eyes are locked into each other, entwined thoughts, and Randy's head is buried into John's chest as he sobs. "Dammit, John! I don't know what to do anymore…I'm fucking dying…what should I do…?" his voice is cracking so hard and John doesn't know what to say anymore…

* * *

**I'm almost done with half this thing! :D**

**Anyways, the next one is '**_**Creation'**_**. Hope you like that one. ;)**

**X Sam.**


	47. Creation

**A little on how everyone's doing!  
**

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Creation

* * *

Ted picks up a piece of white paper.

They've been in this place for an hour and as the counselor had told him too many times that they have to draw a picture of what they feel they look like to each other and the only reason that they're there is because Cody thinks it's fun to just do everything they could do at ten o'clock in the morning and with the sun shining and the birds chirping away at a melody, Ted looks at his boyfriend who has his legs on a chair and has a black notebook on his lap, his hands drifting to the crayons in front of him and Ted just hopes that it's not a figure stick. He chuckles under his breath. Cody's well known for drawing figure sticks and as for Ted, Ted doesn't know how to draw anything to save his life. Even a figure stick proves to be too hard for the Priceless boy.

After four hours of just trying to draw, Ted finds himself hungry and his picture is in his hands as he traces along the lines and he hears Cody's chuckles, Ted looks up at Cody who gives Ted his picture while Ted exchanges with his own. Ted stares at the picture for a moment before laughing, "why the hell am I a squirrel, Cody?! A teddy bear, I understand! But a _squirrel_?"

"What? I wanted to be creative."

Ted rolls his eyes as simple as that as he catches Mike sitting there, legs on table, a picture in his lap as he films with a video tape and Ted chuckles under his breath. Looks like Mike's just being Mike right now. It doesn't take a while for Cody to laugh, "what am I, Ted? I thought you were the teddy bear!"

"Hey, it's the only thing I can draw!"

"Teddybear can only draw teddy bears!" Cody laughs, hugging the picture close to his chest as Ted rolls his eyes once again.

"Yes, Teddybear can only draw teddy bears…" Ted shuffles out his own laughter now, "but seriously, a _squirrel_?!"

"From what I remember, drawing a squirrel as you means that I see you as a playful person. Because you are, Teddy. And squirrels can solve puzzles and they change direction quick and they plan the future and the balance in giving and taking and they have the ability to warn people when something's wrong and they change a lot to avoid danger by climbing to a higher place than they're already living-"

"Cody, I get it!" Ted stands up and walks towards his disabled friend, running his finger down his cheek, and then kissing him as quickly as possible, "what does a teddy bear mean?"

"It means comfort…love…innocence…"

Ted just laughs by that point, "innocence?" He continues to laugh, clutching his stomach because his sides are just hurting from too much laughter.

"Ted!" Cody giggles, taking Ted's chin so that they're both looking at each other and the silence sinks in as Cody's grin turns into a frown, "I know that I'm like a dolphin…" his voice fades.

"Dolphin? What's that?"

"Never mind, Teddy. Never mind…"

That night, as Cody sleeps in their hotel room, cuddled into his sheets, drool seeping from his mouth and landing onto the open comic book of his and Ted doesn't even remember what issues he has or doesn't have anymore as his hands type away at Cody's laptop, not saying a word in case he wakes Cody up but Ted knows that Cody's a heavy sleeper. He goes to a page and reads the symbolization of Dolphins…

_Dolphins usually symbolize wisdom (intelligence), melodic balance in life, communications as a healing voice, trust in others…_

Ted raises his eyebrow. Dolphins? Why is Cody so sad when he describes himself as a dolphin? There isn't anything wrong with dolphins. He hears a grunt slipping from Cody's lips and before Ted can shut the laptop down, Cody moves towards him and reads from Ted's shoulders. "Cody, why are you so…sad…when you mention dolphins? I mean, wisdom, melodic balance, communications, trust…what's so bad about dolphins?"

Cody's voice cracks in his throat. "Ted…do you know that dolphins are sex-obsessed? Like me? That they're cruel to their children? That's me!" tears are threatening to fall out of his face.

Ted stares, no sound coming out of his mouth. "Cody…you-you love kids."

"I can't take care of one, Teddy! I know you want kids ever since you saw Randy and Alanna, and I can't give you that—I'm sorry—I'm horrible. I-"Ted puts the laptop down onto the floor and holds Cody as Cody buries his face into Ted's chest and sobs sadistically and soon, Cody's asleep but Ted can't help but remember those words, over and over and he knows that he does want children but not at the expense of Cody—

Cody's his everything.

He can't let that go away.

_No_.

* * *

Randy's fingers are entwining with his own picture.

They've been in this place for two hours and as the counselor had told him too many times that they have to draw a picture of what they feel they look like to each other and the only reason that they're there is because John has nothing else to do but this and even if it's ten o'clock in the morning and John and Cody are both too hyper in the morning because of their daily dose of sugar, he goes along anyways. Randy has his picture in his hands and he's ready to cry because of his stupid creation. His eyes look at the crayons in front of him and he takes out a black color, shading in the object before giving it to John.

"A black cat?" John laughs and folds the paper into a paper plane, "you think I'm a black cat? The thing that superstitious runs away from in the street?"

Randy nods his head before he peeks into his drawing, of a feline cat, cinnamon colored paws and ears and cinnamon stripes laying around his body and the cat's white. "Black and white?"

"That's the best combination ever," John says, smirking at him and Randy stares at him for a while before returning to the neatly drawn picture. "Why'd you pick a black cat, Randy? I wanna know!"

"Fine," Randy sighs, his eyes never leaving that bloated pale face of John's that he's grown attached too. "You know that black cats meant bad luck in superstition, right?—well, that's what I thought you were. A black cat. I didn't want any bad luck from you…I thought you were there just to fuck up my life…but then… that 'bad luck' turns into 'good luck' all of a sudden and it's teaching me not to be superstitious about this all…to believe what I want to believe…not what some stupid theory tells me to."

John nods his head and Randy shows him John's picture all over again and he nods his head. "Feline. You're feisty, aren't you? I've never seen so much confidence in a man when he walks into the ring! You always know what you want and you'd claw your way towards it. I love that about you."

_I love you._

John's tongue curls in his lips. No. He's not going to break both of them by saying those three words and cause confusion all over again. No. He'll just have to hold back his own needs. He'll have to think of Randy first. Their relationship—it's over. It's all over. Randy puts his piece of paper in his backpack and John does the same, and it doesn't take them more than ten minutes to get out of the room to get some lunch.

_I really love you…_

* * *

Mike Mizanin doesn't like drawing.

He lives for drawing and he loves finger painting and he's such a child but he doesn't care and neither should the rest of the world.

Couples have to draw their pictures to each other and Mike grabs a blank white paper and goes off to the corner of the room where no one's and he steals a book from the cubby before he puts the paper on top of it and he just starts drawing what animal he feels John Morrison's like.

He lets his felt-tip pen wonder and when he looks back down at the drawing, he realizes that he's drawn a bat.

He stares at the picture for what feels like hours and hours on end.

"We're closing."

He picks up his picture and lets the felt-tip pen fall and he walks towards the cab with the picture in his hands as he tries to understand why he's chosen John Morrison as a bat and in the middle of the cab ride, he tries to think of things that symbolize a bat.

_Death…_

His dead John Morrison. Tears are threatening to spring from his eyes.

"You're not dead, Johnny. You're not dead. You're just away…yeah, away…to a better place…I'll be there soon, Johnny…I-I'll be there soon…"

_Regeneration…_

There was no new start between them. Just a tragic end.

"Why did it have to be you, John?" sobs dragging from his lips. "Why couldn't it be me…? I'd die for you…I'd…John…"

_Cleaner…_

Laughter escapes his lips.

"Clean? You made a fucking mess when you stabbed my heart in two…"

_Guardian of the Night…_

Just then, Mike realizes that he's been talking to himself and stops talking but the sobs don't stop as he curls into the corner of the cab and the cab driver doesn't care and the rest of the world doesn't care.

"Are you watching me now, Johnny…? Are you watching me…? I'm talking to you…I'm-I'm crazy…John? John…?"

His sobs erupt too violently and his tears are shedding too quickly and his hands are burying his face from the world.

And—

"John…"

* * *

**Next chapter will be '_Childhood_'.**

**Glimpse of everyone's childhood.**

**We've seen John/Randy but let's see it again. XD.**

**X Sam.**


	48. Childhood

**Here you go...sorta long but i like it.  
**

* * *

Childhood

* * *

"So, this is your final decision?"

Carol and John Johnny Fabulous Cena nod their heads at the head desk while their eight year old son plays with little colorful block at the desk, his tiny hands gripping tightly at the sharp objects as he tries to stack the blocks properly. Carol holds her son's shoulders but he moves away swiftly.

"Yes," John's father responds. "Our final decision."

"Are you sure about this, John?" Carol asks him, her voice laced with concern and the man nods his head as John's blocks fall to the floor and the child leans down to pick them up while Johnny stands up and is about to leave, "John, let's go."

"But my blocks-"

"Let's go."

John shakes slightly as he continues to pick up his blocks at a fast pace and he runs along with his father, looking at his father, still slightly buzzed about what's going on as he follows them over to the car.

The car ride is silent.

The child notices the dense atmosphere around them.

Carol is staring outside, unable to understand what's happening as she glances over to her child and gives him a slightly smile and in the house, it's still too silent for the child to comprehend.

John lies outside of his house, trying to find something other than the silence as he plays with his blocks and then he hears the sound of glass breaking and his heart thuds as fast as ever before he stands up and walks over towards the playground, just trying to find the energy that he's had in the morning, that he's now lacking. Why's the world so dark and black?

And the atmosphere is still so dense…

…why?

He's ready to pick up his blocks but he stops in his place and lets the blocks fall down from his hands.

"What's the point…?" tears spring out of the eight year old's eyes. "What's the point of anything anymore…?"

* * *

"Randy, are you okay, sweetie?"

Ten year old Randy Orton nods his head; "yeah…" he pulls out a white paper from his bag and stares at it. "I know where I'm supposed to go."

"Sweetie, if you need me, call me." His mother pulls over towards his school and Randy steps out, closing the door behind him.

And he spends the day alone from the rest of his class, silent and he doesn't say a word at all for no one even gives him a face and he wonders if he exists. He pulls out his piece of paper and starts scribbling on it at lunch and his body is pressing against his seat while he watches the people that pass by and he uses the pencil to stab his own flesh, watching the blood flow but still…no one cares.

No one cares.

If he dies…?

He hits his head against his seat. _No one cares._

His heart's bleeding on the inside. _No one cares._

That night, he rips his wrists and he watches as the blood flows and still…no one cares and his heart's bleeding and his eyes are ready to pool tears out of them but he doesn't. Randy's body's shaking and he can't really breathe and he can't breathe and his head's pounding with horror and terror.

"…Mommy? I need you…"

He's calling her but she doesn't even hear it.

"Mommy…?"

* * *

They're paired together when they first met.

John watches as his friend sleeps down, having no blanket to cover him and he's shaking and John pulls him inside of the cover, both of their bodies pressing against each other as a weak smile covers Mike's face.

"What's your name?" John asks.

"Mike."

"Michael Mizanin?" the boy is much known along the neighborhood and John Morrison knows it. He's a troublemaker—or supposed to be, the child is very weak and fragile right now and that shocks John so much.

Mike nods his head. "Y-yeah. That Mike."

"What's wrong?"

"No one likes me…"

John's smile turns into a frown as he runs his hand down Mike's arm and watches as the child's eyes slowly drop and he hears Mike's shallow breathing as John holds onto his new friend.

"_No one likes me…"_

* * *

Even though it doesn't show, Theodore DiBiase has always loved music.

He loves hearing the soft flow of the words and he loves decomposing pieces of music but after high school, he had gotten rejected in all the schools that he'd wanted to go and had ended up in the only school he doesn't like—

Fate hates him.

His best friend, Cody Rhodes, is the only person who knows his passion for music.

He sometimes hears Ted trying to practice his flute and he had gotten him a new flute for his birthday, Ted's practicing has turned better throughout the years and now, all Cody remembers is when Ted has joined wrestling, he'd thrown his flute away in the back of his closet and he'd left his dreams there too.

Cody still has that same exact flute.

Memories are priceless.

And Cody wants priceless.

* * *

When Cody Rhodes had been young, he's teased a lot because he's in the soccer team but doesn't know how to play the game.

He tries to run as fast as he could but he falls down too fast and anyone could push him and tackle him to the floor and when he tries to forget it all, those enormous purple-blue bruises are always there to weigh him down when he looks into the mirror.

Ted doesn't know this.

Because if he does, he'd pull him out of the soccer team.

Even if he does want it to happen, he also knows that he wants to impress his father. He wants to find something he's good at. And when they're all in grade eight, Ted joins the team and watches Cody get beaten into a pulp.

"How long has this been going on, Cody?"

Cody stares at him silently before he tells him that it's been going for two years and his heart just shatters at that look that's on Ted's face.

No words are spoken for two weeks.

Until Cody goes up to Ted with tears bubbling from his eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Cody! I love you!" that's the first time he says it and Cody's eyes spill even more tears, harder and both of them embrace each other as sobs escape his lips.

Cody still remembers that day.

* * *

Mike Mizanin loves to plan ahead.

He plans ahead, parties, summers, plans, anything and everything, and he always is organized even if it doesn't seem that way and one day, sitting on the swings next to his ten year old friend, Mike speaks out. "You know, what happens if I don't get married…? Do I get to marry you?"

"I never saw a guy marrying another guy before," John scrunches up his nose, the nine year old is so confused and he has a sweet smile on his face. "But I'd love to marry you, Mike! But I don't think my parents would like it…"

They both stare into each other before laughing.

John takes it as a joke.

Mike takes it too seriously.

Now, Mike stands by John's grave, looking down with a fake, plastic ring on his finger as tears fall down from his face.

"I thought we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together… why, John? Why? I'm still crazy…I love you… I-I…"

And the only thing heard is his sobs as he falls to the floor.

* * *

John Cena doesn't believe in fairy tales.

So after reading Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty and Snow White for the ten millionth time in a year, he throws his books away and wonders why he still hopes that there are fairytales even if it's all just trash.

The pain's still there.

Why can't fairytales exist?

Why can't anyone have a happily ever after?

Why does this have to end in pain and tragedy?

John stares down at his books and he still doesn't know why the world's so unfair as he feels acid slosh in his stomach and his head's exploding and he wonders—

"Why don't I just blow my own brains out and get this over with?"

* * *

Randy Orton has never gotten help.

The blade still rips.

The pain's still there.

And when he turns eighteen and moves away, he knows that he's still got a drawer full of razors but somehow, all types of pain are too bad and he can't increase the pain anymore. It's too much for him.

"Can't torture yourself, right, can you, Orton?"

* * *

John Morrison's first kiss is with Mike Mizanin.

They're both ten years old.

"I saw my father and my mother do it."

And that's why they lean into each other and they don't know how they had added their tongues but it's just happened and both of their hands are over each other as they lean away and—

Mike still remembers the faint hint of vanilla twist that's in his mouth.

* * *

He still remembers all the time he's spent reading alone.

He doesn't like reading.

John just puts the countless of books in front of him and reads the beginning and tries to say the ending just by it all and he always knows that the endings are always happy and perky and cheerful and that's what makes him throw the books away when he reads the end and he's yet to find a person that would write that tragic end to the book.

He can read eyes.

Randy's eyes are constantly made of love and life.

But John isn't sure about anything anymore.

_All those fairytales are getting to my head… _

* * *

Games.

They're made to excite.

But both Randy and John are trapped in a game and they can't get out of it. The horror of life and there's one way out but they don't want to escape that way. Not that way without bravery. Suicide. No. John won't handle knowing that he'd die so cowardly and Randy does too.

So he sits through the pain because it's the only thing he can do.

_This game is killing us… _

* * *

Ted DiBiase and Cody's first date involved lots of cookies and kisses and love and affection.

Cody often wonders what happens to all those days that they used to gush about Cody's very white sweater and where they used to giggle about the simplest of things and he wonders about what happens to the days that Ted tastes of that sweet hot chocolate that always lingers in Cody's mouth for hours.

It's all washed away.

* * *

Cody remembers the memories of picture day.

Ted never smiles.

It's always imprinted in his memories.

_Smile, Ted._

But no one ever smiles anymore so Cody curls his tongue in his mouth and fakes his frowns when he's really happy.

Now, he doesn't remember how to smile anymore.

* * *

Mike Mizanin sets his rose down on the desk.

His tear tracks are still there and he has no more energy to fight the tears today and at the same time, he has no energy to cry today. He's so tired and he wants to go to sleep but he can't.

He presses his head on his shoulder.

"John…"

The pain of seeing him die away.

It's just too much.

It's just…too much.

"I love you…"

* * *

**This is sad and short but oh well...they're a bunch so it makes up for it.**

**Next one is '_Stripes_'. I don't even know what's gonna happen.**

**X Sam.**


	49. Stripes

**Oh damn, it's been so long since I've worked on this fic! I almost forgot I was working on it. Okay, I swear, my muses are all very lazy, except my Mattymuse & my Jeff muse. Anyways, I will update this tomorrow too...hopefully. Then again, on the bright side, I almost finished half of this. XP.**

* * *

Stripes

* * *

**Breathe.**

**Breathe.**

**Breathe.**

Randy's breathing is short and forced and his arms are around John's neck, who's fast asleep and Randy's trying to wake him up, slurring a sentence but he just can't and after a while, John feels the uneasy breaths on his face and soft baby blue eyes open and to John's dismay, he sees the hyperventilating, panting Randy on top of him, holding onto his shoulder and whimpering, John reaches out to stroke Randy's face and just then he realizes how much in pain Randy's in and that completely takes him out of the sleepiness he's in as he holds onto Randy's body, "I'll take you to the hospital. Now."

He just carries him, not telling him to dress up or anything and he doesn't really care. _You just don't know how your world can turn upside down in two seconds_ and he steps out, running towards the nearest cab he could...

_Oh, please, be okay._

**John, I'm not gonna be okay.**

_...please..._

* * *

It's been exacting two hours, twenty two minutes and fifty one seconds since they pulled Randy in the hospital room to stabilize him.

John sighs as he sits down beside Mike and Mike has his hand on his head and thoughts are exploding in both of their heads as John takes a glance at Ted and Cody who are holding onto each other for dear life, embracing and hugging and trying to hold back their tears but after a while, Cody starts sobbing for the dear life of his best friend _and they're so damn perfect for each other... God, Randy, please be okay. _

The nurse walks out of the room and John doesn't say a word as he follows her.

When his eyes meet his Randy, so peaceful, so into his sleep, he doesn't feel as if anything's wrong anymore while the Doctor just stands before him. "What blood type are you, John?" the Doctor asks him in the most polite way he could.

"I'm an O negative."

The Doctor simply nods his head and he looks back at Randy. "He's dying."

John swallows nervously.

_Empty_.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." His voice is weak and brittle. "Can I do something about it?"

The Doctor again, nods his head and sighs. "He needs a transplant. A bone marrow transplant and your blood type works with every body so it would be easy for Randy's body to function or..."

"Or I back out and he dies." John already knows the answer and his eyes have never left Randy's face, his beautiful, beautiful, peace, so at rest, serene face that just ache John's heart more than ever as he walks towards him and he reaches out a hand to stroke the soft skin of Randy's face and a small, sad chuckle escapes his mouth_...you've always been so damn perfect. Even when you're broken on the inside._

**I-I'm so broken. Fix me.**

"I'm doing the transplant."

_I'll fix you._

When the actual thought that's running through John's mind...

_How can I fix you when I'm just as broken?_

**Broken pieces just cut.**

_Let's cut together, baby, let's cut together, Randy...leave...Ran..._

* * *

The stripes of blood are sliding down the table.

It's the only thing that's in Mike's mind right now, the vision of blood that's so vividly painted in his head and just as John walks out of the room, Mike sighs and stands up, those eyes locking with each other, and Cody and Ted hold onto each other even tighter while John explains and he doesn't really care about their opinion and he doesn't care if he dies on that operation table, as long as he dies for Randy then that's all he needs.

_I _**love**_ him so d_**am**_n much it _**hurts**_._

* * *

**X3. I am so having writer's blocks for these little things. You wanna try writing 100 chapters? XD.**

**X Sam.**


	50. Breaking the Rules

**This is basically just a flashback for those who don't know.**

* * *

Breaking the Rules

* * *

John just stands there.

Waiting for the confirmation for the surgery as he plays with a pencil, a million thoughts running through his head and he remembers...he remembers his and Randy's relationship when they're younger, the memories they shared, most of them are sad but some have a slight hint of happiness and John sighs before putting down the pencil, letting his mind wander off into the blackness of his thoughts, turning into vague pictures, his memories...

Randy runs his fingers along the sheets of his covers, his thoughts finally condensed into memories...

**Twelve year old Randy Orton walks downstairs in his blue duck pajamas as his mother stands there, talking to someone on the phone while she turns his head towards Randy every moment, only says "yes"s and "no"s before saying her plans for then night and giving a clear description of their address and then she leans down and kisses his forehead and telling him that he'll have a babysitter and just as she walks out, the 'babysitter' walks inside, a smile on his face and when Randy Orton realizes it's none other than fifteen year old John Cena, his heart pounds with horror and John walks towards him, leaning down towards him. "What's wrong with you?"**

**"What's wrong with me?! Why do you have to ruin my life?" Randy's not the happiest child ever, who had slit his wrists before once and who'd been so scared and confused about who he is...he's never been happy in his own perspective. "Just leave me alone-"**

**Just before Randy can finish the sentence, John lifts Randy's chin and leans down to capture his lips into a kiss.**

**Randy pulls back. "This is damn wrong! I'm 12! You're 15!"**

_John doesn't care about what's forbidden and about what's not forbidden and all he sees now is Randy, the passion of those eyes, the sweet seduction, and John just can't take it as he pounces on top of Randy, knocking the brunette down to the ground and just before Randy has a time to grasp on what's happening, John leans back to kiss Randy, both of their tongues twisting, their bodies rolling around and soon enough, John's hands are ripping through the clothes that Randy's wearing and even if Randy's not ready and John can clearly see that, he still goes on..._

_It's only about two hours later that he'd taken Randy's tired body towards the bed. He lies him down towards the bed and that's when he hears Randy's mother walking in. "Good job, John." John's eyes are only onto Randy's body...then his face...those eyes...he wasn't ready for that..._

**That morning, as Randy arises, he feels weak and frail and he feels so damn tired as he moves around and he remembers last night and shame burns through every particle in his blood and veins and arteries and he stands up and walks downstairs and the disgrace is just too much as he tries to cover up last night's sex by showering and wearing his clothing and he's pretty sure that no one can tell if he's still a virgin or not, and it's just scaring him so bad and through breakfast, just when she asks him for the salt, Randy's eyes bubble with tears and he just let his words fall out of his mouth. The shame's all too much. "Mom, I had sex."**

**Her eyes are wide with horror. "W-what?!"**

**"I swear I wasn't ready! He-he held me down! He-he-" **

**"Who is he?"**

**Randy just stares at her for a moment, seeing the disgust that floods through her eyes and after a moment, Randy just gives in. "John Cena. Yesterday, when you went away, he just kissed me and...then...he...he..."**

**He sobs terribly and holds his head into his hands. "Randy..."**

_John Cena just watches as his mother hangs up Randy's mother and Carol Cena looks back at John, her eyes widening, shock filling every particle in her eyes as she lets her words slip off her tongue. "Rape?!"_

_"I didn't rape him, Mom! He was cooperating!"_

_"He's 12!"_

_"He...he wanted it. I know he did!"_

_"JONATHON!"_

_Her voice is high-piercing. He's never seen her so angry at him, so ashamed, so furious. "He's 12 years old and you raped him, didn't you?"_

_John shakes his head. "I didn't rape him, Mom...yes, I had sex with a 12 year old...but...God, he was so beautiful...I just couldn't resist. Momma, please, understand, I didn't do it just for the sake of it...he's just lying...the little..."_

_"John. He's torn up and shook up!"_

_"I-I'll make it better. I'll talk to-"_

_"I think you've done enough."_

_John just twirls and turns on his heel, walking off to his room and he knows that Randy had been cooperating with him...in a strange, hard to explain way and just as he remembers the look of horror on his face, he just stops... "I raped him..."_

**Randy turns over his bed, feeling his body ache with every fiber of his being. He lets out a small whimper and he knows that the 'rule' that his mother and Carol had agreed on is that John can't visit him anymore and he's not allowed to touch him and if that doesn't go well, then his father can always file a restraing order...and now, he reads over his book and then puts it on the drawer, turning over again and again, tossing around...**

_It's been two weeks and Randy still hasn't been around._

_John knows it's breaking the rules but he just can't help it. He walks towards the Orton household and he climbs up the tree to Randy's room and when Randy sees him, John cups his hand onto Randy's mouth just to shush him, "quiet...I need to tell you something..."_

**Randy just stares at him. "W-what?" He's ruined his life. He swears he has.**

_"I-I'm sorry," John apologizes and sits down, running his hand through Randy's light blue hair. "I'm so damn sorry...Randy, please, forgive me...I didn't know...it was out of line...I was being an ass. Just-"_

**Randy leans towards him and captures his lips into a kiss and then pulls back before breaking into tears. "I'm just so fucking confused!"**

_Randy feels John's arms wrap around him, shushing him as Randy falls asleep in his arms and John just stares at the peacefulness of Randy's face and John's heart might've exploded from the beauty of that face...holding him close...breaking the rules...and he doesn't care._

* * *

**The next one is going to be '_Sport_' and it's also a flashback to their high school problem.**

**Summary: 12 year old Randy Orton gets hurt during a game and the 15 year old helps him. But a striking conversation can send them into a darker point of their 'relationship'...  
**

**That's the basic summary. X3.**

**X Sam.  
**


	51. Sport

**Heh. Update. 8D**

* * *

Sport

**

* * *

The blow is quick. He doesn't even remember why Reggie would hit him but then the reason hits him hard, the surreal act of him telling Reggie that he is just too fat to be on the team even if Reggie's clearly anorexic and Reggie's hands allowing the baseball bat to fall as he starts crying silently. The hit of the bat to Randy's face is strong and sensual and just there. It's really happened. His skin feels like it's pulsing pain and his stomach feels like it's condensing. He doesn't even know why he's called Reggie fat but a certain bolt goes off into his brain and he suddenly finds himself just saying things to gain the power. **

**The power is delicious. It's everything he wants to taste – and he just wants more of it, all the time. He doesn't care though. It doesn't matter though. He has to push most of his thoughts away and just think of other things – and he does. Until Reggie picks up his bat and hits him again. "Listen to me!" Reggie's face is swollen red and Randy wonders why he's called him fat again, seeing his shoulder bones basically peek out from underneath his thin sweater. **

**"What's going on here?" **

**"Coach, he called me fat."**

**"Reggie—"his eyes are still scanning Reggie's body, as if just realizing right then how malnourished Reggie actually is. The coach stares back at Randy, whose been hit twice and the effects show, his flesh is swollen and a streak of blood is pulsing near his cheek. It's only a bit but the throbbing of the aftermath still burns. The coach tells them both to go sit down and just as Randy's about to turn around, he bumps into another body.**

**His first instinct is to scream and yell and find something to interrogate him with but he realizes that that person he's been staring at is none other than John Cena. **

_John stares at Randy and Randy stares back but there are no words coming out of each other's lips. The confusion that's still fresh into Randy's mind, this person…this only person that he can't really interrogate. He watches as Randy steps aside and John just has a really lucid image of him and Randy in a shipwreck and Randy's this…person in pure white, innocent – in a mess that John's created. _

I break everything I touch.

_So beautiful._

_"Hi, John." _

_It's so casual it's shocking. Randy doesn't even acknowledge that there is anything they've called as 'rape' or 'confusion', just as if two friends meeting up after a long period of time which shocks John to the point. "Hey, Ran." John responds, playing up to the image in Randy's mind._

_"Do you…" John blinks, not knowing what to say before getting a text from Mike that he's going out for lunch. John smiles at him, "do you want to go out to eat? For lunch? And…how about that cut on your face?"_

_Randy touches it as if it's insignificant and stares back at him. John doesn't know why there are short periods of silence between them but there is and it drowns him into just thinking about things he doesn't want to think about. "Hey, how about I take you back home and we can eat something home-cooked?"_

_Randy doesn't even tell John that his Mother's angry at him for touching him and he doesn't say anything as he walks alongside of John, staring at him. The twelve year old is anything but okay, John concludes. His calmness is just a sign of him not being able to take it well in John's head. John takes a sharp inhale and tries to focus on lunch but he just can't. _

_There's just something about the way Randy's acting that he doesn't like. _

_At all._

**When he's in John's house, he feels like he's in a surreal world and in a surreal place and he doesn't know what else to do rather than just sit down and face the music. He's sitting down and Carol Cena walks in, with a shocked expression on his face. "Er…he's joining us for…"**

**"Lunch," Randy says carelessly. His eyes fixated upon the table's design. The blue and green crisscross of the cover ties the room together. It looks very home-y and sweet, despite the fact that the boy who grows up sitting near this table had raped him. It's still a shock to his brain. He doesn't feel like a normal 12 year old boy and he doubts he'll ever really feel normal but this façade…it helps. **

**"Oh, okay…"**

**She dabs mashed potatoes, tuna and a piece of bread for Randy, alongside a multitude of vegetables and the first thing he notices about Jonathon Anthony Cena is that he doesn't finish all of his food. He doesn't even finish half of it. He looks guilty for eating and he looks guilty for trying to force down half the plate of food in front of him. The second thing he notices is that he sits just right at the dinner table. His Father comes inside of the room, and stares at Randy.**

**Carol looks shaken and the only thing that Randy could deduce from the situation is that John doesn't know that Randy's been raped by him. Johnny Fabulous moves towards them and smiles. "So, this is Randy Orton, huh?"**

_The boy whose life I ruined the boy who I raped the boy that deserves so much better than just sitting here in this house of horrors…_

**"Yes." Carol says, still looking pale.**

_You've got all the right to look shocked, Mother Dearest. It's just not right anymore. The whole world's fucked up and I need to fix it somehow but I don't know how. I…I don't know what to do anymore…_

**"Yes, sir," Randy manages to spill out of his mouth.**

_Oh, Randy…please…just don't even try to pull up this mask around me anymore…don't try to be my friend. I know what's inside you, just crawling underneath you…Randy…_

**John takes his roll of bread and munches a bit of the top carefully as the silence consumes and Johnny opens his mouth to ask another question.**

**"So, Randy, are you—?"**

**"I raped him." John finally says, throwing down the roll of bread he had been munching on. He stands up and his shoulders are shaking. "He's in here, having lunch with me. I've got a problem…I don't know what to do with myself. I don't think I can stand the fact that the child I've raped, the person I've tainted, the…Randy…oh God, I'm damn sorry. You're confused. I'm confused. Just don't look at me anymore. I don't deserve to be here and you…just go home. I'm damn sorry that you think you have to pretend that everything's fine."**

**"Everything is fine, John." Randy finds himself saying. His eyes is staring back at John, trying so desperately to cling onto this reality of perfection he's created for himself.**

**"Please just stop…" Randy suddenly breaks down. "Please lie to me, John…lie to me…"**

**John's arms are suddenly wrapped around Randy's shoulder.**

**"Please lie to me…tell me that everything's fine…please fucking lie to me, John because I can't take it anymore…" Randy sniffles, staring back at John with bloodshot eyes. "I'm..."**

**"Randy—"**

**"I just want to…" Randy's voice is trembling. "I just want to be able to sleep again at night."**

_It's my fault. Oh God. It's my fault._

**"John…Randy…" Carol tries to get into their conversation but unable to find a reason to talk.**

**"It's…" Randy's voice is trembling again, staring back at him. "You know what's damn wrong, John? Just…confusing? Out all of this, I don't give a fuck about the rape as much as I give a damn about the fact that I'm a boy and you're a boy and we were…touching."**

**And Randy's whole world feels broken and desolate right now and he can't find himself understanding anything anymore, just staring back at John whom can't find himself to respond to him at all, in their own circle of misery.**

**"John…lie to me…tell me I'm a pretty girl…make me feel like everything's okay again…like…I have to get out these thoughts of me having to change my sex just to feel normal again…"**

**"Randy!" John's heart is palpitating. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what to do. He's got a 12 year old thinking about a sex-change. He finds himself staring at Randy as he curls towards him, and bites down his lower lip as he stares upwards at him.**

**"If I…be a girl, would you still want me?"**

**"Randy, you're not in a right state." John tries to tell him. "You…you're not…oh God, this is all my fault…look, I'm going to take you home and you're gonna fall asleep and…"**

**"Everything's gonna be okay." Randy finishes off for him, mechanically.**

**"Yeah…"**

**And it's late at night right now and he finds himself sitting beside the window, Randy Orton presses his head towards the cold window, trying to feel safe but he can't. In an instance, he hears the sound of pebbles hitting and tapping against the window and he looks down to see Johnny Fabulous waiting for him.**

**Randy arches his eyebrow and stares back at his rapist's Father… **

_It's my fault. Oh my God. It's just all my fault…_

**

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**

Coming up:

_'Deep In Thought'_: Randy really considers a sex-change and Johnny Fabulous is planning with him on getting one...but in whose bank account and whose name?

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**Talk about fun. :D**

**X Sam.**


	52. Deep in Thought

**Yay. I'm alive.**

* * *

Deep in Thought

**

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**

Randy slowly goes downstairs and steps outside. He's cold and he's wearing an old shirt and oversized shaggy sweatpants as he moves towards Johnny Fabulous. His heart is palpitating and he doesn't know what to do or where to go. The man nods towards him and right then, John Cena moves towards him, looking defeated and angry at his Father.

**Randy doesn't even try to acknowledge John being there. He's almost sick of being around him only not. **

**"Look, Randy, you mentioned a sex-change…now, we can't let him realize that John's gay…"**

**Randy's heart is pumping harder than ever. Hot blood surging and he finds his face feeling heated and him feeling defeated. He doesn't understand how his Father could even think of that. Randy takes a gulp. "Now, nobody in the wrestling business knows that my John's gay…so…if they happen to catch the news, it's not going to be very pleasant, is it?"**

**"No. It isn't." Randy's voice is dry and he doesn't know what else to say. He realizes just then how much he's torn between throwing up and crying and John can see all of this but he can't say a word and Randy feels all alone into this, enclosed into what feels like a conversation that'll change him. **

**"Don't you want to feel pure again, Randy?"**

**That hit a button in Randy. Hard.**

_Please just stop it, Father. You're hurting him. Oh God, you're hurting him…I'm done hurting him…_

_Please don't hurt him._

_All John could do is stare Randy as he quivers into his breakdown and all that's running through his mind is that it's wrong. It's just so wrong. He's a twelve year old boy that's been trapped by this one mistake that he's made and he's the only one that's suffering because of it. He suddenly finds himself sick and wants to slap his Father and himself as hard as he could've – just made everything disappear, make sure Randy's never met him…_

_I hurt you. Oh God, Ran, I hurt you so bad…_

_And it shows. It shows._

_I don't want it to show…_

**It'll make me right again. If I do this, it'll make me pure again…I don't want to feel like a freak anymore just because… of John. **

**I...I don't...**

_**"Randy…" John suddenly speaks up, his voice dry and there's a hint of despair and anguish through his voice. "Is this going to make you happy?"**_

_Johnny keeps on talking. "It's going to be perfect, you're going to be perfect…I can bet you'd be gorgeous as a girl, Randy…it's all going out as planned. It's beneficial for you and me."_

**Perfect I'm going to be perfect…**

_"Is this going to make you happy, Ran?" John repeats over his Father's words._

_**Thud, thud, thud, thud…**_

**His heart races and he doesn't know what to say. **

"**I'll—"Randy takes a gulp of air, almost like he's been banned from oxygen for the last 20 seconds, "I'll do it." **

**His voice is shaky. His body's shaky.**

**He's shaky.**

**John just stares back at him.**

_Thud, thud, thud, thud…_

"**Randy, will this make you happy?" John repeats one last time.**

"**I don't know what makes me happy anymore…" Randy's voice is soft and breakable. "People being nice to me used to make me happy. Just breathing every day used to make me happy but now, that's just not enough. There's just this part of me missing…and it's taken all my happiness with it…John…I don't know…I don't know anything anymore."**

**John's heart aches. He wants to somehow just hold him and make it all better.**

_I want to kiss it all a-a-away…pretend everything's okay all over again_

_

* * *

_

_It's not long until Johnny actually wakes John up from what feels like a short, restless sleep and he tells him they're going to go get pick Randy up for the operation and John's stomach twists violently at the thought of his male Randy just turning into this entire different stranger…maybe that's what Randy wanted – to erase his existence._

**Oh you have no idea, John…you have no idea…**

**At the bank, it's all so shocking and lucid and clear when Johnny gives him the card, writes the numbers and signs Mike Cabana's name.**

* * *

John's eyes widen. He's the reason behind it all. His heart is thumping wildly into his chest. It's only giving him more reason to do the surgery than ever before. It's all by Mike C's money—Johnny's been stealing Cabana's money…the thought swirls into his head. That's why Mike wants to ruin John's life. It's why he set up this bet. It's why they've trapped them in that Godforsaken place. It's why he's doing anything. It's all revenge. It's his fault John Morrison's dead, Mike's torn about it, Ted and Cody are in this tight, unbreakable gist in their relationship and Randy's experienced all of this horror…

_It's my fault. Just kill me on that operation table, Doc…Mike, oh God, Mike…Randy…Ted…Cody… _

_Will you ever forgive me for not stopping my Father…?_

…

_Will__** I**__ ever forgive me...?_

**

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**

Realisation, realisation...

Remember the other Mike? The one in the beginning? The bet?

Do you remember ANY of the storeh?

X Sam.


End file.
